happythoughts 0 #1 November 4, 2002 A housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted , "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends", "Well what does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "Minnesota Vikings"! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
seedy 0 #2 November 4, 2002 Quote It depends", "Well what does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "Minnesota Vikings"! Then use the shred setting! I intend to live forever -- so far, so good. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dp1l 0 #3 November 4, 2002 A good urban legend from Zimbabwe! After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dp1l 0 #4 November 4, 2002 Once over the hill, you pick up speed. If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. If the shoe fits......buy it in every color. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. Some days are a total waste of makeup. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
