OK - now my kid's pissed...need opinions

[ECVZZ 0]

My 14 yr old son just told me his Mom's getting him a cell phone. To which my response was "that's fine, as long as you leave it at your Moms when you come home" (50/50 custody - 2 weeks each month).

He said he'll leave it in his backpack, and turned off while at school, although it's against the rules to even have one at school.

I think 14 is too young to even consider having a cell, regardless of when he plans to use it.

Thoughts?

ps- this is the same mother who tries to keep him from even calling me when he's with her.

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[skybytch 273]

Quote

"that's fine, as long as you leave it at your Moms when you come home"

That would've been my response too.

[ECVZZ 0]

Whew! Thanks Lisa. I really need that re-enforcement with this issue. Seems there have been a lot of issues since Barb finally started her "visitation" after all this time. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[misskriss 0]

I agree that 14 is too young to have a cell phone. My 13 yr old daughter wants one.....for what I don't know because she doesn't go anywhere without me..LOL However.....I do think that as they enter their teenage years we should also pick our battles.... Is it really a huge deal that he has one? ......is it affecting him negatively?....I told my daughter that if she really wanted one then she could buy the phone and pay the monthly bill.... she decided it wasn't that great of an idea..

[ECVZZ 0]

I honestly believe my son would get into trouble with one. At school, and otherwise.

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[sar911 0]

Think before engaging mouth!!! He is getting to the age where he will be having more independence. Do you want to provide him with a phone? Tell him that you thought about it and that you will talk to his mom. Then call his mom and ask what rules and expectations she has placed on him having a phone. I presume that that conversation in its self will catch her off guard. There are times coming up in the near future that you may want him to keep in touch or you may want to call him to check up on him. When you are done, set reasonable rules for the use of the cell phone and stick to them. In time he will become more dependant on the phone which as a parent will give you more control.

[AggieDave 6]

I had a pager at age 15, but that's a bit different. As much as I depend on my cell phone, I couldn't imagine not having one, but I don't know about having one at 14...

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[lazerq3 0]

I'm sorry but i grew up with no cell phone!! Theres NO reason a teenager "HAS" to have a cell phone...99% of the time they are by a phone which they can use.....stick too your guns and tell him to leave it at his moms!!!

jason

Freedom of speech includes volume

[sar911 0]

And if you are my age you also grew up without computers. Had pay phone everywhere and you children were safe in a world that has changed!!!

[AggieDave 6]

Remember to be careful, since his mom could use that as fuel to turn him against you. Which would really suck.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[sunshine 2]

I got nothing to say, just wanted to get a post on your thread.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[ECVZZ 0]

Ohhh Dave...you have no idea! She lets him run the "hood" when he's with her, and since I require that he call me once he's home from school, and before he leaves the house after school (to be sure his chores, which are few, and his homework are done, as well as to know where he's at) I am quite the asshole!

I've supported this kid alone since he was 11, with no help (which I wouldn't have wanted), and little visitation from his mother. All the while, paying an extra $200 / month to keep the skank on my medical Ins. Imagine her surprise next month when I drop her!

At any rate, she's done everything in her power to be his "friend" recently, while making me out to be the ass because I'm having to be a parent, and the only discipline in his life!

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[ECVZZ 0]

Sunny you can post on my thread anytime you want. I think you're a sweetheart!

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[sunshine 2]

Quote

Sunny you can post on my thread anytime you want. I think you're a sweetheart!

Awww, i needed to hear that about now.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[misskriss 0]

He may not realize it now, but he will..... structure and discipline are the best forms of love you can show him. I know it has to be hard, but your love for him is evident...taking the "bad guy" role to keep him safe and cared for. It's easy to give in to your child's every whim. Sounds like she is trying to "buy" his affection.

[ECVZZ 0]

Thanks Kris, I really hope so. I've been told that your own kids are strangers from about 13-14 yrs until about 20-21 yrs old, then they come back. I hope with all my heart this is really true. It's so hard to see him gravitate toward his Mom when she's never been there for him before.

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[seedy 0]

Quote

because I'm having to be a parent

But, this is the most important thing you can do for him. He will eventually grow through this and develop his friends, but he will always look at you as his parent and will eventually realize how lucky he was to have a parent who cared enough to set limits and provide structure.

I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

[ECVZZ 0]

Thanks Carl! Again, I really hope so. There's just so much doubt at this point...I've never been here before. Uncharted territory, y'know?

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[AndyMan 7]

A cellphone isn't a pack of smokes. It's not like starting to use one young will put you in an early grave. [1]

There was a time when a family might be lucky to have an electric refrigerator, now many have two, plus a big-assed freezer in the basement. There was a time when a family might be lucky to have a single black and white TV, now most have one in the living room, each bedroom, AND the kitchen.

Likewise, in one generation we've gone from one family having one telephone line to most families having at least two, usually three. When I was a kid (not that long ago) it was the norm for 16 year old girls to have their own phone line.

Cellphones have gotten to the point where they can be cheaper then a land-line. The wireless nature makes them a great safety tool, or at least a big help when the kid misses the school bus and needs to be picked up somewhere.

Just like my grandmother doesn't understand why my parents had 4 tv's, dont' judge your kids adoption of technology by the standards of your own youth.


[1] note that although there are reports radiation from cellphones contributes to brain tumors, these have been wild assumptions at best, and have never been shown to be the case in a laboratory.
_Am

__

You put the fun in "funnel" - craichead.

[ECVZZ 0]

Are you calling me old and outdated Andy??? I'll have you know I resemble that remark, dammit!!! BTW... what's your age?

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[AndyMan 7]

I'm 28.

_Am

__

You put the fun in "funnel" - craichead.

[ECVZZ 0]

And furthermore! I remember when refrigeration was invented dammit!!!!

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[indyz 1]

Speaking as a recent high school student: If he takes that phone to school, it will most likely not stay in his backpack, and it most certainly won't stay turned off. A lot of my friends had cellphones, and they would all mute the ringer and pocket it.

I just got off of the phone with my mom (I'm being sued, yay!). Anyway, she works at a middle school and says that they confiscate any phones that they find. Guess who has to come and claim them?

[skycat 0]

Hmmm...you know I had a few friends in HS with their own phone line, but all of them had to pay for it themselves. I wasn't allowed to have my own phone line, but I did get to have a phone in my room.....well only after I bought it for myself. Same thing if I wanted a TV in my room, which I never had until I got to college and bought one for myself. Guess what that is the TV that is still sitting in my living room. I had a co-worker who was in his 30s and had a 15 yr old daughter she had a cellphone, but she wasn't allowed to have an unlimited one, she had a prepay one and had to buy the minutes herself with her babysitting money.

You know a cellphone may not be such a bad idea especially the prepay kind, it may actually help teach him about money and how to be more responsible. Well that is if he pays for it, but it sounds like she will be paying the bill.

Fly it like you stole it!

[drenaline 0]

I wont be so hard on "as long as you leave it at moms" but I will sure be "you turn it off when with me" except if he's waiting a call from the gf

About school, he must follow the rules, if kids start breaking rules at low age they will continue when old. I hated it when people brought theyr cell to school and even hated it more when it rang. I think that was the only rule I followed in school without complaining.

HISPA 21
www.panamafreefall.com