mccordia 74 #1 March 13, 2003 Last month, the UN held a worldwide questionnaire. They only asked 1 single question. "Would you please give your honest opinion about the solution to the shortage of food in the rest of the world" There wasn't a single country that could answer the question because: People in Africa had no idea what 'food' meant People in Eastern-Europe had no idea what 'honest' meant People in Western-Europe had no idea what 'shortage' meant People in China had no idea what 'opinion' meant People in the Middle-East had no idea what 'solution' meant People in Southern America had no idea what 'please' meant People in the USA had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meantJC FlyLikeBrick I'm an Athlete? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #2 March 13, 2003 Oooh...Canada and Mexico are gonna feel left out... So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,460 #3 March 13, 2003 QuoteOooh...Canada and Mexico are gonna feel left out... Not to mention Australia and NZ. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blewaway5 0 #4 March 13, 2003 HAhaha, funny, especially because it's basically true Truman Sparks for President Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mccordia 74 #5 March 13, 2003 People in Canada had no idea what the word 'about' maent (now if they had asked what is was 'aboot'....)JC FlyLikeBrick I'm an Athlete? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Keith 0 #6 March 13, 2003 I think Mexico was included in 'Southern America.'Keith Don't Fuck with me Keith - J. Mandeville Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveMonkey 0 #7 March 13, 2003 Quote People in the USA had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant Not true at all !! See attachment ....____________________ Say no to subliminal messages Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mccordia 74 #8 March 13, 2003 QuoteQuote People in the USA had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant Not true at all !! See attachment .... hahaha...great one...:) Everyone in the world has GMT/UK as the center of their worldmap...still get a chuckly every time I see a US world map...gues who they put in the middle..heheheJC FlyLikeBrick I'm an Athlete? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slim 0 #9 March 13, 2003 Quote HAhaha, funny, especially because it's basically true and us Irish were all passed out, so no response from us!!!! >>> A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,460 #10 March 14, 2003 The magic glasses A man went to Japan and bought some super-techno glasses; they provide X-ray vision, and show women naked. Hiram put them on, and immediately began to see all women as naked. Cool. He's delighted. Glasses on, they're naked! Glasses off, clothes are back on! This is just too cool! So, he returns home from Japan, anxious to show these to his wife. On the plane, he's pumped -- all the stewardesses are naked. When he gets home, he puts the glasses on before going inside, so he can see his wife naked. He opens the door, and there's his wife Mary sitting with one of his friends. Both naked. He takes the glasses off -- both naked. Puts them back on -- both naked. Off -- naked On -- naked Finally, he throws them on the ground. Shit -- this cheap crap is already broken!There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #11 March 14, 2003 Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up rugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday." Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles and told them the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" the judge said to the second boy. "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?" "Well, I used a similar approach. I also used two circles. I pointed to the small circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison...' " Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #12 March 14, 2003 Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianistlost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a guy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train travailing 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States!" Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
