freakydiver 0 #1 August 21, 2003 Forwarned, this is a bad joke thread... Laugh away! What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? Getting her back in the wheelchair. -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #2 August 21, 2003 Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs in your Jacuzzi? Stew.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #3 August 21, 2003 You know what cannibals call Christopher Reeves? Meal on wheels__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #4 August 21, 2003 On the topic of OJ.. Why couldn't Nicole accompany OJ to Chicago? She was stuck in Brentwood... My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lizzieb 0 #5 August 21, 2003 how do you know toothpaste was invented in Arkansas? because if it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called teethpaste Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #6 August 21, 2003 How many chauffeurs does it take to kill a princess? One and a fifth. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #7 August 21, 2003 JFK, Jr. was on the radio. And the control yoke, and the rudder pedals.. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #8 August 21, 2003 Not racist or anything but my next door neighbor who is Mexican told me this one... What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #9 August 21, 2003 what do you call a skydiver with no arms or legs? biff.____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #10 August 21, 2003 good one... differance between a bitch and a slut? Slut F***s everyone...A bitch F***s everyone.....but YOU.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndyMan 7 #11 August 21, 2003 Old, but golden. Q: What do you call skydiving lawyers? A: Skeet. _Am__ You put the fun in "funnel" - craichead. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #12 August 21, 2003 What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a shady lawyer? Chelsea Clinton!__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GARYC24 3 #13 August 21, 2003 What's the difference between an old hooker and a young hooker? One uses Poly-Grip, the other uses vaseline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #14 August 21, 2003 QuoteQ: What do you call skydiving lawyers? A: Skeet. Whoa. Careful what you say there... My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #15 August 21, 2003 LMFAO!!!!!! Keep em comin! -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #16 August 21, 2003 A man's house burns down late at night and he has no place to stay. Eventually, he sees a farm and begs the farmer to let him have a place to sleep, just for the night. The farmer allows him to stay in the barn, for which the man is grateful. The next morning at 6:00, the farmer goes into the barn to see the man wide awake. "How'd you sleep, boy?" The man says, "I didn't sleep a wink. I was talking to your animals. Hey, Mr. Horse, how's that farmer treating you?" The horse replies, "Great!" The farmer says, "My goodness! A talking horse." The man say, "It's not just your horse. Hey, Mr. Pig. How's the farmer been treating you." The pig says, "Snort. Great! Snort." At this point the farmer is jumping for joy at the money he can make. The man says, "Hey Mr. Sheep. How's that farmer treating you." The farmer yells, "THAT SHEEP LIES!!!!" My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
usedtajump 1 #17 August 21, 2003 Did you hear about the two gay truckers? They swapped loads. Did you hear about the two gay judges? They tried each other. The older I get the less I care who I piss off. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #18 August 21, 2003 Sid Hoffman or Sid Frenchman?quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeded 0 #19 August 21, 2003 (Stolen from dz.com) Whats brown and sticky ? A Stick dropdeded------------------------------------------ The Dude Abides. - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #20 August 21, 2003 Farmer story.....yadda yadda yadda.... ......and so the farmer agrees to let him stay as long as he didn't try to put his dick in any of the three holes on the wall. Yeah, right, if the farmer hadn't said that, do you think he would? Anyway...he wakes up in the hospital about a week later with the farmer standing over him. Damnit he said, I told you not to.... The guy says, "What happened?" Well, the farmer says, the first hole was my wife...she was bedin over pullin weeds... the sacond was my daugher, she was helpin her Ma... The third is why you are here.... It's the milk machine and it Don't stop 'till it gets 2 quarts.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squish 0 #21 August 21, 2003 When two heteros get married it's called a marriage license..... When two lesbians get married it's called a licker license..... ~The world lives to die but the believer dies to live.~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerry81 10 #22 August 21, 2003 What's the difference between like, love, and showing off? Spit, swallow, and gargle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
evilivan 0 #23 August 21, 2003 So I went out to buy some camouflage trousers the other day. Couldn't find any."If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation." David Brent Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
evilivan 0 #24 August 21, 2003 So this guy walks up to my car and says: 'Can I have a lift?' So I said: 'Sure; you look great, its a beautiful day.... the world is your oyster, go for it!'"If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation." David Brent Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #25 August 21, 2003 difference between a lawyer and a mosquito? One is a discusting, annoying, dirty, nasty, bloodsucker.... and the other is a bug.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
