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rhino

You guys are going to think I am nuts!!!

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Give both parents 50-50 custody right off the bat, hello, get the fuck out of my courtroom unless you have iron clad evidence.



Rhino, I can appreciate why you feel this way given your divorce, but this is not a good idea. I volunteer for a women's shelter, and the system is already skewed in the abuser's favor (ex. the abuser can act perfectly calm and rational in the courtroom. The abusee is likely scared to death of the abuser and is emotionally scarred. Who is going to look like the stable parent?). You would be absolutely stunned to hear of how often the system fails the battered ... even when there is no marriage or children. When you add those factors, it gets scary. It is a fact that virtually all batterers also abuse their children, and it is a fact that even after a divorce, the abuser will do anything they can to continue harrassing their ex. Giving automatic 50/50 custody would just make this easier to do.
A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All

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Why aren't there any men's shelters?

Giving 50/50 immediately unless CONCRETE evidence ig given would give the good parents a chance to get their children back. Right now the good parents are locked out by a system that is hell bent on giving custody to women.

I was crucified with NO evidence. That should be ILLEGAL. My son was stolen from me. The fact is if I had 50/50 tomorrow my son would be better off.. I know hundreds of families that are in the same situation as I am.

It needs to be INNOCENT until proven guilty not the other way around..>:(

Rhino

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Why aren't there any men's shelters?



SAFEhouse provides shelter to women and men. However, something like 95% of the people who use their services are women. (You'll notice that aside from saying "women's shelter" I used entirely ungendered language. I will concede that I should not have called it that, either)

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Giving 50/50 immediately unless CONCRETE evidence ig given would give the good parents a chance to get their children back. Right now the good parents are locked out by a system that is hell bent on giving custody to women.

I was crucified with NO evidence. That should be ILLEGAL. My son was stolen from me. The fact is if I had 50/50 tomorrow my son would be better off.. I know hundreds of families that are in the same situation as I am. It needs to be INNOCENT until proven guilty not the other way around..



Rhino, I already told you that I sympathize with your situation. However, what concerns me is the ease with which abusers have access to the abusees and to their children, and the difficulty that battered people already have in making the system work for them.
A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All

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"Why aren't there any men's shelters? "
An interesting fact has surfaced about the shelter thing. When shelters are available, they give women an alternative to violence. Women who are pushed to the brink, take the alternative. It has been shown that the violence rate towards men actually decreases when womens shelters are available. The weird part is that they save mens lives.
They also decrease the non-fatal types of violence that do not appear on police reports. Women striking men is generally under-reported because the physical damage does not require hospitalization.

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>Giving 50/50 immediately unless CONCRETE evidence ig given would
> give the good parents a chance to get their children back.

I think that, if you saw your son beaten, then were required to give him back to the abuser for a week, you would feel differently. We need a court system that can deal with less than concrete evidence. Heck, most cases with really concrete evidence never go to court; they settle because they know that's the best they can do.

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It is a fact that virtually all batterers also abuse their children, and it is a fact that even after a divorce, the abuser will do anything they can to continue harrassing their ex. Giving automatic 50/50 custody would just make this easier to do.



Unfortunately this may happen to me:(. The 50/50 and harassing part is happining now:(

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