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Keith

On homosexuality . . .

By Keith, in The Bonfire

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Keith    0

Keith
I've got one last serious thing to say. GET THE FUCK OVER IT. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm tired of people getting so heated over this subject.

I have news for those who are shouting the evils of homosexuality. I used to be one of you until I stopped hating myself and came out of the closet. Just because you have sex with women doesn't make you straight; I know, I used to have sex with women. Just because you have kids doesn't make you straight. I've known many people that were married for many years and had children Before They Came Out. Posting anti gay senitments doesn't make you straight. In case it haddn' t occured to you, You REALLY ARE making yourselves appear to be closet cases. If that's your intention, keep it up, if not you might try a different tactic.

For the rest of you DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS.

We don't spend all day taking about heterosexuality why the hell do we want to spend all day talking about homosexuality?

Now, the next tread I see on homosexuality better be, "Post your best fag joke here."

Now go play nice, have fun and post a fag joke. :)
Keith

Don't Fuck with me Keith - J. Mandeville

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Zennie    0

Zennie
Quote

Now go play nice, have fun and post a fag joke.



Two gays walk into a bar.... which is kind of odd because you'd think the second one would have seen it.

**Bada Boom!**

Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all week. Please tip your waitresses.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

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bobsled92    0

bobsled92
Quote

I've got one last serious thing to say. GET THE BUTT FUCK OVER IT. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm tired of people getting so heated over this subject.

For the rest of you DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS.

We don't spend all day taking about heterosexuality why the hell do we want to spend all day talking about homosexuality?
> Yes, yes we do.:|
Now, the next tread I see on homosexuality better be, "Post your best fag joke here."

Now go play nice, have fun and post a fag joke. :)


I am proud to say that I am comfortable with my sexuality!
"I am a Lesbian, trapped in a MAN's body";):P:P
not really a joke.... If I woke up one morning and found myself to be a female(complete) I would speand 3 days at home and bath:)
_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/

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hookitt    1

hookitt
Quote

Now go play nice, have fun and post a fag joke.



Best I could do on such short notice
---------------------------

Two faggots decide that they want to have a baby, but they
don't want to adopt because they want the baby to be as close
to their own as possible. So they both masturbate into a cup
and have a doctor use their sperm to impregnate a female friend
of theirs. Nine months later, the two fags are looking at their
baby in the hospital nursery. All of the babies are crying and
screaming except for theirs. "Wow," one of the fags says,
"Our baby is the most well behaved one in here."
A nurse who happens to be walking by says, "Now he's quiet, but
wait till we take the pacifier out of his ass."
My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

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PhillyKev    0

PhillyKev
Quote

"Post your best fag joke here."



A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, "Give me six double vodkas."

The bartender says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I''ve just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I''ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn''t anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife..."

============================

This man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and says, "I'd like to buy those two ladies a drink."

The bartender replies, "It won't do you any good."

The man, with a confused look on his face says, "It doesn''t matter, I want to buy those women a drink."

The bartender delivers the drinks to the ladies and the ladies acknowledge the drink with a nod of their heads. About a half-hour later, the man approaches the women and says, "I'd like to buy you two another drink."

The women both reply, "It won't do you any good."

The man says, "I don't understand. What do you mean it won't do me any good?"

The first lady says, "We're lesbians."

The man replies, "Lesbians? What are lesbians?"

The second woman replies, "Lesbians... We like to lick pussies."

The man says, "Bartender, three beers for us lesbians."

====================================

Two older, suburban, homosexual gentlemen had been living together for a couple of years, and were getting quite bored with their lives. They were looking at little knickknacks at a garage sale in the Castro, when one of them (Scott) stumbled upon what appeared to be a rare find.

"Look Jim, I just found the most fabulous...pot, or, I dont know what it is! It is It''s pretty filthy, but I bet it would look great in our living room!"

Jim agreed, and they purchased the object. Apparently, the holder of the sale had no idea just how valuable a thing he had on his hands, because he sold it for $10.

Later that night, Scott decides he wants to dust off this old thing. To his surprise, what he thought was an old piece of pottery was in fact made of what appeared to be gold!

