DYEVOUT 0 #1 January 9, 2003 Subject: NEVER SAY TO A COP 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grega 0 #2 January 9, 2003 my stomach hurts... "George just lucky i guess!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skeletor 0 #3 January 9, 2003 What's that other one, oh yeah - 13. don't shoot my dog rich Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wlie 0 #4 January 9, 2003 Quote 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. My other ride is the relative wind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveMonkey 0 #5 January 9, 2003 How long before someone posts the "6 foot asshole" joke? ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,444 #6 January 9, 2003 The one really not to try is "wanna see my pictures" while reaching under the seat quickly Wendy W. There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #7 January 9, 2003 That sucks. . . I hope they hang that creep up by the short hairs for that one, but I'll bet he gets nothing. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #8 January 9, 2003 My favorites, that I heard: It's in the glove box with my pistol. (With a $20 folded under his Florida Driver's license) Here, son, let my just pay that fine right now. Have any of you ever had a cop actually take an "instant fine" ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #9 January 9, 2003 Nope, never, all the cops I know would be very very insulted if anyone tried that on them, especially with something as small as a $20. That would be a good excuse to have them sit there, get the drug dog sent over, see if he gets any hits, see if there's anything else to give that asshole in the way of fines...--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
relyon 0 #10 January 9, 2003 QuoteSubject: NEVER SAY TO A COP There's a great Chris Rock skit (he calls it an educational video) called "How To Not Get Your Ass Kicked By the Police". Unfortunately, it won't upload, so I'll try and find a link. Bob Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,991 #11 January 9, 2003 >Have any of you ever had a cop actually take an "instant fine" ? Three. One in Italy, one in Spain and one in Mexico. None in the US though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flash 0 #12 January 9, 2003 O.K. here's one that I actually told a cop "once". So don't try this yourself. It doesn't make them happy!! Hope you have a shitty day! Gravity powered...Air cooled! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
relyon 0 #13 January 9, 2003 "How To Not Get Your Ass Kicked By the Police": http://www.ifilm.com/ifilm/product/film_info/0,3699,2458063,00.html?cch=11 Bob Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #14 January 9, 2003 Quote>Have any of you ever had a cop actually take an "instant fine" ? Three. One in Italy, one in Spain and one in Mexico. None in the US though. I had two in Mexico, there's a word for it, mordida, I think. I was thinking in terms of the US, though. I never saw any economic corruption, but I did see folks that were overly aggressive, or lazy report writers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cop 0 #15 January 11, 2003 LOL!Try sometimes; "Hey, I know my rights better than you!"" I could have some good ones but my english is so bad that I don't even try... "You can call me Mike" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RevJim 0 #16 January 11, 2003 Quote"How To Not Get Your Ass Kicked By the Police": http://www.ifilm.com/ifilm/product/film_info/0,3699,2458063,00.html?cch=11 Bob LMAO!!!! Damn, that's good!It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skycop 0 #17 January 11, 2003 Man that video is fucking hilarious!!! And there is some simple truth to it!! I use it sometimes in training as an ice breaker! "Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unutsch 0 #18 January 11, 2003 i was once caught with 0,6 grams of weed, and as i waited that the cop would give me a ride to the police station for questioning, the truck that drives garbage drove by us, and i looked to the cop and said: "lucky me i get to drive in a police car and not in the back off one of these". i ment it as a joke, sarkasm, but the cop looked very strange at me and asked: "what do you mean????" ofcourse i hadn't replied to such a stupid question made by an idiotic cop... so now when ever i see a cop, the song made by Ice-T "Cop Killer" starts to play in my head Check out the site of the Fallen Angels FreeflY Organisation: http://www.padliangeli.org Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hookitt 1 #19 January 11, 2003 Quote Have any of you ever had a cop actually take an "instant fine" ? --Late post-- Yes I have actually. That used to be common in Montana back when it wa a 55 MPH speed limit. 55 is completely unreasonable so the ticket for speeding was a conservation Ticket. *Failure to conserve a natural resource* (the wording was close to that affect). 5 bucks on the spot! Or if you didn't carry aound any 5's, or your check book, it was 25 bucks mailed in to municipal court. If you were caught at night, you could pay on the spot with 40 bucks. Unless you were going over 75 you were generally left alone. The 55 limit was lifted, and for a couple years, there was no real speed limit during the day. That has since changed. Contrary to popular belief there is now a speed limit in Montana. One day, I was passenger in a car traveling well in excess of 100 and we got pulled over. Now the rest was a fluke. There is no reason we got away with this. The police officer walked up to the vehicle where we were trembling and making sure our hands were in sight, shaking his head and came to the window saying, " WAY way WAY way WAY too fast.....he ran the plates the and the Drivers license. Calmly chewed us out and let us go. I think the Highway patrol officer believed it's ok to drive fast but not wreckless on roads that are sparsley poulated. We lucked out.My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #20 January 11, 2003 Quote Nope, never, all the cops I know would be very very insulted if anyone tried that on them, especially with something as small as a $20. In Costa Rica, it doesn't even take $20 - more like $13 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phatcat 0 #21 January 11, 2003 Quote "How To Not Get Your Ass Kicked By the Police": That was funny as hell! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sarge 0 #22 January 11, 2003 HMMMMMM? ..... Nothing short of covering the costs of extensive legal fees, (to avoid prison), and enough to cover a healthy retirement (since the measly pension I woulda had is now gone), and enough to buy my own DZ since I'd never get anyone to ever hire me again, and maybe a few rigs to keep on hand at vairious other DZs... Wayyy to much for the average violator to afford. I'd definately call out a dog!!!! However, you show me your USPA card... "have a nice day," ...and fly safe.... Ya know, I'm thinking I'd like to flip-off a cop... lets do it??? huh? -- I'm done with the personally meaningful and philosophical sigs!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
