Future Inlaws

[freeflyz 0]

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle the future inlaws,Dad and Mom do not like me because i don't have a brand new car,fancy stuff,oh and yeah i only think about skydiving,Is there anything i can do short of telling them to F#@k OFF!!! I need help!!!

[CrazyIvan 0]

Get a shovel, duct tape and a shotgun.

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[wmw999 2,534]

Dress in clean clothes, be polite, be interested in them. They're people like any others. If you act interested in them, and converse with them, then they'll begin to think of you as a human being.

They want to know that their daughter is going to be taken care of and treated respectfully. They have no interest in what you guys are going to do in the bedroom. What constitutes "taken care of" is going to differ from family to family, but seeing her being ignored or being talked down to -- those are things that will get them pissed. Obviously they want to know that she's going to be able to eat and live somewhere that she thinks is OK.

When my son was born, his dad said "I want him to have everything he needs, everything he wants, and everything he might conceivably want." Obviously that's not going to happen, but most parents want that. BTW, "taken care of" doesn't mean that you have to provide everything. Respect goes a long way.

Problem inlaws are the ones who think they're the only ones who can provide that.

Wendy W.
(unsuccessful at being a wife, but a great daughter-in-law!)

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[RevJim 0]

If the future wife accepts it and you, just ignore the inlaws. If she even hints at what they are saying being true, find some new "Future Inlaws".

It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

[TequilaGirl 0]

Treat them how they treat you.......

[jfields 0]

I get along great with my mother in law. (Sadly, no father in law to worry about. Killed in an accident.)

She and I respect each other and try to accept each other's issues. We bought a house 100 yards from hers. She never drops in without calling first. We have our babysitter situation locked up.

I just wish she'd learn how to use a screwdriver, hammer, and put in her own light bulbs.

[skymama 37]

Always take the high road, don't give them any reason to say anything bad about you to perpetuate the image that they have of you. If you treat their daughter well, and see that she's happy and see that you're a good person, they'll eventually come around. Most of all, be polite and respectful.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[freeflyz 0]

If that was the case i would treat them like S$#T,This has been on going for 7yrs,Her father said to me that i was not the type of person that needed to be with there little girl! Her family is well off,me just a poor skydiver in ther eyes! Ivan I'll get the tape you help me get the shot gun!

[JJohnson 0]

Unless they got a shitload of cash that you stand to inherit....fuck em. Get your future wife into jumping and really piss them off.
JJ

JJ

"Call me Darth Balls"

[TequilaGirl 0]

I hope your future wife doesn't allow them to treat you like shit.....I have never let my family be disrespectful to the people I date.......

[CrazyIvan 0]

Quote

... you help me get the shot gun!

No problem

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[freeflyz 0]

No,Not at all,she stands up for me all the time,but i'm just getting sick of going over to her house and getting a pile of crap on me every time!So where do you see youself in 5yrs,my smart ass answer,i see myself with about 10.000 jumps two rigs and a airplane(HEHEHE) He was not happy with my smart ass remarK!

[Viking 0]

[replyHer father said to me that i was not the type of person that needed to be with there little girl!

[Sebazz1 2]

Quote

Get a shovel, duct tape and a shotgun.

Some zip ties can come in handy too !

[wmw999 2,534]

I didn't realize this had been going on for 7 years. Makes a difference. I'd suggest a distance of at least 500 miles.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[freeflyz 0]

Yup,7 wonderful years with my girl and 7 crappy yrs with the inlaws,Man Ivan you really have me thinking,Take them out to the desert dig a hole and throw them in HHMMMMMM.Problem solved!

[Deuce 1]

The inlaws are part of the deal. So long as it doesn't interfere with your relationship with your girl, screw it.

How would she handle it if you said "Sweetie, you go, I just can't take the abuse from your family" How would it go later, when you have a house and you can't have your kids watching you get treated that way, when you won't let them come over on Christmas?

I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

[freeflyz 0]

That is true,but if i don't go her family is going to use that against me! So i go take the abuse and roll out,I just wish we could talk like normal people!

[Snowwhite 0]

When they ask you questions like where do you see yourself in five years, your answer should be 'with a wonderful wife, who loves me for who I am, and me loving her for who she is.' When my future in laws asked me how much money I was paid, I asked them NICELY with a smile on my face and looking them directly in their eyes "Why would you think that would be any of your business?" SMILE they never asked again. We've had a great relationship for 29 years now.

skydiveTaylorville.org
freefallbeth@yahoo.com

[TequilaGirl 0]

Did you mention Zip Ties???????

[happythoughts 0]

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He was not happy with my smart ass remarK!

Serious question. Smartass remark. And there is a communications issue, why?

The old guy is concerned about his daughter. A reasonable expectation. I had the same conversation with a guy my niece was dating. I was concerned that she had a job, he didn't. Apparently, I didn't have your dad-in-law's good social skills either.

Life is a balance. Responsibilities/Happiness. He has figured out that you are a fun guy who makes his daughter happy already. When he asks a serious question, maybe a serious answer would go a long way. Tell him about goals and the path to the goals. They want their daughter and possible grand-children to be housed and fed. Be a bud and talk to him, make him feel a little better. Might help.

[jraf 0]

While CrazyIvan is correct in his approach and I commend him for a clear situational assessment and good judgement....

....dude, it's easy. First of all be yourself. Don't try to please them if you can't. Most important: LAY THE LAW. Tell them that this is the way it is. They don't need to love you, but they should respect you. If they don't respect you, just don't visit them. Base the relationship with them on mutual respect.

jraf

Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui.
Muff #3275

[FallRate 0]

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oh and yeah i only think about skydiving

You might want to let the future's know that you think about their daughter occasionally. You do, don't you???

FallRate

[jlmiracle 7]

Just smile and nod.

I did not like my former monster-in-law. She was evil. It didn't help we lived right next door to them.

Good luck.

Judy

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

[freeflyz 0]

I tell them about the future,but yet he just won't listen,he just runs me over every time i want to talk,You don't say it do it he tells me all the time!It's came to point to where i nod and say your right! I'm just trying to find an angle here! Maybe when we get married he'll change?