AggieDave 6 #1 March 6, 2003 Ever have one of those days where all you can do is fart? Fart a lot. Fart a lot of foul farts... Damnit, I'm almost 23, this isn't supposed to be this funny anymore. All day I've been drop'n ass and every time all day I've chuckled. I think I've now realized that parts of my sense of humor has yet to mature past the age of 7.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kmcguffee 0 #2 March 6, 2003 Quote Damnit, I'm almost 23, this isn't supposed to be this funny anymore. I'm 32 and I almost fell out of my chair this evening when my son (age 5) farted at the dinner table. He raised up slightly, let it rip, and never broke a smile or looked up from his plate. "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do." Ben Franklin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
coconutmonkey 0 #3 March 6, 2003 Yeah, like being in an otter going thru 6000ft Hearts & Minds 2 to the Heart- 1 to the Mind- Home of the Coconut Lounge, Spa, & Artillery Range Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChileRelleno 0 #4 March 6, 2003 AH hell dave, I'm going on 35 and farts are still worth a smile or more if their really rank and their also good entertainment when you have a captive audience!Remember, you know your old when your farts are wet and your dreams are dry! ChileRelleno-Rodriguez Bro#414 Hellfish#511,MuffBro#3532,AnvilBro#9, D24868 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jimbo 0 #5 March 6, 2003 QuoteAH hell dave, I'm going on 35 and farts are still worth a smile or more if their really rank and their also good entertainment when you have a captive audience! 32 in two days and I feel exactly the same way. I share my office with a 40 year old and a 37 year old who also find great amusement in a good fart. Seriously, what's NOT funny about a good fart? - Jim"Like" - The modern day comma Good bye, my friends. You are missed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hobbes4star 0 #6 March 6, 2003 i thought i was the only one.if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,452 #7 March 6, 2003 When my son was 7, I asked my mother when the "amused with gross noises and farts" stage ended. She told me "I don't know yet." My brothers were well into their 30's at the time. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #8 March 6, 2003 Quote She told me "I don't know yet." My brothers were well into their 30's at the time That's funny. --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slim 0 #9 March 6, 2003 the sad part is that you started a post about it. the really sad part is that I am sure 90% of the people here have read this!!!! >>> A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #10 March 6, 2003 Farts are a howl, of course until they become visible. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #11 March 6, 2003 The reputation of Dave's Burritto fuelled Botty Burps has already crossed the Atlantic.Fortunately the associated toxic emissions have been dispersed somewhere in the jet stream. -------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #12 March 6, 2003 My kids rate them on a 1 to 10... for the 3- S's Sound Smell Squishiness??? ( i'm glad MOM does the laundry!) ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #13 March 6, 2003 Quote Squishiness??? ( i'm glad MOM does the laundry!) Now, THAT is disgusting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #14 March 6, 2003 Quote Quote Squishiness??? ( i'm glad MOM does the laundry!) Now, THAT is disgusting. No... Disgusting was last Christmas; We're at the Hotel Del Coronado in Dan Diego for X-mas dinner...real fancy...all the in-laws and relatives... Mid-meal, our youngest son thunders out a burp that shakes the glassware...conversation stops...all eyes focus on him... he says- Smokestack's workin' let's check the tailpipe...AND THEN HE DID!!! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skystorm 0 #16 March 6, 2003 Quote Smokestack's workin' let's check the tailpipe...AND THEN HE DID!!! Gene Police: "YOU!! Out of the pool, NOW!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QTPi 0 #17 March 6, 2003 You really don't know just how fortunate you are! And if Dave thinks they're foul, Lord help the ones anywhere in the near vicinity! -- A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. -Oliver Wendel Holmes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #18 March 6, 2003 lol What a way to start the morning.. lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #19 March 6, 2003 Oh, Nacmac knows, we have a handful of jumps together while he was still on this side of the pond. --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ECVZZ 0 #20 March 6, 2003 Quote Smokestack's workin' let's check the tailpipe...AND THEN HE DID!!! ROFLMAO!!!Kids are great!Greg Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suz 0 #21 March 6, 2003 A Pop Off Thread... *giggles* reminds me of our wee little cessana Hey! Anyone know the Fart Poem that Maddy recited in 'In Bed With Madonna'??? Love that poem. I only know the first line...god dam short term memory! Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #22 March 6, 2003 Not the poem Suz is talking about, but in the same vein. Its written in old Scots, if y'all are really nice I might translate it one day for you..Think Gardener Wullie from the Simpsons.... apologies to Robert Burns...... Tae a fart... Oh whit a sleekit horrible beastie Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie Jist as ye sit doon among yer kin There sterts tae stir an enormous win' The neeps 'n' tatties 'n' mushy peas Stert workin' like a gentle breeze But soon the puddin' wi' the sauncie face Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place Nae maiter whit the hell ye dae A'bodys gonnae hiv tae pay Even if ye try tae stifle It's like a bullet oot a rifle Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair Tae try an' stop the leakin' air Shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek Prae tae God it disnae reek But aw yer efforts go assunder Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder Ricochets aroon the room Michty me a sonic boom God almichty it fairly reeks Hope a huvnae shit ma breeks Tae the bog a better scurry Aw whit the hell, it's no ma worry A'body roon aboot me chokin Wan or twa are nearly bokin A'll feel better for a while Cannae help but raise a smile Wis him! A shout wi' accusin glower Alas too late, he's jist keeled ower Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare A dinnae feel welcome ony mair Where e'er ye be let yer wind gang free Sounds like jist the job fur me Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party Ower the sake o' wan wee farty-------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #23 March 6, 2003 BWAHAHAHAHA!! good one, Nacman! Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallRate 0 #24 March 6, 2003 Quote Pffffffrrrrrttt I thought this was going to be another post about the Vagina Monologues, or at least a specific Vagina Monologue. FallRate Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
helicam 0 #25 March 6, 2003 Quote Yeah, like being in an otter going thru 6000ft Try in a JetRanger......confined space just adds to the excitement!! I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
