SpeedRacer 1 #1 June 25, 2003 Got any ideas for new inventions? Here's one: a special kind of beer tap that could be inserted into the fat in one's midsection, so that you could drain out all the beer that went into making that fat in the first place. Here's another: A children's breakfast cereal that contains little marshmallow smily faces and little chocolate turd-shaped bits. I call it: "Shits n' Grins!" Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkySlut 0 #2 June 25, 2003 I always wanted to modify one of those gyroscopic cup holders for your car to one that could be used by the severly balanced deficiencies that I can get sometimes. Keeps from spilling beer on myself and others. Sometimes it takes a while to get my sealegs back. Dont know if that qualifies as an invention, but handy none the less. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FallingILweenie 0 #3 June 25, 2003 I want to open a French restaurant that serves German food called Oui Surrender! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skybytch 273 #4 June 25, 2003 A packing machine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Sebazz1 2 #5 June 25, 2003 A sober your ass up before the first load pill... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites QuickDraw 0 #6 June 26, 2003 QuoteI want to open a French restaurant that serves German food called Oui Surrender! LMAO -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skymut 0 #7 June 26, 2003 I just wish I could come up with something to make me rich...or at least enough to work less and jump more. Matt A well-informed person is somebody who has the same views and opinions as yours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #8 June 26, 2003 QuoteA sober your ass up before the first load pill... That's been done. I own stock in the company. It is a packet of powder. Mix it with water and in 15 minutes, if flushes the alchohol from your system. I thought it was a great idea. A drunk in the ER? Someone too slammed to walk a last call? "Here...this one's on me..." Unfortunately, the company isn't doing all that well. My $400 purchase of stock is worth about $12 right now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #9 June 26, 2003 QuoteI always wanted to modify one of those gyroscopic cup holders for your car to one that could be used by the severly balanced deficiencies that I can get sometimes. Keeps from spilling beer on myself and others Take the wiper washer hose off your windshield wiper. Drill a hole in the firewall and pull the hose in and tape it to the steering column. Fill your washer fluid container with beer. When you are driving down the road, put your face next to your steering wheel and press the washer button...a mouthful of beer. Just working with the tools at hand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Unstable 9 #10 June 26, 2003 How about something that lets you scratch your balls without everyone else noticing - then again a mechanical arm mounted on your torso reaching to your crotch would just draw attention. Might make you look sexy, who knows.....=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #11 June 26, 2003 QuoteHow about something that lets you scratch your balls without everyone else noticing I like to call these "pants". I wear them over my crotch in public. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites AggieDave 6 #12 June 26, 2003 I'd love a system that would allow car to car messaging via the license plate. It'd give me a chance to tell the guy doing 60 in the left lane to move over before I push his car out of the way... On second thought, that might be a bad thing to have.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zeemax 0 #13 June 26, 2003 what about a discreet electronic monkey spanker?Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites nacmacfeegle 0 #14 June 26, 2003 "what about a discreet electronic monkey spanker?" Baggy strides and a Dyson.-------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FliegendeWolf 0 #15 June 26, 2003 QuoteUnfortunately, the company isn't doing all that well. My $400 purchase of stock is worth about $12 right now. I guess the economy is so bad right now that nobody really wants to sober up. A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkySlut 0 #16 June 26, 2003 Genius, my friend... I know this guy that actually had removable covers for the AC unit in his car. He would put his beers in there to keep them cold while he was driving. Too many empties in the car to drive with, you say??? He had that figured out as well. He mounted a tube between the two front seats that went through the floorboards so he could just drop the can through. A car behind them would only think that they had ran over it. Brilliance!!! Talk about a drunk with WAY too much time on his hands. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Mrboombosstic 0 #17 June 26, 2003 The first invention is quite noble....however they had a similar cereal called "ka booms". Your name for the product "shits and giggles" isn't to far fetched either...for the first time i ate ka booms...i spent nearly a day on the toilet. OOOOCH Procrastination is like masturbation it feels good while your doing it but in the end you realize your only fucking urself Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Muenkel 0 #18 June 26, 2003 How about perfect replica androids of ourselves that can go to work for us while we are at the dz? Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SpeedRacer 1 #19 June 27, 2003 A Telefartation device: So that you can teleport your farts to other people in the room(or plane) so that they get the blame. kinda like having a ventriloquist asshole! Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #20 June 27, 2003 QuoteA Telefartation device: So that you can teleport your farts to other people in the room(or plane) so that they get the blame. kinda like having a ventriloquist asshole! They have these, they are called dogs. If guys place a pronounced presence in the room, they stand up and take the credit. Chickies always want to allay suspicion by blaming it on the dog. That is why girls never fart on the plane, no dog to blame. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites riddler 0 #21 June 27, 2003 I've always wanted a micro-cool. Like a microwave, only it makes things instantly cold. Pop that warm beer in the micro-cool, set it to 30 seconds, and viola! Cold drink. Melted ice-cream? No problem with the micro-cool. Also great for parties - stick your drunk friends' underwear in there for lots of good laughs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #22 June 27, 2003 Quotewhat about a discreet electronic monkey spanker? Keep your beeper in your front pocket, set it on vibrate, call yourself a lot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #23 June 27, 2003 QuoteGot any ideas for new inventions? I have been keeping my neighbors cats for 2 weeks while they are on vacation. They wanted me to comb them daily to pick out extra hair and keep their coats shiny and glossy. For my car, I've been using liquid Turtle Wax to keep it shiny and glossy. The technique seems to work for the cats too, but the turtle wax seems to gum up the clothes dryer a little and the tumbling seems to agitate them. It adds to their already distant personalities. I'm looking for an alternative method. Can anyone else recommend a good electric or gas-powered cat polisher? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wmw999 2,534 #24 June 27, 2003 There used to be chillers at the grocery store for wine that did exactly that. You'd put your bottle in, and within a couple of minutes it was nice and cold. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites hookitt 1 #25 June 27, 2003 Yes... but would it freeze your drunk buddies underwear?My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
