Question about relationships? More for married people....

[rhino 0]

#1. Do you just make plans or do you talk to your husband or wife before hand and include them?

#2. Kids college education? If you are saving for it will you allow them to grow up EXPECTING mom and dad to provide for it or will you use your hard earned money you saved to teach them something and or reward them for hard work? As in using it to COME THROUGH for your kids if they earned it come college time.

#3. Do you share your intimate/personal matters with your friends? Or do you maintain privacy in your marriage?

#4. Who do you put first? Your friends or your mate?


Just wondering?


Rhino

[kingbunky 3]

1. depends on what i'm planning. we plan vacations and major purchases together, i figure out lunch by myself.

2. my ex and her parents are saving for the kids.. they live with me so i'm paying now. if they want to go, they'll go.

3. nope. i thinks she talks about personal stuff with her friends though, i guess it's a chick thing.

4. she comes first, that's why i don't spend as much time as i would like at the dropzone.

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[froglady 0]

1. For the most part I plan everything.

2. If I was to have kids, they'd need to earn it.

3. Both. Every once in awhile I need a sounding board.

4. He's first. Thank goodness he loves to jump as much as I do.

FrogLady

[rhino 0]

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1. For the most part I plan everything.

Yes. But do you include him in your plans or do you just make plans say "with your girlfriends" and fill him in later?

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4. He's first. Thank goodness he loves to jump as much as I do.

He's first? What do you mean by that?

[froglady 0]

He's always included. I work 2 jobs, time off is limited, and I want to spend it with him.

When he was injured I didn't jump as much since he couldn't. He's very spoiled, hungry I get him food, doesn't like to drive so I do, I just try to keep his life as stress free as possible.

FrogLady

[freakous 0]

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He's very spoiled,
FrogLady

Ha, that's an understatement. He would be in big trouble if every single again.

[wmw999 2,485]

Well, no longer married, but I was for quite awhile, and I'm still on good terms with the ex
Making plans? Dang, what level of plans require coordination depends on what the two want. Seems like there's always some differences between what I/he "expected" to be consulted on and what actually happened. Gotta live with the differences, because fighting over the past sucks.

College education? We were lucky on this one; but the plan was to save enough to make a state school possible if he invested of his time too, and leave the issue of private up to his resourcefulness.

Intimate/personal? One person's intimate is another's broadcast. Again, gotta agree on what's intimate and what isn't, and don't sweat it too much.

The relationship with the mate should be very important. However, if that means that you should drop any friends they don't like, then there's probably a problem somewhere...

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[steve1 5]

1. I usually talk it over with the Boss first.

2. I've never had the cash to really save much for my kids education. Now that they are both in College they have been borrowing a bunch and we've been coming up with the rest. I figure I'd help them. No one helped me, even though they could have, and I've always wondered why. It took me about 12 years to get through college, because I was broke most of the time.
3. I keep things pretty private.
4. I've always put my wife first.

[rhino 0]

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4. I've always put my wife first.

o.k. 9 times out of 10 what would you choose to do? Go out during the weekend with friends or spend time with your wife?

[jessd 0]

I'm not married. But, in terms of saving for college I would recommend that you do start some sort of college savings plan. There are so many of them out there now. I choose to go to a public university when I went to college, took loans out for myself, and am paying them back by myself. When I first started my parents offered to pay for most of it as I went along, but I declined the generous offer because I knew that it would be financially straining for them. Although it would be nice now not to have those loans hanging over my head.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..."

[billvon 3,031]

Note - I'm not married but Amy and I live together and we've been together for 7 years; longer than most marriages around here.

>Do you just make plans . . .

If the plans affect her, then I talk to Amy beforehand, or during. If not (i.e. it's something I'm doing for work) then I don't.

>Kids college education?

I will save for it and let them know that I will help them through college. No matter how much I end up saving they will still have to put in some money (10%? 20%?) depending on their situation.

>Do you share your intimate/personal matters with your friends?

Depends on the friend. I have some very close friends I would tell most things to; I have other friends that I don't trust with personal stuff.

>Who do you put first? Your friends or your mate?

I haven't really had to make that choice much, but mate if it came down to that.

[Muenkel 0]

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#4. Who do you put first? Your friends or your mate?

Rob,

You're not seriously asking this question, are you?

Your mate should always have a higher priority in your life than anyone else. I am not saying you don't socialize and love your friends and family, but the mate is the top priority.

Just my .02.

_________________________________________
Chris

[rhino 0]

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You're not seriously asking this question, are you?

Just a hypothetical question is all.. This is for someone else..

[skycat 0]

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He's very spoiled,

hehehe....sounds like someone I know

Fly it like you stole it!

[narcimund 0]

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#1. Do you just make plans or do you talk to your husband or wife before hand and include them?

I'll sometimes make plans without talking with my boyfriend, but only if I'm willing to follow through without him. I don't speak for anyone but myself, but I can make opportunities for him and I'm not too bad at predicting what will work and what won't.

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#2. Kids ...

For obvious reasons, this is N/A.

