softopening 0 #1 June 22, 2003 i think that my teammate is gay! how can i tell? we have been together as a team for nearly six months and i have to be honest his sexuality hasnt really affected his performance in the air - well i dont think so - he sometimes takes a bit longer to climb out than the other teammates but otherwise i think the only other clue is that he doesnt swoop his canopy. im not homophobic but i just feel uneasy around him especially during dirtdives and when we have to share a bunkroom or a shower. dont get me wrong if he was a woman and gay i wouldnt mind at all! what are the signs that i should look for to confirm my fears? should i confront him? please do not send abuse as i am genuinely concerned - this sport forces men and women together in close quarters and i need to know how to keep safe. hugh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #2 June 22, 2003 uh...troll? Seriously, if you're not a troll, you're just a fucking dumbass. --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #3 June 22, 2003 nevermind, you're definitely a fucking dumbass either way. --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tb62871 0 #4 June 22, 2003 Check his tongue... if you see it on a penis . Then you will have your answer. Anyway Who Cares. --TB Welcome my friends to the show that never ends. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
softopening 0 #5 June 22, 2003 i dont think that was called for. i am only trying to ask for help. i thought that these forums where places where like minded people could help each other.... thank you for a pleasant experience particularly the swearing... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
softopening 0 #6 June 22, 2003 hi tb, exactly that is what i am worried about.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #7 June 22, 2003 OK, here's my long reply since you responded! I don't understand how someone can focus on their teammates sexuality when, on a 4 way team, there are so many other things to focus on (gear checks, dive flow, etc etc). If anyone has the problem on your "team", it's you, for thinking that your teammates sexuality could effect his performance. Wake up to reality, bro! Live and let live. If you can give me a few valid reasons as to why your teammate being gay will effect the performance of your team, then I'll apologize for swearing at you. Was that response "nicer". Sorry I'm not very good at sugar coating my feelings. --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tb62871 0 #8 June 22, 2003 That was a joke. (avioding personal attack) The only serious part was the Who Cares. --TB Welcome my friends to the show that never ends. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #9 June 22, 2003 I think another sign to look for, is he a troll perhaps? Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phatcat 0 #10 June 22, 2003 Give him a wink and slap his ass. If he nods and winks back, he's probably gay. If he punches you in the mouth, he's probably not. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
softopening 0 #11 June 22, 2003 well in terms of how he is affecting performance.... firstly i think myself and some other members arent fully concentrating on the task in hand, his moves arent particularly aggressive when we ask them to be and i worry about general team bonding if he gets the wrong idea. this is the first team ive been in and we like to do guy things - you know drink beer and talk about women - he always sits these out, prefering to talk about skydiving. its definately not easy to hold eye contact i keep thinking he might find me attractive. finally he sometimes calls me after the days jumping without really a particular reason. dont get me wrong i quite like that but isnt that strange? Hugh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #12 June 22, 2003 Now wait a second there Josh. The teammate could still be gay and punch him in the face because softlandings could be butt ugly (sorry the pun). Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LouDiamond 1 #13 June 22, 2003 This guy is a TROLL, he has posted more mindless drivel in the womens forum as well. Don't feed him Softopening, my advise to you is take the trolling to Rec.dot or cut the shit. You will win no friends here or last very long on this site if you continue to troll."It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required" Some people dream about flying, I live my dream SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #14 June 22, 2003 um ...YOU COULD ASK HIM! amazing tha tno one ever thinks of that. seriously the only way I can see fearing jumping with a gay guy(an dthis isnt unique to gay men either) is if they are HIV positive or have aids. I wouldnt avoid them but It would be something to think about. if you smack heads there could be blodd transferral. I dont even know if that would cause you to get infected but that would be a fear. (FYI- I HAVE jumped with an HIV postive jumper before so dont flame me on my ignorance)My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
