The Lone Ranger

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party.
The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honour of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.
"You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, even more attractive than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. "What is your last request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse,....alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent. Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him
square in the eye and says,
"Listen





very





carefully .......





for





the





last





time .......






I said.....
























"BRING POSSE!"

____________________
Say no to subliminal messages

[Plummet 0]

Little Johnny's teacher was giving the mandatory sex education class. Because Little Johnny was in the class, she was dreading it more than anything else she had ever taught.

The teacher starts by asking the class, "Who knows anything about sex?"

A few hands are raised. Little Johnny is in the back waving both hands excitedly. The teacher knows better than to call on Johnny and calls on Billy instead. "What do you know about sex, Billy?"

"I have a dog and it had 4 puppies. That's what I know about sex."

The teacher told Billy that was very good and looked around the classroom again. Little Johnny is frantically waiving his arms again, but she calls on Becky instead.

"I have a cat and it had 9 kittens. That's because of sex." said Becky.

The teacher continued asking around the classroom until only Little Johnny was left. Unable to avoid it any longer, she cringes and asks Johnny to tell what he knows about sex.

Little Johnny stands up at the front of the classroom and starts his story. "The Lone Ranger is caught in an ambush. To the left of him, 100 indians. To the right of him 100 indians. Directly in front of him, another hundred indians. He checks his ammo and finds out he only has 3 bullets left. Carefully he takes aim to the left. BANG! One shot, down go 100 indians. BANG ! Another shot and the indians to the right go down. BANG ! One more shot and the final 100 indians go down."

And then suddenly, Little Johnny goes back to his desk and sits down.

The teacher, more than a little perplexed, says, "That's a very nice story, Johnny, but what does that have to do with sex?"

Little Johnny stands up and says, "It only goes to show that you don't fuck with the Lone Ranger !!

-Jeff.
http://www.iplummet.com

Common sense and common courtesy are NOT common.