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#3. Do you share your intimate/personal matters with your friends? Or do you maintain privacy in your marriage?

Absolutely private.

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#4. Who do you put first? Your friends or your mate?

My mate is my number one priority, far before all of my friends, my work, my home, my hobbies. That's safe for me to say because he's wholly respectful and supportive of their place in my life. I try to do the same for him.

But our relationship is as a marriage is, or to be more specific, how a marriage would be in an ideal world. We are two people joined as an unbreakable team, taking on the world together.

First Class Citizen Twice Over

[rhino 0]

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joined as an unbreakable team, taking on the world together.

Excellent concept!!!!! That is what a marriage should be..

[judyindeskys 0]

1. We don't include each other in everything. He had his friends and I have mine. We jump together and go to dinner and stuff together, but since all our interests aren't the same, we go our own way sometimes.

2. Our son graduated from PSU in 2001. Luckily investments we made years ago paid for his entire college. We knew he appreciated it and wanted him to be able to not worry about tuition. He worked summers for beer & pool money
3. Nope. Our business.

4. I don't take him for granted. He doesn't take me for granted. He's #1 by a mile!

Jude

[Dumpster 0]

First a very brief history:

My first marriage lasted 12 years, 14 if you include the two years it took to get around to finalizing the divorce. My former and I still get along quite well. My second has lasted, going on four years now.

#1. Depends on what I/we are planning. If I'm going for beers after work, I'll give Sharon a call to let her know, and make sure I'm not needed elsewhere. If I'm planning on spending a Saturday at the dropzone, it gets a little more advance attention. She pretty much does the same. We plan activities together all the time. Friday night is always our "date night". We have gone out for dinner almost every Friday since we started dating.

#2. I have one daughter in college, plus another daughter and a son waiting in the wings. What scholarships and grants don't cover, thier Mom, Sharon and I (try) to cover. I would like to have the resources to pay the full ride, but just don't. All of the kids in my family had to pay our own way. for the same reason.

#3. Intimate and personal matters? Depends on what the specific topic is, and who we're with. Financial and emotional matters, we most likely keep close. Intimately, we have been known to be pretty open with things. Sometimes really open. Like I said, it depends. Some of our very close friends have had alot of fun with us!

#4. Most always, it's each other. But we are understanding when a friend or family member needs something special from one of us.

Easy Does It

[jraf 0]

#1 if you love her inclue her. if you don't include her, get rid of her now

#2 pay for their education. let them expect it. if you don't i won't make them any better, but it might make them worse

#3 marriage is a private issue. very private issue

#4 if you put your friends above your mate, get rid of her now

#5 if you have to ask these questions......run...run for your life....or get rid of her now

jraf

Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui.
Muff #3275

[debonair 0]

Hi Anne!

How are you since Nationals? Art got injured at the 300-ways but he's planning to get back jumping ASAP. Are you and Chris staying out of trouble (yeah, right!)

--- deb

AZChallenger JFTC99/02 GOFAST300 STILLUV4WAY
"It's nothing 1000 jumps won't cure..."
- Jeff Gorlick, Seattle Sky Divers

[deefly 0]

1. I check with my husband first to see if we have anything planned.

2. We plan to save for our kid's college education once we have kids. Every kid needs a little help for there future!

3.Intimate matters are kept private.

4. My husband comes first because you put the ones you love first!

DeeFly

[rhino 0]

Good stuff... Keep the input coming guys...

[Pammi 0]

#1. We always discuss our plans with each other, but not because either of us need approval. Sometimes we do things together, sometimes not, but either is fine. We don't have much of a problem with it now that we're living in a new place where we don't know anyone really and are trying to get our finances back in order. The only social life we really have now is the DZ :)

#2. I hope to help the kids with college as much as possible. If we aren't able to save much, I'll help them pay their loans. I want them to have the best possible future they can have. I will, however, also deal harshly with those screwing away their college.

#3. I share some things with my friends. That would depend on how intimate it was. Merrick and I are both very private people so generally we don't discuss things too deep with others out of respect for each others' feelings. It's prob'ly something to be worked out between the two of you at some point though. I've already told him he's welcome to talk to a girl he's been friends with from childhood about stuff if he wants because I like her, trust her and know she could possibly give another woman's outside perspective to him if he needs it.

#4. My husband will always come first. The ONLY one who will come before him is my children. Always. I will, however, not ask him to give up a friend nor will he ask that of me UNLESS the friend is disrespectful of our marriage. I had a guy friend he didn't care for at all, but we discussed straight off that he had been a friend for several years and would continue to be. Merrick understood that.

I guess we've been lucky. We've not had any real conflicts with these sort of things because we think a lot alike and have similar interests. Honestly, though, it took us a good 6 months to work everything out...to learn each others' boundaries and what was important issues to each other. I've heard before that if it's rough the first year or so, then that's normal and good because you get all that sorted out from the start and can build on it...if it's too smooth, then you're in for some trouble when these things arise later. I believe it.

Pammi

[rhino 0]

Very nice.. Thank you..