drewboo 0 #1 August 6, 2003 Me: Old crocidile of a skydiver..wrinkled, balding,only wear glassers to see..c'ant hear very well. Thousands of jumps..1 nationals medal(silver). Baggage free. Employed. Own a home on two acres of land,1 1/2 miles from active DZ. Yours if i bounce first. Seeking female skydiver for snuggling and more! You: Formation skydiving skills a plus..hair on your head..average to slightly busty figure...able to micro-wave a meal. OK sports..guys and girls..lets share the love...use your wits and post your ad. For some reason Crazy Ivans bizzare humor cracks me up so i hope he can handle posting one of these Pull all handles before impact!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #2 August 6, 2003 My ad would be something like this: DO YOU WANNA MARRY... ..A hard working man, average-looking, slim, slighty used, good feelings and faithful, have own rig and packs well. Crazy dude, Star Wars fan, skydiver, have own rig and loves BOOBIES and LEGS, looking for a busty and leggy deaf mute nympho for a long lasting relationship Better now? __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drewboo 0 #3 August 6, 2003 Crazy Ivan!! expected more..but than realized the humor is in the fact it wasn't! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Push 0 #4 August 6, 2003 Do you wanna marry a broke skydiver university student who drives his parents Le Sabre? Didn't think so -- Toggle Whippin' Yahoo Skydiving is easy. All you have to do is relax while plummetting at 120 mph from 10,000' with nothing but some nylon and webbing to save you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guesswhere 0 #5 August 6, 2003 i've done a couple: 1) ugly virgin seeks female for sex of any description: uglyvirgin@hotmail.com 2) SWM seeks breathing female 3) ME: lonely and horny, willing to trade looks for a certain, morally casual attitude YOU: undiscriminating female ------- ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #6 August 6, 2003 Quote 1) ugly virgin seeks female for sex of any description: uglyvirgin@hotmail.com stop stealing viking's old ads! *snicker* hey, it worked for him apparently! just kidding. __ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guesswhere 0 #7 August 6, 2003 Quote stop stealing viking's old ads! just kidding. __ luckily that's an old ad... my "2days after my 23rd b-day" was a few years ago ------- ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedMonster 0 #8 August 6, 2003 OK I am lazy. I took this right off of my Yahoo personal. So this one is real! Quote I am looking for someone to be whatever… No labels, No “Lets live happily ever after.” Just take it one day at a time, have fun, talk, be monogamous, and enjoy life. It would probably be best if you were interested in skydiving… or at least up to hanging out with us there. I spend my weekends in Hutchinson jumping out of planes or waiting for the weather to clear with my skydiving friends. You do get extra bounus points if you can pack my parachute for me :) And, last but not least, the fine print: You WON’T be overweight, femmy, promiscuous, in possession of any cooties/diseases, using drugs, a social queen, a drag queen, a fan of fine art or theatre, a bleeding-heart liberal, or a tree hugger. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #9 August 6, 2003 Swm Seeking female with a heart beat. Consciousness is optional.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GARYC24 3 #10 August 6, 2003 Orgasm donor Need Recepients Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #11 August 6, 2003 I am cracking up at your ad: Quote And, last but not least, the fine print: You WON’T be overweight, femmy, promiscuous, in possession of any cooties/diseases, using drugs, a social queen, a drag queen, a fan of fine art or theatre, a bleeding-heart liberal, or a tree hugger. It's so nice to see that you're not very picky! She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedMonster 0 #12 August 6, 2003 Quote It's so nice to see that you're not very picky! I know. I am doomed to be single forever...unless I can corrupt some straight guy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #13 August 6, 2003 SWF seeks SM to be her bitch. General duties include, but are not limited to, cooking, cleaning, washing my car, running general errands, rubbing my feet, packing my parachute, and acting as social secretary. Benefits include: being in my presence. Qualifications: generally good looking and fit, posessing at least a modicum of common sense, and an intense desire to please me. PM for futher details. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skymonkey13 0 #14 August 6, 2003 Old Skydiver seeking younger female. All i have is a few simple qualifications. 1. Good Looking (Few Wrinkles) 2. Able to walk (un-assisted) 3. Have own teeth (or access to a clean set) 4. Hard Hearing a PLUS 5. Loves buying expensive presents 6. Likes quite evenings at home (by herself) 7. Enjoys candle lit dinners (at Pizza Hut) 8. Gullible 9. Mother must be deceased (this is not optional) 10.Knows the difference between "Let's go to bed and Let's go get Wed" 11.Dependent 12.Agreeable 13.Truly believes that Skydiving is done for Medicinal purposes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Katzeye 0 #15 August 6, 2003 here are some pretty good ones while I think up one for myself... clicky Is a chicken omelette redundant? