Give me a push (joke)

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the
morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the
door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking
for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is three o'clock in the
morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that"
asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help
him" she asks. "No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is
pouring out!"

Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember
about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped
us" "I think you should help him, and should be ashamed of your
self!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out
into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you
still there"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.

____________________
Say no to subliminal messages

[grega 0]

"George just lucky i guess!"

[MC208B 0]

Damn, that was a sidesplitter!

[DYEVOUT 0]

Loving Husband!

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, ....go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$60,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he asks: "Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?"

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Dammit, I miss the Tit-ee bar thread. . . . . .

----------------=8^)----------------------
"I think that was the wrong tennis court."