kingbunky 3 #1 March 27, 2003 One Star Hangover (*) No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries. Two Star Hangover (**) No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels. Three Star Hangover (***) Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once. Four Star Hangover (****) Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom. Five Star Hangover, (*****) You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now...."Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
falxori 0 #2 March 27, 2003 Quote For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries. thought thats only from the other kind of "high" oh well , i usually skip the one star stage... O "Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpy 0 #3 March 27, 2003 Quote One Star Hangover (*) ..............For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries. But then when you get it after the first bight you seem to start pushing it around the plate... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WILDBILLAQR 0 #4 March 27, 2003 I'm claiming 4 stars. The only resone I'm at work is because I'm covering for my boss! He went to a kegger in Texas!---------------------------------------------- "Thats not smoke, thats BUCKEYE!!" AQR#3,CWR#49 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #5 March 27, 2003 I haven't had a good 5 star hangover since the last time I went to a Pat Green concert. I had between 40 and 45 beers there (estimated by the amount of money spent and how drunk I was). Last 4 star was the night before I left for Spring Break, drank a couple bottles of wine, had about a 12 pack of beer and a splash of whiskey tossed in for good measure.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #6 March 27, 2003 GOOD LORD! How is it you didn't end up in the ER? you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spy38W 0 #7 March 27, 2003 Quote GOOD LORD! How is it you didn't end up in the ER? By exaggerating -- Hook high, flare on time Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MC208B 0 #8 March 27, 2003 ROFLMAO! Now that was funny! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #9 March 27, 2003 So where does "to drunk to drive somebody to the airport so they end up missing their flight" fit in? ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #10 March 27, 2003 Quote By exaggerating Nope. Ask FlyingFerret, he was at the concert with me. Remember, it takes me a 12-pack to get a buzz going, if I want to get drunk I drink a case of beer. Super high tolerance + big body size = ability to drink a lot. In all honesty, I probably should have gone to the ER. Instead I tried to drive home (stupid, very very very stupid). I ended up pulling over after about 10 minutes and slept in my truck on the side of the highway. After all is said and done, that scared me pretty bad (trying to drive), so I don't do it anymore.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoobieCootie 0 #11 March 27, 2003 I was once told that should you have to pull aside and take a nap in your car, make sure that the keys are not anywhere inside. That way the cop can't accuse you of DUI. Any truth? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #12 March 27, 2003 QuoteThat way the cop can't accuse you of DUI. Any truth? I don't know, I'm going to check into that.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #13 March 27, 2003 Friend of mine got a DUI for being in the drivers seat with the keys in the ignition sleeping one off. The court ruled that he was sufficient to say that he was in operational control of the vehicle. On the other hand, I was sleeping one off in the parking lot of a bar and had the engine running to keep the heat on. Cops came up to my window, thanked me for not driving, warned me not to try and took off. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #14 March 27, 2003 Was your friend on the road or in a parking lot? That would and could make a difference.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #15 March 27, 2003 was on the road...probably did make the difference. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viking 0 #16 March 27, 2003 never had a hangover, never been falling down drunk eitherI swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #17 March 27, 2003 Hence the reason your standards for women are too high. Someone needs to take this kid down to TJ!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
