airann 1 #1 March 17, 2003 Irish Saint Patrick's Day Toasts - Saint Patrick was a gentleman, Who through strategy and stealth, Drove all the snakes from Ireland, Here’s a toasting to his health. But not too many toastings Lest you lose yourself and then Forget the good Saint Patrick And see all those snakes again. 'Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!' Happy St. Patrick's Day! ~ to someone who committed some small fault 'Tis only a stepmother would blame you.’ of a tall, large woman That's a fine doorful of a woman. of a gossiper She has a tongue that would clip a hedge. on trying to change a stubborn person's mind You might as well be whistling jigs to a milestone. of very bad music Aw, that's the tune the old cow died of. of one who overstays their welcome If that man went to a wedding, he'd stay for the christening. of a talkative person That man would talk the teeth out of a saw. of a clever thief He'd steal the sugar out of your punch. in praise of strong whiskey I felt it like a torchlight procession going down my throat. of bad aim in shooting He wouldn't hit a hole in a ladder. of an unfortunate one He is always in the field when luck is on the road. of very wet weather It's a fine day for young ducks. of someone who always plans carefully If he's not fishing he's mending his nets. An Irish Pub Joke... An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. Each orders a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and land-- one, two, three-- in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another... the Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, grabs the fly between his fingers and shakes him as hard as he can, shouting 'Spit it out, ya bloody bastard! Spit it out!' ~May those that love us, love us. And those that don’t love us, May God turn their hearts. And if he doesn’t turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles, So we’ll know them by their limping. Here's to being single... Drinking doubles... And seeing triple! ~AirAnn~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #2 March 17, 2003 "The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another... the Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow." After quaffing the Englishman's pint with glee! NacDave tilts his brimming glass of Guiness in the direction of Texas, the home of his favorite crazy gal and her house of hounds... Slainte.Happy Paddies day Ann. -------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airann 1 #3 March 17, 2003 How in the hell did I know you would pick up on that one??? LOL, I love you man.!!! Being a shot of Scotch and mostly Irish, maybe I come and tour the place sometime. edit- There are good ships, and there are wood ships, The ships that sail the sea. But the best ships, are friendships, And may they always be. ~AirAnn~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skygod7777 0 #4 March 17, 2003 hehe, i didn't even know it was st. patricks day untill someone told me at school (where i'm at now). i need to pay more attention to the date.later Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brucewayne 0 #5 March 17, 2003 May the luck of the Irish be yours today Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JMMarich 0 #6 March 17, 2003 Oh man. I hate St Patricks day. I went to Ireland a year or so ago so every time this holiday comes around, I miss Ireland. May the Guiness flow like water! Josh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #7 March 17, 2003 In Ireland, there is a different name for it. A day of drunken trouble-making is not called St.Patricks day. It's called Monday. At the MB reunion party last Saturday night, the band was making leprecaun jokes. So, after some careful preparation using Muff Punch, the Irish contingent, led by Slippy, lined up and mooned the band. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #8 March 17, 2003 An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please." So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one." The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together. The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more. The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died." The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking." Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #9 March 17, 2003 Patrick and Murphy out fishing and the motor packed in on the boat, Patrick says to Murphy what are we going to do now? Murphy say we'll just have to wait for help. After two days they are 40 miles from the coast and come across a bottle, Patrick opens the bottle and out pops a genie who grants them one wish - quick as a flash Patrick says, " Turn the sea into Guinness!" and of course the sea is black with Guinness - Murphy says, " You stupid fool, now we'll have to piss in the boat!" Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #10 March 17, 2003 Now everybody's died so until out tears are dried we'll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we'll drink some more we'll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up and then go drinking once againit's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quatorze 1 #11 March 17, 2003 Quote Here's to being single... Drinking doubles... And seeing triple! Funny, I always thought that it was sleping triple?May the road rise to meet you and the wind be at your back May the rain fall soflty on your fields and the sun warmly on your face And may God keep you in his hands until we meet again (took me too long for that one, I had to keep running to my hall to read the parts that I for got" I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brucewayne 0 #12 March 18, 2003 I never get sick of green beer, it just looks fun when you drink it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brokeneagle 0 #13 March 18, 2003 Erin Go Braugh! (raising mug of coffee in salute-sorry, don't drink alcohol) Blue Skies, Soft landings to all! Brokeneagle. I'm really very gentle, no matter what my kung-fu teacher says... he is giving me a reputation I do not deserve! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
