News that should be read

[retreved 0]

Here are some excerpts that i read each week from the Police Log over at The Arcata Eye. Real events, creative writing. Enjoy!

Mark d.

Quote

A hacky sack careened wildly off course, winding up on the roof of a downtown tavern and leading to some measure of consternation.

A powerful set of pit bull jaws roamed freely on Baldwin Avenue.

A 911 communique
Though out-of-breath, managed to say
Between labored breathing
The words he was wheezing:
That Sylvia's moving away.

When the Shoplifter's Handbook is written, it will surely include the helpful caution that hastily-snatched bottles of beer may be moist with condensation and may slip from sweaty palms and drop to the floor causing all kinds of embarrassing noise and unwanted attention. The alleged culprit was cooperative and probably chagrinned.

Some folks adopting a hobby
Might pick something quirky or snobby
One man, not selective
Chose simple invective
Barked loudly downtown in a lobby.

Someone's credit card was used by someone else to fund someone else's online lust life.

Baggy pants, a dog
Though pee hit a wall downtown
It weren’t from the pooch.

A classic barroom brawl ended with someone storming out of the tavern, ripped shirt straggling in the breeze as he charted a wobbly course for the donut shop.

In shadows behind Tavern Row
Some torpid toke-takers gave blow
To nugget-packed pipes
Cops met alleysnipes
And squelched a bowl’s magical glow.

Whose whites are whiter? Whose brights brighter? Tensions in a Union Street laundry room may have bubbled over into fisticuffs. Was no one using all-temper Cheer?

5:12 p.m.
Like Elvis, some buzz-happy boys
In search of prescription-style toys
Went trailer to trailer
Their quest met with failure
So pill pals elsewhere redeployed.

8:37 p.m.
The pill-wanting crew came right back
For a pharmacological snack
At a trailer where perhaps
They sell colorful caps
Turning brains into gray hacky sacks

Comes a time in many a man’s life when there’s no alternative but to kick the car.