Deuce 1 #26 October 8, 2002 "The wonderful thing about tigras, a tigras a wonderful thing, her head is up in the blue sky, from a plane she's gonna spring!" This is the retard aspect of discussing things on the internet. Without eye-contact and body language we often don't really get each other's point. It's critical to never feel trapped in the relationship. I've been adamant that my wife maintain her credit cards and economic independence. If she wants to bail, she's got her own ability to do so. We could cancel the joint stuff and move right on out. It would be a disasterbut we could do it. My wife and I make about the same amount now, but I've got a significant retirement too. Last year I spent a ton of money learning to skydive and getting into video flying. Now I actually make a little money skydiving, but it will be a few years before I recover the investment. But I'm as happy as I've ever been and I stay in trim to fit in my gear. She thinks its a good deal. But I won't be saying no to her about buying stuff or going on trips in the next year. Pay the bills, save some money, spend the rest.Skydive, drink good booze, get laid! Quote A lot more goes into a relationship than money, but money and money problems can break one up pretty quick. True. Oh, good-golly that's true. Narcimund! Why would the economics of a committed partnership be any different for us? I look forward to meeting you one of these days. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freebird 0 #27 October 8, 2002 I have access to saying "may I have the credit card ?" or money. Reality of it: i I have access to nothing and that is what bothers me. I think its a trust issue. Its not like Im gonna go to the mall and wipe him out. But sometimes I feel like Im a child and hes my parent. Im a full time nursing student and I do not work but I am in school everyday ( like now). I have access to nothing and my life is not so carefree as some people may think Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #28 October 8, 2002 Freebird, clearly I don't know the whole of your story, but that little bit is consistent with wife-beater psychology. Hear me out, please. I came across many guys who beat the crap out of their wifes/girlfriends, and the women felt trapped because they didn't have access to money, credit cards, or a car. After a few years of this, they became psychologically crushed and pretty much lost the ability to be independent. Joint accounts mean sharing, not gatekeeping. I use the electronic banking stuff, too, and like last night I'll go "Uh, honey, did you get some stuff at REI on the 28th?", "Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you...." Keep enough independance that it's clear to both you and your partner that staying together is a choice made from love, not necessity. OK, I'm gonna get some work done.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #29 October 8, 2002 "I, personally, would be extremely happy to hand someone my paycheck and let them deal with it. " *Raises hand* I'll take your money. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #30 October 8, 2002 I like the idea of 3 accounts - a joint account for joint bills and emergencies if one of the two needs cash now and doesn't have any in thier account. Then one account each on the side for each of the pair to spend how ever they choose without having to answer for it. Then again I'm avoiding this whole marriage thing till I can find someone who makes more than I do. Then a single joint account is a-ok with me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jraf 0 #31 October 8, 2002 Well honey, if it's like that now, that's the way it stays till death due you part. I have a joint account - with myself. I have myself to blame if I fuck up. I put money in and I take money out. If I don't like it I can talk to myself jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freebird 0 #32 October 8, 2002 If I won 20 million dollars I bet he would consider a joint account Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #33 October 8, 2002 To each their own. Different approaches work for different people. I personally believe marriage = joint bank account. My boy-toy doesn't write shit down or EVER balance his book. Therefore, I'm fully prepared to take on the finances in our relationship. I'm good at it. The only thing he will have to learn to do is write his shit down, or at least save his reciepts so I can write it down. I think if you're not ready to trust each other with money, you're not ready to trust each other in marriage. Money is the ultimate test! I have a VERY hard time trusting people, so I think if I'd be willing to share a bank account with someone, it says a lot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #34 October 8, 2002 Hell, if you won 20 million dollars, I'd marry ya Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #35 October 8, 2002 As would every other guy on this board - you'ld even be able to give out numbers 'Now Serving' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jraf 0 #37 October 8, 2002 No dear. I would let you buy me things and I'd be your pet, and when you got tierd of me I would have my bank account to use as a consolation. Otherwise I might be left with nothing, nada, zylch. So whin the 20 mil and make me your pet jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #38 October 8, 2002 My mama always said, "You don't marry for the money, you divorce for it." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jraf 0 #39 October 8, 2002 And NO, I still would not marry you. I just don't like institutions. So sue me, my freedom is worth more than a lousy 20 mil. Seriously.jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freebird 0 #40 October 8, 2002 What about life insurance. My hubby has mentioned getting some on me since Im a skydiver.(that is kind of insulting, like degrading my skills( but he has brought it up.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #41 October 8, 2002 I would guess it would only matter if you are contributing income or have debt that is not secured against accidental death. Otherwise give 'im the proverbial bitch slap and make him sleep on the couch for even suggesting such a thing I am sure many would render a sigh of relief to the fact that marriage consellor is not a career that I am seriously considering. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jraf 0 #42 October 8, 2002 Get rid of the old bag. So he want's life insurance now? I'd keep your rig in a vault far away from him! Life insurance, "accidental death" of spouse while skydiving, he and the stripper chick go to Bora Bora. Get rid of hm while you can!!!jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freebird 0 #44 October 8, 2002 I get mad when he watches those murder mysterys its always the husband or wife.***I'd keep your rig in a vault far away from him! *** He does not know about components on a rig (hes not a skydiver). I inspect anal good before I jump it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jraf 0 #45 October 8, 2002 He does not, but for a small fee he can purchase the services of a fallen rigger, and what then? Beware!!!jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BikerBabe 0 #46 October 8, 2002 We have the 3-account thing going on. Actually, 4. We have a joint account for our living expenses, and we each have an individual account. It's working really well that way, especially since we both know exactly how much discretionary $$ we have to spend on things like skydiving, motorcycle racing, gifts, etc. For things like vacations that we are saving for together, we have a separate savings account that we pad with a little each month just in case. As for life insurance, we had a big argument over this before we got married. He was of the mind that I didn't need to be covered by life insurance, because if I died, he could still live well enough without the insurance payout. However, he said he should be covered, since I would have a harder time, especially once we have kids. Argh...to me this is very sexist....I am the exact same military rank as him, and make only slightly less than he does. Why would I have a harder time making $$ if he died? I think this conflict stemmed from our respective upbringings, but needless to say, neither of us have life insurance right now, and we'll both get it when we have kids.Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #47 October 8, 2002 Quote if you want a JOINT bank account you may have to go to amsterdam! it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nws01 0 #48 October 8, 2002 Nice pick WildBlue! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #49 October 8, 2002 "If I won 20 million dollars I bet he would consider a joint account" I would consider a joint account and marriage, but only if you were sincere (and had a cute butt). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freebird 0 #50 October 8, 2002 but for a small fee he can purchase the services of a fallen rigger, and what then? *** Come on. I really do not think or believe another skydiver would fix a rig so the whole thing would go bad . I just can not see someone actually opening the reserve and fucking it up so it would not work for (a small fee). I can't believe that...... not one of our own kind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
