bvsdjumper 0 #1 June 20, 2003 Duct Tape Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul lumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?" "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show. "Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" (Paul slumps back over the bar again.) "I kicked her in the face." --ArtSky-div'ing (ski'div'ing) n. A modern sport that involves parties, bragging, sexual excesses, the imbibing of large quantities of beer, and, on rare occasions, parachuting from aircraft. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheRus 0 #2 June 20, 2003 Yeah, it's fine, we'll walk down the line. Leave our rain, a cold trade for warm sunshine You my friend, I will defend... and if we change, well, I love you anyway Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tbrown 26 #3 June 20, 2003 A man went to see his doctor about having his penis enlarged. The doctor said, "you're in luck, I was just reading my medical journals about a new technique that uses sections of elephant trunk. It heals quickly and there don't seem to be any rejection problems. We can probably get you set up for it in a few weeks". The guy said that was just great, and a few weeks later had the surgery. The following week the doc removed the bandages and the man was really pleased with his new whopper. To celebrate, he invited a really cute chic from work he'd had on his mind for some time. But just as their dinner arrived, he felt his dick unzipping itself and before he knew it, his organ had reached up to his plate, grabbed the baked potato and vanished back under the table. The poor guy's face went all red and he began to get all sweaty and short of breath. The lady, being a really nice lady, took his hand and said, "please don't be embarrassed, actually I thought that was rather impressive. Could you do that again ?" To which the man blurted out, "Hell no, if that thing shoves another hot potato up my ass, I'll die !" Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bch7773 0 #4 June 20, 2003 LMAO! both of those were great MB 3528, RB 1182 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
