misskriss 0 #1 April 16, 2003 I always thought that ambivalence was the opposite of love. That it basically meant you could care either way..... and then i read the definition. Main Entry: am·biv·a·lence Pronunciation: am-'bi-v&-l&n(t)s Function: noun Etymology: International Scientific Vocabulary Date: 1918 1 : simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action 2 a : continual fluctuation (as between one thing and its opposite) b : uncertainty as to which approach to follow I just realized that I am ambivalent about skydiving. It is something I want to continue and learn how to do yet I am scared to death as well.. Maybe I am too afraid to ever do it on my own but can't give up the feeling of the times I did... ahh well.. excuse my ramblings. Just soul searching.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #2 April 16, 2003 Honey, have you ever done a non-tandem? You have the soul of a skydiver...I hope you don't give up until you give it an honest try.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #3 April 16, 2003 The word you're looking for is "indifference" and even at that, I'm not entirely certain it's the opposite of "love". The fact that you oscillate between wanting and not wanting means that at least some of the time, you're wanting.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #4 April 16, 2003 Have only done tandems....didn't get out of the plane on my level 1....they even took the plane around again for me and I couldn't get out.. I haven't given up completely. I just know that the tandems are a blast....but when it came time for me to be responsible for myself...I couldn't do it. OH Geez......that totally transfers over into my everyday life..wow......psychological breakthrough here.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #5 April 16, 2003 Hey, do you get Skydiving magazine? Read Marianne Kramer's interview in the latest one. She's such a cool woman; I trained at her DZ. She couldn't get out of the plane for half her AFF jumps, and now she's a world-class canopy pilot (and a role-model for a lot of women in the sport). If you dont' get it, I'll copy it and send it to you. Everyone learns differently. I was a perfect AFF student, then completely folded for my first year in the sport. I'd have quit if I hadn't already spent $3,000 on equipment.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #6 April 16, 2003 I don't get that magazine.....That would be really cool if you copied it. Thanks.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #7 April 16, 2003 QuoteThe word you're looking for is "indifference" and even at that, I'm not entirely certain it's the opposite of "love". You are right...it was indifference....a marriage therapist had said that once..that the opposite of love is indifference, because if you hate...you still care.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #8 April 16, 2003 Balking on a jump isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person. It's certainly not the end of a skydiving career. I don't know if you've ever read Jan Meyer's story about her being too scared to jump, but at one point she was, got over it and now, well, she's on the Board of Directors for the USPA and one of the most fearless jumpers I know. Hey, if you want to start being fearless -- be fearless. For starters, dump your cry baby avitar and replace it with a stronger image. Reprogram your mind. If you want to read a book, you might want to try "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #9 April 16, 2003 I have that book..as well as his other one....The Mastery of Love maybe I need to read it again.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #10 April 16, 2003 Also try Skydiving in Eight Days. AFF isn't scary, it's beautiful! PM me your addy and I'll get you that article. Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ron 10 #11 April 16, 2003 Not trying to be a jackass here.....BUT, You have been on this group for some time....You like talking to skydivers....you like being around skydivers...You have done more than one tandem... Guess what? You ARE A SKYDIVER...... You have issues with you confidence....Well quess what? There is one sure way to fix that.. GET OUT AND SKYDIVE!!!!! NOW!!!!! Take charge of your life NOW!!!!!! What are you waiting for????? Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of EVERY virtue at the testing point. -C.S. Lewis To find in ourselves what makes life worth living is risky business, for it means that once we know we MUST SEEK IT. It also means that without it life will be valueless. -Marsha Sinetar So you didn't get out on your AFF. Fall seven times,stand up eight. -Japanese Proverb. And my last one...the one that will piss people off at me... I will have nothing to do with one who blows hot and cold with the same breath. -Aesop Either go and do it...or quit talking about it. Decide if you are going to be a passenger in your life, or a driver. If you are not going to take charge, and control your life...Don't talk about where you want it to go to me....If you are not willing to do SOMETHING to get where you want to go...I don't want to hear anyone cry about not getting to where they want to be. DO AFF...NOW....Or stop...Admit that jumping is not for you, and move on with your life. Nothing wrong with that really....Only thing wrong is to deny what you want do to fear. The worst thing is you die....I would rather die than not live. I hope you took this the right way. Ron"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #12 April 16, 2003 Most fear is fear of the unknown. When you experience fear, don't allow it to me nameless and faceless. When aproaching the door - what are you afraid of? Falling out? Dying? Not dealing with a malfunction? Flying the canopy? All of the above? Write them down. Give them persentages. Train to dispel the fear. Now look at the good stuff. Why do you want to skydive? The people, the view, the vibe? All of the above? Plot them on a graph. Down the left margin, you will have a fear/fun scale. on the bottom you will have nimber of jumps. When you start, your fear will be as high as 90%, your fun as low as 10% when those 2 lines cross, you will be a skydiver. Fear always remains. Fear of failure, fear of losing a student out the door, gear fear. It never quite goes away, even if the fear is simply one of screwing up and looking silly. I'm not a big beleiver in facing your fears. If you're an OK human, that's what counts. Not What you do. Everything else is extra. Good luck, and whatever happens, you're OK. tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #13 April 16, 2003 After I had an accident then a canopy wrap all by jump #26, I quit skydiving. I thought I was one of those people that just shouldn't do it. You know the old saying, "if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you." I don't believe it now, but it was certainly going through my head. And I thought, if I suck this bad at it then as a mom I shoudn't be jumping. So, for 7 months, I sat there, staring at the sky, yearning to go back up again. I missed it and the vibe at the dz so badly. I bugged my friend who got me started in skydiving all the time to tell me about the jumps that he had. And then I found this site and started reading the forums, which made me miss it even more. Finally my friend said to me, "Andrea, just go jump out of the fucking plane. You know you can do it." Everytime I tried to give him an excuse, he would cut me off and tell me the same thing. Then I got pissed at him and had the, "I'll show you!" attitude and I went, and of course I loved it. It took me a long time to get over my fears that I built up in my head all that time, but I just took it one jump at a time, and stayed very conservative. I'm still scared to death of the runway (where I splated-in on my accident) and of people flying too close to me under canopy (you'll never see me on a big-way jump!) but at least I'm able to go out and thoroughly enjoy myself when I head out to the dz now. It only took me about 100 jumps to get to that point! I mean this in the nicest way...just go jump out of the fucking plane! She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,452 #14 April 16, 2003 What Tonto said is absolutely true. You are who you are, and that's what's important. And you're a great person. Have you thought about trying to get an AFF JM who's female, and can afford to spend more time? Sometimes just changing some things about the jump can help. Remember that on an AFF L1 jump, the jumpmasters will hold on to you. They're very very good at staying attached! Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #15 April 16, 2003 Thanks all of you for your posts and the PM's sharing your stories. It makes me feel a lot better about my abilities. You guys are awesome! Ron is right....I need to piss or get off of the Pot. Luna sent me an invitation to hang out at West Point so I'm going to do that. Maybe I just need a change of scenery to start over with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dove 0 #16 April 16, 2003 Holy crud! I never noticed you live in Virginia! You should come out to Skydive Orange and play this summer. We'd have a blast! Oh yeah, and we'd skydive too! I know exactly how you feel. When I first started jumping I'd ache for air all week long and count down the minutes until the weekend when I could go to the dz. Then I'd wake up Sat. morning and be disappointed when the weather was fine and the whole way to the dz I'd hope that something would happen (weather, plane trouble, my car would break down) so I wouldn't have to jump. Made absolutley no sense at all! Completely boggled the shit out of me. Part of me yearned to jump and the other part was completely against it. I think it's natural. Like they say, if you're not scared the first time then there's something wrong with you. All that stuff is pretty much resolved now. The only inner argument I have with myself now is "I can't afford to jump," vs "I can't afford NOT to jump!" Oh, and just to clarify... I had a lot of "ambivalence" on the way to the dz and before I'd jump, but once I got back in the air I was like, "that was awesome! Why in the world was I even remotely hesitant about doing this?!" All the conflict just melted away after the first new taste of flight. Fall in dove. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brokeneagle 0 #17 April 16, 2003 Quote it is something I want to continue and learn how to do yet I am scared to death as well Much empathy, misskriss, it is indeed very hard sometimes to fight the fear that strikes, but have faith in yourself; you know how good it is as a tandem passenger, and so do I; I took 14 tandems before I had the courage to make my first solo jump- afraid of heights all my life to the freezing point, yet knowing up there was where I belonged- you can do it- if this is something you really want you can have it- no matter how powerful the fear seems....and if you think it's good as a tandem, Holy Simolean, wait until you've felt the air on your own- You only have to decide how much you want the sky-Brokeneagle. I'm really very gentle, no matter what my kung-fu teacher says... he is giving me a reputation I do not deserve! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nightjumps 1 #18 April 16, 2003 "Apathy" is the opposite of love. As it is the opposite of hate. "Lack of emotion or feeling." Latin apatha, from Greek apatheia, from apaths, without feeling : a-, without; see a-1 + pathos, feeling "...incapable of being ruffled or roused to active interest or exertion by pleasure, pain, or passion." Now go skydive. ...Bigun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #19 April 16, 2003 Quote ...incapable of being ruffled or roused to active interest or exertion Hello...Hello.. looks like i've just found a new signature line. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #20 April 16, 2003 You would really like it at West Point. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skr 1 #21 April 16, 2003 >I just realized that I am ambivalent about skydiving. Only real skydivers are ambivalent about skydiving. Everybody else is pretty certain how they feel. It's really hard to know, when the scaries rise up, whether to push on through, or listen and back off. Jumping out is a big deal. Watch as the plane gets close to jumprun and the door opens, how people act. Some people are talking and bouncing off the walls and doing all these ritual hand things, others, like me, go inside and get really quiet. OK, my handles are here, the door is there, that group and then that group and then us ... Gathering your being and making 15 or 20 jumps close together is one way to get over the hump. Talking to the right people and getting clearer about whatever your real fears are and then practicing what to do in those situations can help. Sometimes you can do some kind of sports psychology move to get your fears down to their appropriate size, and the good parts up to their appropriate size. My root fear on my first jump was that the harness would come undone and I would fall out. It's now almost 41 years later and I still crank my harness one notch tighter than is probably average because it is reassuring when I'm in freefall to feel that I'm actually wearing a parachute. Jumping out is a big deal. It's mostly worth it though. I'm looking forward to your next set of jump stories. Skr Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LouDiamond 1 #22 April 17, 2003 Kriss, I thought we already had this talk and came to a conclusion over wings and beer, what's up, you forget already? Quote Dove wrote:Holy crud! I never noticed you live in Virginia! You should come out to Skydive Orange and play this summer. We'd have a blast! Oh yeah, and we'd skydive too! I already told her to bring her butt up to Orange and get her groove on Orange style. I think I'm gonna have to drive down and pick her up in order to get her out here"It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required" Some people dream about flying, I live my dream SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #23 April 17, 2003 Quote Kriss, I thought we already had this talk and came to a conclusion over wings and beer, what's up, you forget already? We did..but I was so overwhelmed by your charm and all of the girls in orange shorts that I completely forgot. Quote I already told her to bring her butt up to Orange and get her groove on Orange style. I think I'm gonna have to drive down and pick her up in order to get her out here I think the three of us together would make for some fun...heehee Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
f1freak 0 #24 April 17, 2003 Quote You would really like it at West Point. HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! West Point ROCKS......HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #25 April 17, 2003 You've been telling me that.....can a girl bum a ride? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