FallingILweenie 0 #3 June 25, 2003 I want to open a French restaurant that serves German food called Oui Surrender! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 273 #4 June 25, 2003 A packing machine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #5 June 25, 2003 A sober your ass up before the first load pill... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #6 June 26, 2003 QuoteI want to open a French restaurant that serves German food called Oui Surrender! LMAO -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymut 0 #7 June 26, 2003 I just wish I could come up with something to make me rich...or at least enough to work less and jump more. Matt A well-informed person is somebody who has the same views and opinions as yours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #8 June 26, 2003 QuoteA sober your ass up before the first load pill... That's been done. I own stock in the company. It is a packet of powder. Mix it with water and in 15 minutes, if flushes the alchohol from your system. I thought it was a great idea. A drunk in the ER? Someone too slammed to walk a last call? "Here...this one's on me..." Unfortunately, the company isn't doing all that well. My $400 purchase of stock is worth about $12 right now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #9 June 26, 2003 QuoteI always wanted to modify one of those gyroscopic cup holders for your car to one that could be used by the severly balanced deficiencies that I can get sometimes. Keeps from spilling beer on myself and others Take the wiper washer hose off your windshield wiper. Drill a hole in the firewall and pull the hose in and tape it to the steering column. Fill your washer fluid container with beer. When you are driving down the road, put your face next to your steering wheel and press the washer button...a mouthful of beer. Just working with the tools at hand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #10 June 26, 2003 How about something that lets you scratch your balls without everyone else noticing - then again a mechanical arm mounted on your torso reaching to your crotch would just draw attention. Might make you look sexy, who knows.....=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #11 June 26, 2003 QuoteHow about something that lets you scratch your balls without everyone else noticing I like to call these "pants". I wear them over my crotch in public. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #12 June 26, 2003 I'd love a system that would allow car to car messaging via the license plate. It'd give me a chance to tell the guy doing 60 in the left lane to move over before I push his car out of the way... On second thought, that might be a bad thing to have.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #13 June 26, 2003 what about a discreet electronic monkey spanker?Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #14 June 26, 2003 "what about a discreet electronic monkey spanker?" Baggy strides and a Dyson.-------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FliegendeWolf 0 #15 June 26, 2003 QuoteUnfortunately, the company isn't doing all that well. My $400 purchase of stock is worth about $12 right now. I guess the economy is so bad right now that nobody really wants to sober up. A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkySlut 0 #16 June 26, 2003 Genius, my friend... I know this guy that actually had removable covers for the AC unit in his car. He would put his beers in there to keep them cold while he was driving. Too many empties in the car to drive with, you say??? He had that figured out as well. He mounted a tube between the two front seats that went through the floorboards so he could just drop the can through. A car behind them would only think that they had ran over it. Brilliance!!! Talk about a drunk with WAY too much time on his hands. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mrboombosstic 0 #17 June 26, 2003 The first invention is quite noble....however they had a similar cereal called "ka booms". Your name for the product "shits and giggles" isn't to far fetched either...for the first time i ate ka booms...i spent nearly a day on the toilet. OOOOCH Procrastination is like masturbation it feels good while your doing it but in the end you realize your only fucking urself Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #18 June 26, 2003 How about perfect replica androids of ourselves that can go to work for us while we are at the dz? Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #19 June 27, 2003 A Telefartation device: So that you can teleport your farts to other people in the room(or plane) so that they get the blame. kinda like having a ventriloquist asshole! Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #20 June 27, 2003 QuoteA Telefartation device: So that you can teleport your farts to other people in the room(or plane) so that they get the blame. kinda like having a ventriloquist asshole! They have these, they are called dogs. If guys place a pronounced presence in the room, they stand up and take the credit. Chickies always want to allay suspicion by blaming it on the dog. That is why girls never fart on the plane, no dog to blame. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #21 June 27, 2003 I've always wanted a micro-cool. Like a microwave, only it makes things instantly cold. Pop that warm beer in the micro-cool, set it to 30 seconds, and viola! Cold drink. Melted ice-cream? No problem with the micro-cool. Also great for parties - stick your drunk friends' underwear in there for lots of good laughs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #22 June 27, 2003 Quotewhat about a discreet electronic monkey spanker? Keep your beeper in your front pocket, set it on vibrate, call yourself a lot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #23 June 27, 2003 QuoteGot any ideas for new inventions? I have been keeping my neighbors cats for 2 weeks while they are on vacation. They wanted me to comb them daily to pick out extra hair and keep their coats shiny and glossy. For my car, I've been using liquid Turtle Wax to keep it shiny and glossy. The technique seems to work for the cats too, but the turtle wax seems to gum up the clothes dryer a little and the tumbling seems to agitate them. It adds to their already distant personalities. I'm looking for an alternative method. Can anyone else recommend a good electric or gas-powered cat polisher? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,534 #24 June 27, 2003 There used to be chillers at the grocery store for wine that did exactly that. You'd put your bottle in, and within a couple of minutes it was nice and cold. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hookitt 1 #25 June 27, 2003 Yes... but would it freeze your drunk buddies underwear?My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
