Things You Never Say To A Cop

[freeflyz 0]

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.(OK in Texas)

2.Sorry,Officer I did't realize my rader detector wasn't plugged in!

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People??

4.Hey,you must've been doin about 125mph to keep up with me.Good job

5.Are you Andy or Barney?

6.I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop!

7.You're not going to check the trunk are you?

8.I was trying to keep up with traffic.Yes,I know there are no other cars around.That's how far ahead of me they are!

9.When an officer says"Gee son..Your eyes look red,have you been drinking? You probably shouldn't respond with,Gee officer your eyes look glazed,,have you been eating doughnuts?

[Deuce 1]

"You're not the Highway Patrol, you can't stop me on the freeway" and drive off.

-A classic.

[Rebecca 0]

Just got this...

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[pleifer 0]

gee off-i-ker i'z only had tee mar-toon-ee's

_________________________________________
The Angel of Duh has spoke

[sinker 0]

"no ocifer, I'm not under the alcofluence of incohol!"

-the artist formerly known as sinker

[LadySkyDIve 0]

But Ocifer, I'm only going one way!

(When pulled over going the wrong way down a one-way street.)

[Beeron 0]

I like the honest approach.....

"Sorry officer, but it just so happens that I have blatant disrespect for your locally mandated speed ordinances."

I've really had to bight my tongue on a couple occasions that I REALLY wanted to say that.

B~

[Deuce 1]

"I'd kick your ass if you weren't wearing that badge!"

(Officer takes moment to pin her badge on subject)

Officer: "Now. Let me show you how that is an entirely untrue statement"

Another classic.

[WILDBILLAQR 0]

"Are you a rookie?"
Said to a detective right before putting handcuffs on!

----------------------------------------------
"Thats not smoke, thats BUCKEYE!!"
AQR#3,CWR#49

[flyhi 24]

After refusing to pull over for a cop car with lights and sirens activated:

"My wife ran off with a cop and I was afraid he was trying to give her back."

Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics.

[Cava 0]

1 "I'm totally drunk off my ass. But I can still drive better than someone on a cell phone."

2 "Fuck you, cop."

[Malfunction 0]

officer: do you know why i pulled you over?
speeer: couldn't have anything to do with the 100 kilos of cocaine I have stored in the trunk, does it?

I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it.
- Voltaire

[TheAnvil 0]

A lady is pulled over by a State Trooper who swaggers up to her. She smiles at him and says "I guess you pulled me over to sell me a ticket to the State Policemen's Ball, didn't you?"

The State Trooper responds: "State Troopers don't have Balls, ma'am."

The lady smiles at him sweetly and the trooper turns red and proceeds to drive away.

Vinny the Anvil
Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL
JACKASS POWER!!!!!!

[pleifer 0]

officer "son, do you know why i pulled you over?"

me "no but i'm hoping you do"

_________________________________________
The Angel of Duh has spoke

[happythoughts 0]

A guy I worked with had a drinking problem that he recognized, so he dealt with it. He like to drink at a bar three blocks from his house, but did not want to drive home.

He tried to ride a bicycle to/from the bar, but that requires some balance, so he rode his riding lawnmower to the bar. This worked for about 2 months until he was pulled over and given a Driving Under The Influence ticket. Seriously.

"Bad cop, no donut"

[PhillyKev 0]

I know a guy who got a DUI for riding his wheelchair down the street drunk.

[Deuce 1]

In California operating a bicycle on the street while drunk is a DUI.

"Hi. Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"No. Because I thought I was drunk?

[towerrat 0]

officer: are you late for work?
Me: I am now......

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes!