Blondes and stuff

[Sonic 0]

A young blond girl comes back from school. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! That's good, innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blonde?"

"Yes darling, it's because you're blonde."

Next day, the girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! That's good, innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?"

"Yes darling it's because you're blonde."

Next day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming and all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D's at her mum. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?"

"No, darling. It's because you're 21."

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It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone

[Gawain 0]

Nice Joke and funny pics...you know there's a parallel universe where that could be happening right now!!

Here's an oldie but goodie:

A blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day. She's just skating along in her lycra shorts, smiling at everyone, listening to her Walkman. She
decides that she really needs a haircut.

She skates into the first salon she sees and goes up to the hairdresser and says, "I need a haircut." The hairdresser checks her out and says, "OK,
sit down and take off your headphones."

"No way!" shouts the blonde, "If I take off my headphones, I'll die!"

"Then I can't give you a haircut," replies the hairdresser.

So the blonde gets up and leaves and skates further down the board-walk. She sees another salon, goes in, and says to the hairdresser, "I need a
haircut... but you can't take off my headphones or I'll die!"

The hairdresser looks at her a little weird, but says, "OK, no problem. Have a seat." So the blonde sits down and the hairdresser comes up behind her, and when she isn't looking, he rips the headphones off her head. Suddenly the blonde starts choking, and soon turns blue in the face, then keels over and
dies right there in the salon chair.

The hairdresser is a little freaked by this. He leans over and cautiously listens into the blonde's headphones and he hears...

"Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[Kennedy 0]

Why are blondes and beer bottles alike?

They're both empty from the neck up!

ba-dum, tisch

witty subliminal message
Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards.
1*

[Gawain 0]

Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice?

Because it said CONCENTRATE !

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[Sassy 0]

A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But be warned, for if you say something false you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"
The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three" and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.
The redhead stepped up and said "I think I'm the most talented of us three" and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands.
Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..." and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

[rhino 0]

Funny pics..

How can you tell if a blonde had been using a vibrator??


Her front teeth are chipped

What do you call a smart blonde?



A golden retriever..
Rhino

[Stacy 0]

HEY!
i'm blond. i knew my whole alphabet by the time i was 4. I resemble none of those stories!!!

why, oh why, do people pick on us blonds? it just doesn't make any sense.

[happythoughts 0]

"i knew my whole alphabet by the time i was 4"
...and the capitals of all the states by 12. "The Capitol of Florida is 'F' ".
'why, oh why, do people pick on us blonds? it just doesn't make any sense. "
Not to blondes.

[Stacy 0]

that's it, i'm never jumping with you again. see if i let you touch me in freefall again! humphf!

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

that's it, i'm never jumping with you again. see if i let you touch me in freefall again! humphf!

It's ok. I've touched you, the pinnacle of my skydiving career has been achieved, I was giving up the sport now anyway. Besides, if you exit in the group ahead of me, it may not be an option.

[SkyPsycho 0]

whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
a mosquito stops suckin when u smack it..............

and my personal fav.....
what do 747's and most blondes have in common?

black boxes.........

_______________________________
HK MP5SD.........silence is golden

[dove 0]

Quote

...and the capitals of all the states by 12. "The Capitol of Florida is 'F'

LMAO @ happythoughts!

Fall in dove.

[riddler 0]

I have a friend that is a blonde bi nympho (don't ask me how I got that lucky, but it's true). She lost both her front teeth giving her boyfriend a bj. Also true story.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[Sonic 0]

Along with Filadelphia?

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It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone

[quatorze 1]

Quote

I have a friend that is a blonde bi nympho (don't ask me how I got that lucky, but it's true). She lost both her front teeth giving her boyfriend a bj. Also true story.

Umm..................how do you top that?

I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

[Rookeskydiver 0]

you guys are mean but funny

but i admit it, blondes turn me on

PCSS # 1 Rookeskydiver
"Its a Wonka Bar"....."Go ahead Charlie open it, lets see that golden ticket"

[Casch 0]

I don't know if it is coincedince or not, but I have never had a girlfriend with a hair color other than blonde...maybe it's sub concious or something...

[MGSkyFlyer 0]

How does a blonde turn the lights on after having sex?



she opens the car door


hehehe sorry I had to say at least one joke...no offense to the other blondies out there

[Cajones 0]

My girlfriend has green and orange hair... Does anyone know and green and orange haired jokes?

The laws of physics are strictly enforced.

[Kennedy 0]

Quote

that's it, i'm never jumping with you again. see if i let you touch me in freefall again! humphf!

can he still touch you on the ground? >8^)

[had to use my own smiley, there's no evil grin option]

witty subliminal message
Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards.
1*

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

My girlfriend has green and orange hair... Does anyone know and green and orange haired jokes?

(Physical humor) A girl has orange hair with a green stripe. A guy asks "why do you have a green stripe in you hair". She wipes her running nose with her palm and answers "I dunno."