the new and improved script for Star Wars

[happythoughts 0]

20 lines from Star Wars that can be improved if you substitute the word 'pants'


1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.

2. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.

3. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally, Commander.

4. These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.

5. I find your lack of pants disturbing.

6. These pants contain the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it.

7. Hans will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!

8. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.

9. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

10. I used to bulls-eye Womp-rats in my pants back home.

11. Governor Tarkin. I should have recognised your foul pants when I was brought on board

12. You look strong enough to pull the pants off a Gundark!

13. That blast came from those pants! That thing's operational!

14. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

15. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.

16. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

17. Yeah, well short pants are better then no pants at all, Chewie.

18. Attention. This is Lando Calrissian. The Empire has taken control of my pants. I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.

19. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

20. You came in those pants? You're braver then I thought.

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

Star Wars Innuendo

Star Wars

"Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
"Luke, at that speed do you think that you'll be able to pull out in time?"
"Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
"You've got something jammed in here real good."
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
"Sorry about the mess..."
"Look at the size of that thing!"
"Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
"She may not look like much, but she's go it where it counts, kid."

The Empire Strikes Back

"I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
"Size matters not. Judge me for my size, do you?"
"There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
"But now we must eat. Cum good food, cumm..."
"That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
"Hurry up, golden-rod..."
"I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"
"Possible he came through the south entrance."
"And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
"Control, control! you must learn control!"

Return of the Jedi

"Hey, point that thing somewhere else."
"I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
"I never knew I had it in me."
"There's good in him, I've felt it."
"Grab me, Chewie, I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost...you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie."
"Hey Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
"Back door huh? Good idea!"
"She's gonna blow!"
"I think you'll fit in nicely."
"Wedge! Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"

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Say no to subliminal messages