Phil 0 #1 October 4, 2002 BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch when he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "Guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's... just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realise that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?'" ... .. .how high can you fly with broken wings ... life's a journey not a destination Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spy38W 0 #2 October 4, 2002 Snopes Sucks.... http://www.snopes.com/sex/caught/pumpkin.htm -- Hook high, flare on time Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ernokaikkonen 0 #3 October 4, 2002 That's hilarious! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pilotdave 0 #4 October 4, 2002 This is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers. GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skitzo 0 #5 October 4, 2002 Damn Pete, How do you manage to always be on top of things?-- "How do you keep your feet on the ground when you know you were born to fly?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #6 October 4, 2002 Quote Snopes Sucks.... Yeah....but if you had ever been to Dacula, Ga you would know why this story is SOOOOOO believeable. Incidently, this 18 year old little redneck girl from there won the HUGE lotto Earlier this year. Something like 60 Million in cash...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
