hollywood squares q&a

[n2skdvn 0]

The Original Hollywood Squares TV Show
>
>These great questions and answers are from the days
when game show
>responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted
and dull as they are
>now. (Peter Marshall was the host asking the
questions, of course.)
>
>Q: Do female frogs croak?
>
>A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under
water long enough.
>
>Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you
should be at least how
>high?
>
>A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
should do it.
>
>Q: True or false - a pea can last as long as 5,000
years.
>
>A: George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
sometimes.
>
>Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you
probably a man or a
>woman?
>
>A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
>Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a
party and you think he's
>really attractive, is it all right to come out
directly and ask him if he's
>married?
>
>A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
>
>Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you
get older?
>
>A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>
>Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to
say "I love you"?
>
>A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple
and a twenty.
>
>Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or
less with your hands
>while you are talking?
>
>A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older
question, Peter, and I'll
>give you a gesture you'll never forget!
>
>Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
>
>A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
>
>Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.
Are you going to get
>any during your first year?
>
>A: Charley Weaver: Of course not; I'm too busy
growing strawberries!
>
>Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>
>A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>
>Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
subjects at nudist camps.
>One is politics. What is the other?
>
>A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>
>Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or
in the closet?
>
>A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe
in the bedroom.
>
>Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
>
>A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>
>Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag
his tail. What will a
>goose do?
>
>A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>
>Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you
give birth to?
>
>A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
afraid of the dark.
>
>Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong
with getting into the
>habit of kissing a lot of people?
>
>A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
>
>Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts
shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"
>What does that mean?
>
>A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.
>
>Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your
body - what is it?
>
>A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly
isn't neglected!
>
>Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more
than 150 pounds?
>
>A: Charley Weaver: A divorcée.
>
>Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
horseradish on his head,
>what was he trying to do?
>
>A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>
>Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time,
your wife or your
>elephant?
>
>A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>
>Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for
its sex?
>
>A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is
up to him.
>
>Q: James Stewart did it over 20 years ago, when he
was 41 years old. Now he
>says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What
was it?
>
>A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.
>
>Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
believes in them and has
>actually seen them on at least two occasions. What
are they?
>
>A: Charley Weaver: His feet.

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[fasterfaller 0]

The good old days of Hollywood Squares .

[SniperCJ 0]

Geez, Ive got tears streaming down my face, that was so funny!

[freeflir29 0]

Thanks dude!! That was awesome. Moodyskydiver needs to read this post.

[nws01 0]

The Original Hollywood Squares TV Show

These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now. (Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.)

Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under
water long enough.

Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you
should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
should do it.

Q: True or false - a pea can last as long as 5,000
years.
A: George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
sometimes.

Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a
party and you think he's really attractive, is it all right to come out directly and ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple
and a twenty.

Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older
question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!

Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.
Are you going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not; I'm too busy
growing strawberries!

Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe
in the bedroom.

Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
afraid of the dark.

Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong
with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts
shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?
A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.

Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your
body - what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly
isn't neglected!

Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more
than 150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcée.

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time,
your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is
up to him.

Q: James Stewart did it over 20 years ago, when he
was 41 years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it?
A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.