softopening 0 #15 June 22, 2003 hi Lou, im sorry to have offended you. what is a "troll" anyway and what is recdot or whatever? Obviously its not true what they say about skydivers wanting to help each other out is it? Just because my question is a little difficult to swallow you start to insult me. What am i supposed to do - grab hold of the pa at my local dropzone and annouce the same question or perhaps start a rumour that this guy is gay whilst asking someone i know. at least i expected that i could ask awkward questions annonymously and get some help. now i am left out in the cold. i am new to skydiving and i am still learning how to approach people. Hugh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #16 June 22, 2003 QuoteGive him a wink and slap his ass. If he nods and winks back, he's probably gay. If he punches you in the mouth, he's probably not. BWQAAHAHA, now THATS funny! good litmus test for finding the preference of men!My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
softopening 0 #17 June 22, 2003 Thanks jt, good to get some serious replies. i honestly hadnt thought of that aspect though so maybe i should confront him and ask him if he is HIV positive. but this isnt gonna be easy - how did you find out about the guy you jumped with - did you just ask him directly? also one of my other teammates doesnt wear a full face, perhaps i should warn him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #18 June 22, 2003 Boy, I have seen some really dumb posts on dz.com, but this one has got to be the dumbest!!! Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ozthebum 0 #19 June 22, 2003 Quotewe like to do guy things - you know drink beer and talk about women - he always sits these out, prefering to talk about skydiving Damnit, I know what you mean man....I absolutely hate it when someone like talking about skydiving. LOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #20 June 22, 2003 Please Children! DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #21 June 22, 2003 well it was quite obvious of his preference. I found out he was HIV after our first jump! it was no big deal came up in conversation. our group went up again!My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LouDiamond 1 #22 June 22, 2003 Quoteim sorry to have offended you You did not offend me but it is obvious what you are trying to do. Quoteanyway and what is recdot or whatever? That is where you CAN post your types of threads. It's called rec.skydiving. QuoteObviously its not true what they say about skydivers wanting to help each other out is it? Just because my question is a little difficult to swallow you start to insult me. Quite the contrary, what seperates this place(dz.com) from the other sites is that we DO help each other out and there is a sense of community here. No one has insulted you or attacked you, as that is against the forum rules and is ANOTHER way to get your self banned. If your question is on the level then I suggest you take a look at the way you word your posts as it appears that you are a TROLL(person who intentionally posts inflamatory statements to get a response). This post and your other post in the womens forum reek of a TROLL. What I am doing is telling you how it is and "helping another skydiver out". If you choose to ignore this advise then I can pretty much guarentee you won't last long in this community."It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required" Some people dream about flying, I live my dream SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma 0 #23 June 22, 2003 Jesus, give the guy a break, he sounds like a newbie with a genuine worry. Okay, maybe some of his questions sound stupid to us because we know that skydiving really is a warm and accepting community that (generally!) doesn't judge people based on preferences, sexually or otherwise... However, Hugh sounds like he's been in his team for a while (six months?) - looks like he isn't about to throw in the towel because of misplaced homophobia, he just needs some advice on how to handle it. Hugh - don't let this abuse put you off our wonderful sport. If I were you I'd ask your friend outright if he has an opinion on homosexuality - if he is a cool guy (gay OR straight - and MOST skydivers are cool ) - he will tell you the deal. If not, maybe you would be more comfortable on another team - every team has a diferent dynamic and it sounds to me like you and your other buddies have a more macho approach than your 'sensitive' friend. And by the way, if I had a cent for every time I heard some 'experienced' skydiver take the piss out of a less experienced newbie (experience meaning time in the sport, not just jump numbers), I'd be a rich woman. Don't rush to criticise someone who is just starting out - remember how YOU felt when things were strange and new to YOU. Cheers, Emma Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #24 June 22, 2003 emma, I m guessing you didnt intend that reply directed towards me! I am not sure if the guy is a troll I think its more along the lines of NAIVE. which I have no problem with! I must admit his post is worded a little strangely, but not everyone has experience with different walks of life! I choose to address this as any post....well thats not true . Im usually a wise ass! I really wonder what the post in the womans forums is about. it sure doesnt put you in a good light softopening there is an edit function (not for zeemax HAHA) you may wanna try to reword your query!My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #25 June 22, 2003 Quotewhat are the signs that i should look for to confirm my fears? Waking up and finding him licking your balls. Quoteshould i confront him? Only if you object. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
