Crossroads of time and life

[wceviper 0]

Recently I have been questioning my reasons for recent decisions, and I have been trying to figure out what I want to do in the future. Its been tough, and on my mind a lot. I do a lot of thinking on the road, I drive a lot. Does anyone ever get the feeling they don't know what to do at all? Usually I make my decisions based on knowledge and experience, like anyone does. I have reached a cross road in my life that has me stumped. I will be 24 soon, and want to start building a decent future for myself. Sometimes I feel it’s a good idea to drop everything now and get a fresh start, maybe I can do things better based on previous experience. But then there’s that fear, worse than that first time you jump. That fear of being able to start over, with the economy going down the toilet, I don’t know if I could get a job. I don’t want to quit my current job without lining up something new. Sometimes I just want to be left alone, sometimes I want to take over the world. Real mixed emotions running wild and the only control I have is to stay on my current path, even though I desire so much more. I was always board in school, I always see things way different that other people. And when I explain myself, other people have a hard time understanding what I am trying to say. And I think to myself, am I stupid, or too damn smart for my own good. My brain goes millions of miles per hour. I solve problems by logic first, then ad knowledge. I haven't been challenged in life in a while, until I did my first jump, and that still challenges me, mostly because I haven't pass my L3 yet. I have decided to visit a wind tunnel before I do any more jumps. But skydiving is besides the point. I know I want to skydive, I am just waiting till the time is right. I know I want to move from California, I just don't know where. I know I want to change my career, I just don’t know what else I want to do. I know I am sick of selfish, un-appreciative advantage taking friends and family. I know there are only a few people in my life I can trust, yet I still don't talk to them. I have never been one to make decisions based on emotions. The desions I make will affect other people, should I feel guilty? Should I even give a damn? After all, its my life. I guess I want to be fair to everyone, but this time I want to be fair to myself as well. I always make sacrifices for other peoples benefit, I think I am done doing that. I think its time for me to live my life the way I want to and do the things I want to do. I think I will only make sacrifices if it benefits me. Yeah, maybe I am being selfish, Maybe I am being a dumbass, but its time to put a stop to the negative stuff in my life, and its time to start making my future, and its time to stop being intimated by anyone or anything….. Thanks for listening, I just needed to get that out into the open.


-Jason
The world revolves around time and money, and no one ever has enough of both.

You may push me around, but you cannot win!
You may throw me down, but i'll rise again!

[james1010 0]

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The desions I make will affect other people, should I feel guilty? Should I even give a damn? After all, its my life. I guess I want to be fair to everyone, but this time I want to be fair to myself as well.

One of the best changes I ever made in my life was abolishing the notion that I needed to please everyone. At this time in my life my decisions revolve around myself, my wife, my son, and my daughter and that's it. Life has become so much simpler. You cannot possibly be fair to everyone, so be fair to yourself and do whatever it is you feel like you need to do to start enjoying YOUR life.

James

[wlie 0]

Very well put.

[FliegendeWolf 0]

Jason,
While it's true that nobody ever knows what anyone else is going through (after all, a person is shaped by their own experiences), I hear your anxiety. If there is one thing that frustrates me about the human condition, it's that we are always expected to choke down our emotions and pretend that everything's okay, even if it's not. Sometimes I wish that social customs would allow us to be human ... to make mistakes or be upset every once in a while, rather than asking us to be emotionless automatons. From my own experience, it's always the times that I'm most down that I do not feel worthy to talk about my problems with my friends.
Anyway, it may be a big world out there, but you're not the only one whose afraid. Take care of yourself ... time will clarify things for you, and regardless of what happens, you'll be OK.Steve

A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All

[SkymonkeyONE 4]

Need direction? Join the military. Not some candy-ass MOS either; I am talking about action guy jobs. There is a lot to see and do out there in the world. I can't imagine being only 23 years old and worrying about stuff like is concerning you.

Chuck

Chuck

[Jessica 0]

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I can't imagine being only 23 years old and worrying about stuff like is concerning you.

Really? *I* think the early 20s are hell on Earth. At almost 26, I'm only just emerging from a sea of constant panic, wondering with every move I make if I'm FUCKING EVERYTHING UP FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AIEEEEEEEEEEE

Twenty-three is when you set the flavor of your life. A career, house and family? Choose wisely, because if you pick that, it lasts a long time. Or footloose and fancy free for a bit more? And when to stop, if that's what you choose? What about money? What about a 401(k)? Are you jealous of your married friends? Or do you like being single? Do you want to make money, or do you want to have fun? Can you do both? Sometimes it seems impossible.

Yep, I sympathize with wceviper. Keep jumping, pal, cause some days, leaping from a perfectly good airplane is the only thing that's going to make any sense at all.

Skydiving is for cool people only

[quade 4]

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I will be 24 soon, and . . .

Kid, I'd give my left nut to be in your position right now. (You must be having the world's youngest mid-life crisis).

You still have quite a bit of time to decide if you want to take advantage of some really amazing opportunities in life.

Want to fly JETS? Yep, at your age you can still decide that you want to do this and Uncle Sam would even foot the bill.

I kick myself every time I think of how I let that opportunity slip by.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[scottbre 0]

Well apparently the verdict is in:

If you want to be a government tool, now is the perfect time to start.

For rest of us young 20-somethings, I'm going to have to agree with Jessica. Now is the time when we are making the decisions that will shape the rest of our lives. Some people take that lightly. I don't and I don't think Jason does either.

