DDFreeFly 0 #1 May 31, 2003 Do You Sabotage Relationships? I figured I’d take a poll on this subject to find out if I were the only one. This is a question for guys and girls. I’m really interested to find out what others think or have gone through. I’ve been hanging out with this guy for the last couple of weeks and I really enjoy the time we spend together. Although, sometimes I feel like he may not be as into the time as I am or he thinks that I’m really not into the time. I’ve tried not to think about it too much because I didn’t want to start brooding paranoia (And you know paranoia can destroy ya). Anyway, in my own weird ways, I’ve tried to let him know that I really enjoyed hanging out with him. I have to admit, that I have a really hard time telling guys I like what’s on my mind. I guess I’m a little scared that too much emotional information is going to push them away but then my awkward silence seems to be just as much of a relationship killer because I’ll start to say something and then back off. I guess this can drive a guy or anyone crazy. I spoke to a friend yesterday about what I’ve been going through and he told me that I was sabotaging the possibility of something happening with the guy. Instead of me just being me (the girl that the guy asked out), I’m putting too much thought into the possibilities and doubting the fact that this guy could’ve like me for me and now I’ve probably run him off. And the thing that really sucks is I think he may be totally right. I know that in the past I’ve told myself that I would never let myself get all wrapped up over someone because I didn’t want to deal with any emotional scarring if it didn’t work out. I guess that past train of thinking may still be in the back of my mind and I am sabotaging a relationship unknowingly by analyzing it too much. Who knows? I just hope that the guy let’s me know what he is really thinking if I am being a saboteur. What have some of your experiences been with situations like this? Is the relationship sabotage curable or am I destined to spend my life trying to deflect heartache? ______________________ www. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrose7 0 #2 May 31, 2003 Quote I know that in the past I’ve told myself that I would never let myself get all wrapped up over someone because I didn’t want to deal with any emotional scarring if it didn’t work out. I think that if you put up walls then you can't truly experience love. Even if you get hurt in the end, would you have rather experienced love or never give it a chance to manifest? I find myself putting up walls because I don't want to get hurt, but then I am not really living. I say don't get wrapped up in what could happen, enjoy what is happening. I broke down walls and I got hurt, but at least I know I gave everything I had.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The mind is like a parachute--it works better when it is open. JUMP. MaryRose Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #3 May 31, 2003 Hmm... i seemed to have stumbled into the women only section. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skygal3 0 #4 May 31, 2003 Oh my good God you just described me to a T! Personally, I feel a doubt and I run and I try to push away. I do things that I have no reasoning for, probably so if I break my own heart it will at least be better than someone else breaking it for me. I try to avoid putting pressure at all on anyone else and in the meantime it all builds up on me and I end up exploding...I know what I am afraid of. I was in a serious relationship once, it was filled with a lot of hurt and I did not recognize myself. Coming out of that, finding a big chunk of who I am, I am afraid of losing that and turning back into the person I was. I am also afraid of being hurt again, and afraid that anyone I am involved with will see me as the things my ex used to say to me. Sigh. Cats are so much easier. I think I am also afraid that I do not want something so I end up screwing things up to prove that I do. Just did that one Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #5 May 31, 2003 Ok from a blokes perspective.... We are all guilty of putting up barriers, mainly from events from the past, we all remember the painful parts and try not to get into that situation again, the trouble with that of course, is that it stops you from moving forward and closes doors on future events. I don't have that many morals to speak of, and i tend to be quite a shallow person, but i have never two-timed a woman or hit one, and i tend to play off that a little with my own mind games. I suppose that may come back and bitchslap me one day but there you go.... Sabotage is too strong a word for what you are doing, i think the word careful is more appropriate. I don't think you or Skygirl3 are weird or any different from anyone else, other than the fact that you can openly talk about it here. As for being curable... i suppose thats down to time served with a partner, you can do a lot of time and a lot of things together without too much commitment. By the way...what does the DD in your name refer to ? -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #6 May 31, 2003 Yes, it happens all the time... I see a woman that interests me, and it goes well until she looks at me, and then I open my mouth to say something, thus sealing the sabotage. I don't mean to sabotage. I just ruin it every time... My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #7 May 31, 2003 Does "sabotage" include social incompetence? Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,534 #8 May 31, 2003 Quote Does "sabotage" include social incompetence? [Crazy] Only if you've been given specific lessons in what not to do, and repeatedly do that anyway. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #9 June 1, 2003 well, I usually don't make the same mistake over and over again. I always find new and original ways to fuck things up! I'm creative! Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #10 June 1, 2003 I guess so....I must tend to start before they begin though... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
