Worst day: My girlfriend was having an affair

[kingato 0]

Ohh Crap. Dated for 15 months, moved in with me for the past 3 and now I found out that she had an affair for the past 7 weeks. She only saw the guy a couple of times but corresponded through email the rest of the time. As soon as I found out, I confronted her and lie after lie she finally broke down. I know people makes mistakes, I have done them myself. Everything that I thought she was is gone. She is a monster.
I already kick her out, she is packing, but is there a way to salvage anything? She is sorry and I know. She was my best friend, at least I thought so. So the betrayal is at two levels.
For those of you that have gone through this, how did you deal with it? If you decided to stay together, did it work? Where you able to overcome all those weird feelings?
Freaking women, can't leave with them, can't leave without them.

[freeflyz 0]

Yeah happened to me once,But we worked it out and still together!Did you ask her why she did it???Maybe you guys need some time apart!

[narcimund 0]

No. Screwing around while seriously drunk MIGHT be a "mistake", but carrying on with a clear mind over a period of weeks is simply betrayal.

You've seen this person's character. She chooses to betray you repeatedly and enjoys it until you force her to admit it. Then she pretends to change her mind. Saying the words "I'm sorry" is a game to her. It's a very clear picture of a sick and abusive person.

Get out. Go find someone who deserves you.

First Class Citizen Twice Over

[jtval 0]

been there once found out months later from her friend who had proof. she still didnt admit it. I tried to stick it out to see if I could forgive her...NOPE! the bitch was gona in 2 weeksa AFTER I found out.
it was on our 1 year annivesary that I that i told her i couldnt stand to look at her! she was still denying it...even after I showed her the proof! BITCH!

My photos

My Videos

[nacmacfeegle 0]

Yup to what Narci says...
If there is no trust, there can be no long term relationship.
Yup it hurts like nothing else to be betrayed, but can you trust her not to put you thru this again?

Cutaway dude.

--------------------

He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson

[cgross 1]

Look. Grap. locate silver.. pull, grab, pull!!!!

I agree with narci here. Even when you confronted her, she wasn't honest, you had to force it out. She knew what she was doing for 7 weeks .

7 WEEKS SHE WAS STABBING YOU IN THE BACK. Kick her out and give her a bitch slap to the back of the head for being so stupid. You desewrve better. If you thought she was the ONE, you were wrong, the ONE would not do that to you.

Chris

[Samurai136 0]

Count your blessings. I've found out after a relationship was over that she was cheating the whole last half.

Some people are players and as soon as they get some security, they start looking to trade up to 'something better'.

You deserve to be treated better, dude.

Ken

"Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian
Ken

[SatchFan 0]

Yup, been there...done that. Haven't been able to trust a woman since. Just accept the fact that ALL women are the same... There is no such thing as "love"...it's all biochemical. Get what you want and leave them. Protect yourself my brother!!!!!

[Casch 0]

I'm so sorry man, that is not fun. It happened to me too. She's a BITCH, she's GONE! I can't understand the mindset of these people that cheat. I have had very strong feelings for another person while I was attached to someone else. And the feeling was mutual. So you know what I did? I told that person how I felt about her, and that I would NOT CHEAT. And that I would talk things over with my current. It turned out that my current was going through the same thing and we had the worlds best break up. It was awesome. We went to DQ, and the movies and a bike ride around town and talked about shit. And we were done. I will NEVER understand how people can screw around with others while they are attached. Hallie Berry could shove her tongue down my throat and I would tell her to hold that thought, proceed to haul ass to my currents house and tell her we're done! Then get it on with Hallie...she so FINE!

Anyway, you definately did the right thing. You will most likely never be able to get rid of that weird feeling. Don't forgive her, you'll burn in.

[Staso 0]

hey, i can relate :)

i found my gf cheated on my a week ago and today is my last day at work. starting
tomorrow i have no job and no gf. well, i'll get another job and another gf.

it sucks dude, but you'll be fine.

cheer up,
stan.

--
it's not about defying gravity; it's how hard you can abuse it. speed skydiving it is ...
Speed Skydiving Forum

[kevin922 0]

Quote

hey, i can relate :)

i found my gf cheated on my a week ago and today is my last day at work. starting
tomorrow i have no job and no gf. well, i'll get another job and another gf.

it sucks dude, but you'll be fine.

cheer up,
stan.

damn.. sounds like a lot of people have gone through the same shit as me.. I lost my job at wcom 4 months ago had to breakup with my GF 4 months ago..

does suck.

