sfc 1 #1 March 15, 2003 Someone sent this to me and I found it so side splittingly funny that I had to post it. There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GroundZero 0 #2 March 15, 2003 Damn I love the Brits! describes 'em to a tee! (surely the joke was written by one too! What classic humor!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #4 March 15, 2003 CLASSIC LOL!!!__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brucewayne 0 #5 March 15, 2003 "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country"---Mark Twain "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." ---General George S. Patton "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." ---Norman Schwartzkopf "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." ----Marge Simpson "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." ---Jacques Chirac, President of France "As far as France is concerned, you're right."---Rush Limbaugh "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --- Regis Philbin "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."--- P.J O'Rourke (1989) "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." ---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He's French, people!"--Conan O'Brien "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"---Jay Leno "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman "The next time there is a war the loser has to keep France." --Anonymous Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallRate 0 #6 March 15, 2003 Not so much a joke, but still entertaining....clicky FallRate Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #7 March 15, 2003 Everybody sing along... To the tune of "If You're Happy And You Know It, Clap Your Hands" If the markets hurt your Mama, bomb Iraq If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq. If the terrorists are Saudi And the bank takes back your Audi And the TV shows are bawdy, Bomb Iraq. If the corporate scandals growin', bomb Iraq. And your ties to them are showin', bomb Iraq. If the smoking gun ain't smokin' We don't care, and we're not jokin'. That Saddam will soon be croakin', Bomb Iraq. Even if we have no allies, bomb Iraq. From the sand dunes to the valleys, bomb Iraq. So to hell with the inspections; Let's look tough for the elections, Close your mind and take directions, Bomb Iraq. While the globe is slowly warming, bomb Iraq. Yay! the clouds of war are storming, bomb Iraq. If the ozone hole is growing, Some things we prefer not knowing. (Though our ignorance is showing), Bomb Iraq. So here's one for dear old daddy, bomb Iraq, From his favorite little laddy, bomb Iraq. Saying no would look like treason. It's the Hussein hunting season. Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