"Honey, come here!" he yelled.

Jim came running, and Scott continued to polish, until POOF!- A huge creature appears in their living room! Both men scream.

"Do not be frightened!" The creature says. "I am the genie of the lamp, and you have freed me from 1000 years imprisonment by an evil sorceress. I will grant the two of you a total of three wishes as thanks!"

The two take some time to gather themselves. They stare blankly at the genie, at each other, and at the lamp for a few minutes. Finally, Jim says, "Do we have to give all three now?" "Very well," the genie replies. "You have three days in which to ask for your wishes." With that, the genie vanished.

The next day, the couple decided that they would each get one wish, and would pick the one together. They decided to first to ask for wealth. When they woke up the next day, Scott found out that he had won $100 million in the lottery, and Jim discovered that he was a distant cousin of the Sultan of Brunei. The Sultan had just died, and left Jim $500 million.

That same day Scott asked for beauty. When they awoke the next morning (in their fabulous new Belvadere Mansion), they were both stunning. Jim was a full 6 inches taller, looked twenty-five again, but was more beautiful than he had ever been at that or any age. Scott lost all his blemishes, 50 pounds, and looked like a cross between his old self and a GQ model.

Finally, it was Jims turn. Around midnight on the third day, Scott asked Jim what he was going to wish. But Jim had ALWAYS been finicky. It once took him five hours to decide whether to buy a pillow case in grape or aubergine.

"Hurry and think of something before its too late!" Scott said. Jim decided he needed time to think, so he went off to the veranda to ponder this important decision.

Just that moment, Scott heard a loud banging at the door. "Who is it?" he says. "Open up boy! We gone kill you!!", a southern-accented voice replies. Scott looks through the window and sees men in white hoods on horses, burning crosses on his lawn.

"Honey! Honey! COME QUICK!!!! The KKK is outside our door!" Jim runs over.

"What in the world are THEY doing in Marin County-I thought this place was liberal-well, I''ll call the police!" Jim says. But the phones are DEAD! The Klansmen had cut the lines!

"HONEY! WISH THEY WOULD GO AWAY! USE YOU LAST WISH TO MAKE THEM GO AWAY!" Scott screams.

"I can''t" he replies, as he slumps to the floor, and the Klansmen begin knocking down the door.

"WHY NOT?!"

Jim paused and replied, "Because I ALREADY wished that we could be hung like black men."

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turtlespeed    220

turtlespeed
Quote

Two gays walk into a bar.... which is kind of odd because you'd think the second one would have seen it.



Yeppers...coke all over he screen.
didn't even see it coming.......

Edited to include quote
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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CrazyIvan    0

CrazyIvan
As you wish:

Q: How do you know when it''s bedtime at Michael Jackson''s home?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

Q: What do you call a gay bar with no place to sit?
A: A fruit stand.

Q: Why did the gay man get a job at the loading dock?
A: He loved taking deliveries in the rear.

Q: Why do gay men make good linemen?
A: They love penetrating the defense.

Q: Why couldn''t the gay quarterback make it in the NFL?
A: He was too foreward with his passes.

Q: How do you make a lesbian anorexic eat?
A: Put pussy hair around her dinner plate.

Q: What do you call a fart in the men''s room of a gay bar?
A: A love call.

Q: Why did the gay criminal keep going back to prison?
A: He loved it in the can.
__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

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quade    4

quade
When the San Diego Wild Animal Park was in its construction phase, they had a contest to name the tour tram-line. It's a monorail sort of do-hickey that goes around the outside edge of the wide open spaces and gives the tourist a good view of the animals.

They got a lot of responces from all sorts of folks trying to slip in African sounding names and the one that won was the WGASA BUSH LINE RAILWAY.

Great name!

When asked what it meant, the guy that entered it said, "Who Gives A Shit Anyway".

Now, I only tell you that story to tell you this.

Unless you're planning on having sex with a person, what difference does their sexual preference have to do with anything?

It just doesn't matter. (Unless you're planning on having sex with them. ;))
quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

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