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rawgum

how to impress woman?

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hey if you aint figure it out yet, lemmy try an splain it. Be yourself, but not rude. Be smart, not a know-it-all. Be sensitive, not needy. and be proud not egotistical. and if that dont work... burp, fart and tell her to get in the car damnit. ;)

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
>
> Wine her,
> Dine her,
> Call her,
> Hug her,
> Support her,
> Hold her,
> Surprise her,
> Compliment her,
> Smile at her,
> Listen to her,
> Laugh with her,
> Cry with her,
> Romance her,
> Cuddle with her,
> Shop with her,
> Give her jewelry,
> Buy her flowers,
> Hold her hand,
> Write love letters to her,
> Go to the ends of the earth and back for her.
>
>
> HOW A WOMAN CAN IMPRESS A MAN:
>
> Show up naked,
> Bring food.



Oz

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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
>
> Wine her,
> Dine her,
> Call her,
> Hug her,
> Support her,
> Hold her,
> Surprise her,
> Compliment her,
> Smile at her,
> Listen to her,
> Laugh with her,
> Cry with her,
> Romance her,
> Cuddle with her,
> Shop with her,
> Give her jewelry,
> Buy her flowers,
> Hold her hand,
> Write love letters to her,
> Go to the ends of the earth and back for her.
>
>
> HOW A WOMAN CAN IMPRESS A MAN:
>
> Show up naked,
> Bring food.



Oz



Also:

> Keep the toilet cover down
> Spend ridiculous amounts of money in SHOES
> Take out the garbage (usually left 2 inches away from the door and the trash can is right outside of it)

To impress a man: FLASH YOUR BOOBIES.
__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

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This has > failed me: Walk up to her (them) and say, "Hi, my name is _______, I want to meet you." as you shake hands. Ok, it usually helps if you keep eye contact, as you're doing this. Honest, to the point.



Actually, that would work. But you better have something damn interesting to say after that.


Ahhh, but I > have interesting conversation to follow up the introduction...that's the beauty of the aproach. It's usually the case that the girl will bore me with her conversation long before she's lost interest. :S If a girl is intelligent AND has a sense of humor, then I'm surprised.

--Jairo
Low Profile, snag free helmet mount for your Sony X3000 action cam!

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definitely..... have to have the gator..hehehe...It will be funnnnnnnnnn....think Travis will be able to put up with us?? HAHAHAHA:D:D



hehehe, I wonder if Travis could handle the two of us, and then I remember who we are talking about...

The key to walking on water... Is knowing where the rocks are

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Another GREAT line:

You walk up and sniff the air around her "sniff, sniff"

You, "Do you smell something."

Annoyed look on her face.

You, "Because either I crapped my pants or you're hot as shit."

-Doug

What do a condom and a girlfriend have in common?

They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

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I wait until a drunk one thinks I'm cute and then I don't talk a lot and mess it up. Not exactly a strategy, but it works best.

Yeah, this works surprisingly well!! Excessive alcohol, however, isn't necessary when the woman is over 30 & has learned to have the guts to admit that, yes, sometimes she just wants to score too!!:D

>:)
Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------

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HAZARDOUS MATERIALS
INFORMATION SHEET

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
WOMAN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: WO.2
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 lbs, but known to vary fromm 100 to 550 pounds
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has a great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously withour prior warning, and for no known reason.
4. Insoluable in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.

TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one.
So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

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Why are you trying to impress a woman, and what kind of woman is she? Being a Nobel prize winner won't even impress all women (although it'd sure impress me!).



Jimmy Carter? You'd be impressed with Jimmy Carter? Sure, he could build you a nuclear reactor-powered house and feed you all the peanuts you could ever want, but the cost would be so inflated, you could never afford it.

Jimmy Carter joke - Why is Jimmy Carter jealous of the Key Bridge? Because it goes into Rosslyn every night. That could be really funny if you are familiar with the DC area...or Jimmy Carter...or Rosslyn.
Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Reply To
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


definitely..... have to have the gator..hehehe...It will be funnnnnnnnnn....think Travis will be able to put up with us?? HAHAHAHA

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


hehehe, I wonder if Travis could handle the two of us, and then I remember who we are talking about...


hummmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
I'm not sure how to take that....;)
HAVE FUN...
...JUST DONT DIE

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This has > failed me: Walk up to her (them) and say, "Hi, my name is _______, I want to meet you." as you shake hands. Ok, it usually helps if you keep eye contact, as you're doing this. Honest, to the point.



Actually, that would work. But you better have something damn interesting to say after that.


Ahhh, but I > have interesting conversation to follow up the introduction...that's the beauty of the aproach. It's usually the case that the girl will bore me with her conversation long before she's lost interest. :S If a girl is intelligent AND has a sense of humor, then I'm surprised.

--Jairo


You know, it always helps if you bite her ass. Then again the stakes can get rather painful. Watch your ass! ...Literally!

Lisa "Gary's Daughter, Ralph G/F" Coley
For every first... there is a case of beer!

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You know, it always helps if you bite her ass.



Yes, but softly, with a little tongue and a lot of lips. I always refer little nibbles all over to just one big bite. Plus, you want to hurt just enough to get the juices flowing, but not enough to make it unpleasant...

What am I, a bite geek? :S
Freedom -- Expression -- Spirit

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You know, it always helps if you bite her ass. Then again the stakes can get rather painful. Watch your ass! ...Literally!



HAHAHA, I nearly fell off my chair when I read this. I was like "damn, she knows about that??" Then I realized it was you, Lisa...one of my ass biting victims. Although, I bit you a bit harder than most, because you need it rough.

Oh, and...
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softly, with a little tongue and a lot of lips. I always refer little nibbles all over to just one big bite. Plus, you want to hurt just enough to get the juices flowing, but not enough to make it unpleasant...

What am I, a bite geek?



Mikkif, I coouldn't agree with you more! But you're not a bite geek, you're a bite connosseur!

Cheers!

--Jairo
Low Profile, snag free helmet mount for your Sony X3000 action cam!

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But it tasted sooo good!
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no juices flowing

Are you sure, I thought I felt something moist on my lips. Oops, that could've been something else. At least you're missing chunks on both cheeks, I couldn't let you get away without giving you a matching set of buns. Maybe next time I'll lick instead of bite. OK?

Cheers!

--Jairo
Low Profile, snag free helmet mount for your Sony X3000 action cam!

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