[Staso 0]

Quote

does suck.

c'mon, life goes on. weather does not look good this weekend. now, that sucks !

stan.

--
it's not about defying gravity; it's how hard you can abuse it. speed skydiving it is ...
Speed Skydiving Forum

[CrazyIvan 0]

DAMN BITCH!!!

Have a beer, relax, life goes on.

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[wingedmonkey1 0]

Sorry to hear about that, boss. But I, like the others that responded here, have that t-shirt too. And I also have zero tolerance for stuff like that. She knew she was crossing the line and did it anyway. I see no reason to forgive her. I haven't talked to the girl that did that to me in years. And I have no desire to. But, if you're the soft, sensitive type, the least you could do is give her back the knife she's been stabbing you with for the last 7 weeks. She might need it later . Look at the bright side. Going to bars will be fun again!

[Vallerina 2]

My advice to you is to not listen to anyone here. No one hear knows the full story, blah blah blah.

I guess just do whatever you want. Maybe your relationship can survive this, maybe it can't. You could try to work things out, but she might hurt you down the road. You can stop seeing her, but you may regret losing "the love of your life" if that's what she is. Whatever you do, just be prepared to accept whatever might happen.

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[skymama 37]

I think if you both are committed, that the relationship is still salvagable. But, you need to get to the root of the problem of why she chose to be with someone else instead of you. You have to deal with whatever issues you all have, and it may involve going to a counselor. There is also the issue of trust that has been broken. If you stay together, do you think you're going to have feelings of mistrust every time you see her send an e-mail, talk on the phone, or get home later than she intended? You may still love her, but that might be too hard for you to deal with.
I hope things work out for you in whatever way is best for your heart.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[skreamer 1]

How would you feel if you did stay with her? Would you be able to trust somebody who cheated on you for 7 weeks?

Chicks might try to tell you differently but in a relationship there is only one parachute. Whoever uses it first to get out is normally OK, it is the other person who is left to deal with the 'Why wasn't I good enough?' shit when they bounce.

Walk away now with some dignity. Don't take her back or go crawling after her. You didn't cheat on her so why should you accept her cheating on you?

I went through all this four years ago. Hardened me up about a lot of things that I would and wouldn't stand for. But the good news is you will fall in love again (and you would've got to know yourself a helluva lot better through the ordeal you are going through now).
Will

[lucky13500 0]

Don't hate the playa....hate the game.

Move on....time heals....and if that doesn't work the rebound will feel great!

~ it takes a minute to live....but a second to die ~

[jlmiracle 7]

If you can ever trust her again, you might be able to salvage it, but, my experience, once they cheat, they always cheat.

Its funny when married people have an affair and they leave their current spouse for the person they are having the affair with and are just dumbfounded when the person they were cheating WITH cheat on them.

You can do better. Best of luck.

judy

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

[MattM 0]

Cutaway and get a reserve.

Matt

[Vallerina 2]

Quote

Cutaway and get a reserve.

Ick....I hate that expression. There doesn't need to be a back up plan. Being on your own is okay! No reserve is necessary!

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[flyangel2 2]

Being on your own is okay!

Right on sister.

A friend once told me that my standards were too high. Hell, their my standards

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[Vallerina 2]

Quote

A friend once told me that my standards were too high. Hell, their my standards

Exactly! If you are happy on your own, you don't have to settle for less than what you want.

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[rhino 0]

You can still be best friends..

Let her move out...

Find a woman that will be faithfull..

If my woman cheated on me while we were together I could NEVER go back to her.

You don't have to cut the friendship.. But let's be honest..

Only you and her know what happened and why? The question is.. Do you want to forgive her? And will you allways hold it against her?

Personally... I'd boot her ass and not give her the time of day.. She will experience the "don't know what I had until it was gone thing" and want you back twice as bad..

Good luck man,,,, I feel for you...


Rhino

[JDBoston 0]

Without knowing much of anything about the relationship, I think it's likely to be a simple character issue on her part, not a relationship dynamics issue. If you'd been married for 10 years or something, you might have more to talk about. But 15 months and she's doing this shit? Uh-uh.

Bottom line, basically I think there are people you can trust and people you can't. Hey, most people can fuck up once or twice, and that's not always enough to blacklist them for life, but this is different. The lying is the biggest thing. People who lie even when they're caught usually have genuine psychological problems. NB: Sorry to be crass, but I am assuming this whole time that she actually cheated on you w/this guy, not just that she went out for ice cream and flirted with him. It DOES make a difference IMHO.

Anyway, STAY AWAY FROM THIS GIRL!

Joe