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GigaBuist 0 #16 August 6, 2003 Meh.... what the hey. I'll give it a shot. SWM seeks SF. I'd describe myself as "medium" build which means that I'm probably 40lbs smaller than what you think "medium" is. I'm average height so that means I'm two inches below what you would consider average. I work a good job but I'm entirely unable to manage my own money so I'll gladly hand over that paycheck and let you handle all that nonsense. I just found a paycheck I should have deposited 3 weeks ago. Oops -- no wonder that account was running a bit low for a while. I cannot: - Cook worth a crap. - Clean worth a crap. - Remember where I'm supposed to be -ever-. I'm lucky I make it to work everyday. - Manage children, though children will be a part of the big picture. I need somebody around the house less responsible than me to make myself feel better. - Read minds. I cannot, and will not, understand any hint no matter how blatant you make it. I am however adept at handling detailed instructions so long as they don't include cooking, cleaning, or children. - Force a smile for a picture. If you're snap-happy get used to having pictures of a guy with a blank stare 90% of the time. - Lie. I'm horrible at it. Do not ask questions that you do not want to hear answers to. I can: - Fix stuff. If the women don't find you handsome they'd better find you handy, right? Duct tape is a staple in my "junk drawer", car trunk, glove box, and an extra roll or two in the closet for emergencies. - Make money, however I'm completely inept at politics so if you ever want me to get a promotion you'd better flirt with my boss or something. I am: - Agreeable. You're right, I'm wrong. I'm used to operating on these terms. - Absent minded. I'm usually unable to uhm... train, err thought... something. Where'd them potato chips go? You will be: In somewhat good shape, or close to it. Keeping track of everything for me will get exhausting. You have no choice in this matter. Perhaps by the time I'm 60 this will have changed but don't count on it. Tolerant of snoring, or have the determintion to come up with a fix for this on your own. Not mind walking around in public with a guy that looks like a leprechaun. When I see a rainbow and start sprinting for it don't worry -- I'm just after me pot 'o gold. I'll turn up sooner or later. You will have a high threshold for public embarassment. See previous. Look up directions before we leave if you want to get there on time. "It's about 2 hours north" is good enough for me to set out. Patient. In 95% of all circumstances I have the understanding and adaptability of a monkey without the ability to latch onto things with my feet. Never ever attempt to make me dance (well, slow is ok) or sing karoke. It has been attempted before and last I knew there was a convention in Geneva to declare such actions a crime against all humanity. Appreciate dry humor or just plan on not laughing a lot. Laughing -at- me when I'm not trying to be funny is perfectly acceptable though. It keeps you from getting depressed once it dawns on you what you're stuck with I figure. Assume all responsbility in the event that you give birth to female offspring. I don't understand a thing about you or your kind and don't expect this to change in the event that I'm ever the father of one you. Lack of mental illnesses such as schitophrenia are a plus but not a requirement. The whole depression thing is a little iffy though. Bi-polar is not a problem as it will keep me on my toes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #17 August 6, 2003 BWAHAHAHAHA!! OMG, dude, that's great!! If I wasn't in the office right now, I'd LOL! too funny. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,544 #18 August 6, 2003 OK, my turn... The title I got from a previous ad (they said to make it attention-getting), but the rest I just made up As a matter of fact, I AM a rocket scientist Now that I have your attention, SF seeks SM. I remember rounds, but still have all my own hair, waist, teeth, and boobs (one on each side). I'm employed, own a home and a car, and am reasonably resourceful -- I don't need someone to take care of me. But sometimes I want it. I like quiet sometimes. I love trying new things out, and eating weird foods. I can be kept happy on a very cheap date, and am more than willing to provide ideas or entertainment. I don't eat tripe, and I suck at sitflying. I especially won't eat tripe while sitflying. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guesswhere 0 #19 August 6, 2003 Quote boobs (one on each side). i think think it'd be more important to mention the height than the horizontal location ------- ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thethinker 0 #20 August 11, 2003 Hi!! I am a 25 yr old italian stallion by day, and full figured hershey kiss by nite. I like to be spontaneous, talk about an aray of things, BUTT, i do have my limits on the first date. Call me @ 1-800-big-mada..ill be waiting We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe. -Johann von Goethe Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,544 #21 August 11, 2003 Quote i think think it'd be more important to mention the height than the horizontal location Umm -- would that be before or after I sling them over my shoulders Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
digurman 0 #22 August 11, 2003 Well, you are obviously looking for a guy like me. We even jump at the same dz. I do all those errands for my wife, so I could just as easily do it for two. Economics of scale with marginal cost pricing. Words aren't real Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
digurman 0 #23 August 11, 2003 Rocket science. Cool. That's hard. I developed missile software at one time, but RS is way over my head. Srictly air breathers for me - cruise missiles. Do you work at NASA. Maybe I'll see you at Spaceland. Words aren't real Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #24 August 11, 2003 My add never did receive any responses. http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=529939#529939 -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
