Sassy 0 #1 December 4, 2002 Dear ________, I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s)you were disqualified from the competition. Check those that apply...) ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it. ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion. ___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter! ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality. ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself. ___Your legs are skinnier than mine. ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you. ___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing. ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable. ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation. ___You still live with your parents. ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting. ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker. ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long-term partner. ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application. ___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip. ___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time. Sincerely, ______________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #2 December 4, 2002 for the men. Dear_______ I found someone younger! My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #3 December 4, 2002 Wouldn't it be easier to just ask "Can we talk about us?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,485 #4 December 4, 2002 There's a whole book devoted to the subject: How to Dump a Guy Oooh! Oooh! and I even got the clicky link with text something other than the URL to work!!! Wendy W. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy 0 #5 December 4, 2002 Hey....this is not my letter. It was an email I received today. Sassy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #6 December 4, 2002 Quote "Can we talk about us?" "Enough about you....let's talk about me." -Johnny Bravo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #7 December 4, 2002 Quote Hey....this is not my letter. It was an email I received today. Sassy I know that. I've seen it before. I think it is pretty funny. Besides...I know that nothing could come between us. You meant it for that cad JT, right? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gypsy 0 #8 December 4, 2002 If you found someone younger than me you'd be robbing the craddle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #9 December 4, 2002 why would she mean that towards me? lolI am totally innocent My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #10 December 4, 2002 I'll leave THAT to Clay My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy 0 #11 December 4, 2002 Umm..sure...yeah..it's for JT. Sassy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #12 December 4, 2002 Quote There's a whole book devoted to the subject If women want a book about dumping men, try leaving a copy of "Baby Care" magazine on the coffee table before a date. They're liable to leave so fast that there will be skid marks over the shrubs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
outofit 0 #13 December 4, 2002 from a male's point of view that is a little harsh. It is better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #14 December 4, 2002 Quote why would she mean that towards me? lolI am totally innocent Totally innocent? Are you and Kato Kaelin playing a lot of golf? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #15 December 4, 2002 Notice how men don't need a book on how to dump a woman. _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy 0 #16 December 4, 2002 The funniest book I've ever bought was titled "Everything Men Know About Women". I saw it at a store and got kinda indignant about it. I mean...men knowing anything about women. I picked it up to thumb through it and ALL the pages were BLANK!!! I laughed so hard I had to buy it. I've had it for about 15 years now. Sassy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #17 December 4, 2002 kato...um NOT in a million years would I strive to be that freak My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy 0 #18 December 4, 2002 Oh...tttpphhhtttt.....laugh a little with me today. It's just a joke email I got. Sassy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #19 December 4, 2002 i wrote that book under an assumed nameMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #20 December 4, 2002 Quote The funniest book I've ever bought was titled "Everything Men Know About Women". I saw it at a store and got kinda indignant about it. I mean...men knowing anything about women. I picked it up to thumb through it and ALL the pages were BLANK!!! I laughed so hard I had to buy it. I've had it for about 15 years now. Sassy 15 years. Have you finished reading it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #21 December 4, 2002 LMFUCKINAO My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viking 0 #22 December 4, 2002 "I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing." Ok this one piss' me off to no end. I will change your oil once or twice after that i am dragging your butt under that car with me and handing you a wrench.I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #23 December 4, 2002 wiat til they do the same when you want a bj! My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy 0 #24 December 4, 2002 Ewwww....LOL. Happy..I'm a speed reader. Had it done before I paid for itI don't change my car oil and I don't expect the man in my life to. That's what Jiffy Lube is for. Sassy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #25 December 4, 2002 you dont save much money changin your own oil. I have someone else do it!My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
