TattooedMoFo 0 #1 May 14, 2003 We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the > rules From the male side. These are our rules ! Please note these are > all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE ! > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put > it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching > about you leaving it down. > > 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. > > 1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the > tides. Let it be. > > 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than > Short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that > married > > Women always cut their hair. > > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it > that way. > > 1. Crying is blackmail. > > 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do > not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just > say it! > > 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a > calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. > > 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think > we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look > good with your dress? > > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every > question. > > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's > what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > 1. Check your oil! Please. > > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In > fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. > > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse > to answer. > > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the > ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. > > 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. > > 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it > done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it > yourself. > > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during > commercials. > > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. > > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. > Peach, For example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what > mauve is. > > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. > > 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of > mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. > > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like > nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the > hassle. > > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer > you don't want to hear. > > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. > Really. > > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to > Discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster > trucks. > > 1. You have enough clothes. > > 1. You have too many shoes. > > 1. No NO you really do have too many shoes. > > 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz > together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. > > 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. > > 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape. > > Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch > tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like > camping. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #2 May 14, 2003 Navel lint????????Where'd that come from? ~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #3 May 14, 2003 Quote Navel lint????????Where'd that come from? UUMMMMMMMMM. . . . . Your bellybutton, [duh] ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
highfly 0 #4 May 14, 2003 Are you going to be enforcing these rules at the wiggaz boogie if your going? www.myspace.com/durtymac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #5 May 14, 2003 Quote Quote Navel lint????????Where'd that come from? Do you really sit around...drink beer & talk about your navel lint???????~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TattooedMoFo 0 #6 May 14, 2003 QuoteAre you going to be enforcing these rules at the wiggaz boogie if your going? ' in Germany that weekend so won't be attending, but I do have the other 2 idiots from my trio that make up the TattooedMoFos and tey will be around to enforce. I will send this on to the Wiggaz as well, i'm sure Matt or Rob could make a point about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #7 May 14, 2003 Quote Quote Quote Navel lint????????Where'd that come from? Do you really sit around...drink beer & talk about your navel lint??????? depends on how much beer and if i can see my belly button at the time. Is that not perfectly acceptable conversation?? Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MC208B 0 #8 May 14, 2003 Excellent post, how true! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #9 May 14, 2003 Do you really sit around...drink beer & talk about your navel lint??????? depends on how much beer and if i can see my belly button at the time. Is that not perfectly acceptable conversation??Fine by me.....just curious I guess I can talk about my navel piercing next time I'm drinking~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fundgh 0 #10 May 14, 2003 This really isn't the most important rule!...FUN FOR ALL! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #11 May 14, 2003 Quote This really isn't the most important rule! It's not?? I thought it had a #1 by it. I just found it as being odd...nothing else really bothers me if you're in a good relationship & there's some kind of compromise to go with it! he he~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fundgh 0 #12 May 14, 2003 I think my GF would rather talk about my belly button lint more than I do! ...FUN FOR ALL! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #13 May 14, 2003 QuoteYou have too many shoes. Good luck guys. We can sometimes sell the "too many clothes" thing when they have moved all your clothes to another closet and still can't get into theirs. However, shoes are different. They are like medicine or something. It has nothing to do with the shoe itself. They go shopping to relax, to be in control of choices, to feel like a successful, wary shopper... many things. A $11 pair of shoes is like being on an archeological dig and finding gold coins. The Olympic gold medal of shopping. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #14 May 14, 2003 Quote I think my GF would rather talk about my belly button lint more than I do! Well said...it's all in fun!!!!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #15 May 14, 2003 Quote 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than Short hair. Not true.... The rest, spot on!---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaGimp 0 #16 May 14, 2003 Quote Do you really sit around...drink beer & talk about your navel lint??????? Better then some of the other things we talk about"Professor of Pimpology"~~~Bolas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #17 May 14, 2003 QuoteDo you really sit around...drink beer & talk about your navel lint??????? Mainly what can be done with it. Personally, I am going to knit mine into a nice sweater and mittens for a Christmas gift. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #18 May 14, 2003 Quote Quote Do you really sit around...drink beer & talk about your navel lint??????? Mainly what can be done with it. Personally, I am going to knit mine into a nice sweater and mittens for a Christmas gift. That's a nice gesture!Yuk~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaGimp 0 #19 May 14, 2003 QuoteQuote1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than Short hair. I think that one depends on the woman wearing it"Professor of Pimpology"~~~Bolas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chopchop 0 #20 May 14, 2003 Quote > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. > Really. ahem... as long as it's a short skirt, no underwear, and a revealing top.... chopchop gotta go... Plaything needs a spanking.. Lotsa Pictures Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites