skymama 37 #1 February 28, 2003 Last night, my son asked me if it would hurt if someone got their big toe shot. (That's not the sappy part, although I do wonder how he comes up with this stuff!) I told him I assumed it would because mine hurt pretty badly when I broke it in my little skydiving accident I had a while back when I tried to kiss the runway. Getting shot is much worse than that! The conversation turned to how badly I messed up my body (lots of road rash and very swollen). He said, "when I came home and saw you, I thought you were going to die." All these guilty thoughts ran through my head about what a bad mother I must be to put fear in my kids like that, it must be stressful for them everytime I go up now, etc, etc. So, I took a deep breath and asked, "did you want me to quit after you saw me like that?" He casually replied, "nope, because you were doing what makes you happy and living your life to the fullest, just like you always tell me to do." Finally, I could smile and exhale. He gets it. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #2 February 28, 2003 That wasn't sappy, skymama - that was cool. I wish my mom was a skydiver.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest #3 February 28, 2003 Very nice...and sweet. "The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
racer42 0 #4 February 28, 2003 I asked my kids the same questions after a pretty bad crash. They said the same thing. Don't ya just love em. Now it's my turn. My oldest diaughter is going on her first DATE tommorrow nite. I'm sure I'll be OK. Deep breathes!!L.A.S.T. #24 Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team Electric Toaster #3 Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor Co-Founder Team Happy Sock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
payback462 0 #5 February 28, 2003 Quote My oldest diaughter is going on her first DATE tommorrow nite BEER!!!!im sure your going to need a few anyway Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #6 February 28, 2003 Quote My oldest diaughter is going on her first DATE tommorrow nite. Polish and oil the gun yet? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
payback462 0 #7 February 28, 2003 dont forget the shovel and the flashlight. theyll never be able to find him Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,534 #8 February 28, 2003 Here are some rules about dating: Daddy's Rules for Dating Rule 1: "My name is MR. (whatever). My first name is SIR" Rule 2: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package-because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule 3: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule 4: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loose that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open-minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place. Rule 5: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, having sex without using a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex with my daughter, I am the barrier and I am the one who will do the killing. Rule 6: It is generally understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only answer I need from you on this subject is "Early." Rule 7: I have no doubt that you are a popular fellow with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule 8: As you stand in my front hallway waiting for my daughter to appear, even if more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful like changing the oil in my car? Rule 9: The following locations are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff t-shirts or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks' homes are better. Rule 10: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule 11: Don't appear at my door for a date with pierced nose, tongue, eyebrow, etc. I will not allow my daughter to date anybody who gives me the creeps. Rule 12: Be afraid. Be very afraid. The voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #9 February 28, 2003 You know your kids show off and tell everyone that their mom skydives!! ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
racer42 0 #10 February 28, 2003 Indeed words of wisdom. And luckily there is a gun show this weekend. I'm sure I can find something in an appropriate caliber or gauge. It just costs so much to have all the markings removed.L.A.S.T. #24 Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team Electric Toaster #3 Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor Co-Founder Team Happy Sock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
racer42 0 #11 February 28, 2003 That reminds me. My youngest wants a t-shirt. So it's off to Go Wear.L.A.S.T. #24 Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team Electric Toaster #3 Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor Co-Founder Team Happy Sock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slim 0 #12 February 28, 2003 HAHAHA I've dated girls with moms like you!!!!! y'all are scarey! <<<>>> A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DTOXX 0 #13 February 28, 2003 My favorite part has to be "Places where there is darkness." My daughter is 15 and my son is 12½. Both have stated that they WILL be going for their first jumps on their 18th birthday... ------- D.T. Holder SIMstudy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jessd 0 #14 February 28, 2003 QuoteHe casually replied, "nope, because you were doing what makes you happy and living your life to the fullest, just like you always tell me to do." AWWWW. That's so cute. Really cool too. Shows he's actually listening when you offer some life advise. How old is he? "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #15 February 28, 2003 He's 11 and wants to skydive. I have a feeling my words of wisdom are going to come back and bite me in the ass with him. I think he's laying the groundwork so I can't get upset when he starts BASE! Quote You know your kids show off and tell everyone that their mom skydives!! It's funny, my daughter, who's 14, wants nothing to do with skydiving or skydivers. She is even happy when the weather sucks too much to jump. She doesn't want to hear about my time at the dz, unless she's around her friends. One day at the end of a jump day she called me from a friend's house and asked about my jumps, and then mentioned that her friend was on the line too. And, a few nights ago, she was im'ing to a boy, and suddenly yelled out and asked how many jumps I have. At least I can help her coolness factor! She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
