I force God to kill a kitten...

[mnischalke 0]

Seeing the God Kills attachment got me to thinking about a conversation I had with a friend a little while back. How often does a "normal person" take care of business? So, I am posing the question (since the "what hand do you use" poll was already done).

Consider this a behavioral experiment and y'all are my control group.

BE HONEST! And, comment freely on this subject.

mike

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills--You know, like nunchuk skills, bow-hunting skills, computer-hacking skills.

[wmw999 2,453]

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And, comment freely on this subject.

Methinks he's more interested in detailed comments from ladies than from gentlemen

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[Iflyme 0]

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And, comment freely on this subject

No option for us kitten-loving atheists?

[mnischalke 0]

Heaven forbid!

Actually, I expected a little more conversation than what's been had so far--by ladies, gentlemen or hermaphrodites. I mean, damn, we're talking about masturbation here, by god!

I guess that was the second part of what I was looking for: How openly will people talk about killing kitties. Maybe I am a freak after all. I do know that I am not excessive in how many kitties I kill, according to the most up-to-date results. hehee

mike

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills--You know, like nunchuk skills, bow-hunting skills, computer-hacking skills.

[Sebazz1 2]

I am afraid to touch my pee pee. My dead relatives might see me.

[mnischalke 0]

I think I would have to create another poll for that. Maybe that could be a subset to the overall study.

mike

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills--You know, like nunchuk skills, bow-hunting skills, computer-hacking skills.

[riddler 0]

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ladies

A lady would never touch herself in such a manner

Which is why I never really talk to ladies.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[homer 0]

When I first saw the Kill Kittens part I thought you ordered from another dealer other than Square 1. You have all seen there ad in this months Parachutist. To be honest there are two kinds of people, those that admit it and those that lie about it. I used to lie about it and now I admit it I HAVE MASTURBATED for medical reasons of course. I had a count done to determine my verility a year after finishing chemo. I still do it from time to time when my girlfriend gets me going and we cant go all the way with it. There I said it does that make you happy.

CSA #699 Muff #3804

[jraf 0]

It would be relatively tough for a lady to touch her penis, I presume

jraf

Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui.
Muff #3275

[fasterfaller 0]

I am proud to do my part to help keep the cat population in check

[mnischalke 0]

Not like happy in a giddy schoolgirl way, but yes, your candor has created a highpoint in my day. thank you!

I hadn't thot about the parachutist ad. good call though.

mike

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills--You know, like nunchuk skills, bow-hunting skills, computer-hacking skills.

[RevJim 0]

OK, fine. I'm a horny bastard, OK? There, ya happy?

It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

[AirMail 0]

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It would be relatively tough for a lady to touch her penis, I presume

Apparently you haven't seen some of the attachments posted here.

Patrick

--
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
Postal Rodriguez, Muff 3342

[sangiro 26]

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I am afraid to touch my pee pee. My dead relatives might see me

Isn't that why they died in the first place?

Safe swoops
Sangiro

[sunshine 2]

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I am afraid to touch my pee pee. My dead relatives might see me.

Damnit Seb. Does that mean i have to keep touching it for you?

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[AggieDave 6]

You know whats funny, I was thinking about posting a poll like this a few days ago, just never got around to posting it. Thanks for posting, I thought if anything, a post like this would bring a couple laughs for people.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[mnischalke 0]

Quote

a post like this would bring a couple laughs for people.

...as well as the consolation that I am not the only manic wanker out there.

"Tough break for handjob. He was all set to get shipped out on a medical"
"What was the matter with him?"
"He was jerking off 10 times a day"
"No shit, at least 10 times a day"
"Last week he was sent down to da Nang to see the Navy head shrinker. Crazy fucker starts jerking off in the waiting room. Instant Section 8. He was just waiting for his papers to clear division..."

mike

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills--You know, like nunchuk skills, bow-hunting skills, computer-hacking skills.

[quade 4]

THIS is from our good friend April Winchell's web site.

Actually, it's just on her web site right now, the original is from New York Health Systems Auxiliary's "Health Extensions" (717-843-0747, ext. 5683)

Y'all be carefull out there!

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[mnischalke 0]

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The site you just came from is stealing our bandwidth.

mike

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills--You know, like nunchuk skills, bow-hunting skills, computer-hacking skills.

[quade 4]

Wacky . . . it works for me. Give it another shot.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[hookitt 1]

Quote

The site you just came from is stealing our bandwidth.

yep me too, so I copied and pasted this into the address bar.

http://aprilwinchell.com/multimedia/media/mp3/MasturbationTips%2Emp3

edit: This link works the same as the link below.

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[skycat 0]

http://aprilwinchell.com/multimedia/media/mp3/MasturbationTips.mp3

try this one

Fly it like you stole it!

[KawiZX900 0]

i'm getting ready to drop the kids off at the pool...
God is preparing kitty gallows as I contemplate spilling that which is sacred.....

Accelerate hard to get them looking, then slam on the fronts and rollright beside the car, hanging the back wheel at eye level for a few seconds. Guaranteed reaction- Dave Sonsky

[monarch135 0]

ack! the coolest thing about this thread is that somebody said wanker!

[meatmissile 0]

It drops off a bit once you get married . But as a wise man once said: "Don't knock masturbation' it's having sex with someone I love"

--
ZZZzzzz....