"Your mother's full of stupidjuice!"
My Art Project

[fasterfaller 0]

As robin Williams would say " reality , what a concept " . I think everyone feels the pressure of society to conform to this standard or that standard . Live outside your means and be positive even if you are not happy . My philosophy , live cheap , buy what I want , go where I want , do what I want . Life is too short as it is and why should I do some thing just because it is what you are supposed to do . Enjoy life and do the things that you want to do . Stop letting society tell you what success is and stop feeling guilty when you don't live up to societies expectations . My grandfather worked his whole life to have security in his old age . He died two months after retiring . He had a list of things he had plans of doing in retirement but it was cut a wee bit short . My brother and I both have a copy of the list and we are doing it for him . I would rather live my life now and have good memories of the fun I had for the time in life when my health goes to shit .

[SkymonkeyONE 4]

Rest of your life? I don't think so. As a 23 year old, you could start and finish TWO separate 20 year careers before retirement time. Personally, I don't think any young man has any business worrying about kids, family etc. Hell, most aren't NEARLY grown until at least age 30. I tell you what; strap yourself down that young and you are just throwing your youth away. When I was 23 years old, I had already been to five Central and South American countries, and seven European ones. My only concerns were "where am I going to party tonight" and "wonder how many skydives I am gonna get FOR FREE this weekend?

At 23 years old, you can write your own ticket. As for the "government tool" statement, that's a bunch of crap.

Chuck

[scottbre 0]

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At 23 years old, you can write your own ticket.

This may be true, but there are actually some 23 year olds who are forward enough looking that they want to start developing a career and possibly a family life. There's nothing wrong with that.

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As for the "government tool" statement, that's a bunch of crap.

How is that? In any branch of the military you do what the government tells your superiors to tell you to do. You don't get to say, "Well that's an interesting idea, let's still down and talk about this."

"Your mother's full of stupidjuice!"
My Art Project

[Jessica 0]

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As for the "government tool" statement, that's a bunch of crap.

I agree. I half-regret not doing the military thing myself. My directionless little brother went in at 21, and now he's a confident 25-year-old with career prospects out the wazoo and a basically free college education coming to him. The summers I spent trudging from the car to the office, the office to the car, he was white-water rafting in Iceland. Yeah, overall it was no basket of peaches for him, but I think it's a great path for some people.

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At 23 years old, you can write your own ticket.

I think therein lies the inherent torture. So many possibilities, the world is your oyster, but WHAT IF YOU PICK THE WRONG OYSTER AIEEEEEEEEE

Skydiving is for cool people only

[FliegendeWolf 0]

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Need direction? Join the military. Not some candy-ass MOS either; I am talking about action guy jobs. There is a lot to see and do out there in the world. I can't imagine being only 23 years old and worrying about stuff like is concerning you.
Chuck

---

Kid, I'd give my left nut to be in your position right now. (You must be having the world's youngest mid-life crisis).
You still have quite a bit of time to decide if you want to take advantage of some really amazing opportunities in life.
Want to fly JETS? Yep, at your age you can still decide that you want to do this and Uncle Sam would even foot the bill.
I kick myself every time I think of how I let that opportunity slip by.
Quade

Geez, talk about kicking people while they're down. Aren't people allowed to have rough times once in a while, no matter how old they are? No solution works for everyone. If Jason isn't a military type (God knows I'd make a rotten soldier), then the fact that you guys know what you would do if you were his age is really no help to him. Hell, even if he is a military type, that would be no help to him.

A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All

[skybytch 273]

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Well apparently the verdict is in:
If you want to be a government tool, now is the perfect time to start.

I don't think quade was saying you have to join the military to fly jets... There are other ways to get to the left seat of an airliner besides serving your country. But you're right; why would anyone want to serve their country, grow up a bit, see the world and maybe even learn a trade all at the same time?

Wish I'd been smart enough to do just that when I was younger. Unfortunately for me, by the time I was 19 I was raising a kid and my days of doing whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it were put on hold.

Chuck's right. I still don't know what I want to do with my life (at almost 40!), but I know for a fact that getting tied down with responsibilities before you've had a chance to play really sucks.

[quade 4]

Reminds me of a story.

A man is walking down the street one day and falls into a hole. Trapped, he crys out for help.

A religious man walks by and says he'll pray for him, but obviously that doesn't help the man out of the hole.

A sympathetic man walks by and says he feels the man's pain, but obviously that too doesn't help get the man out of the hole.

Finally an older man jumps into the hole.

"What the hell are you doing?" asks the younger man. "Can't you see we're both down in the hole now?"

The older man replied, "yes, but I've been down here before and I know the way out."

So, when asking about life and being at a crossroads, it might not be too bad of an idea to seek the wisdom of people that have been there and seen where things can lead.

Maybe the military isn't the right place for him to go. Fine. No problem. All I was suggesting was that at his age he certainly has many, many opportunities to look at.

For instance, if I was 23 again, I might consider simply hiking across the country for a year or maybe just becoming a DZ bum for a year and live out of a tent. At my age and with the commitments I have, that's a nearly impossible task, but for him, it's still a very real possibility.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[seedy 0]

I know how you feel, because at that time in my life, I felt almost the same way. And I have to agree with Skymonkey One. I did join the military (course I would have been drafted anyway) and it was the best decision of my life. No worries about what to do for my next four years, got housed and fed, travelled all over the world, and got training for the career that I have been in for the last 30 years. Is the military for everyone - no. But with the different branches of the military, there are many opportunities for most people.

I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

[Zennie 0]

I went through exactly what you're going through, but I was around 30 when it happened.
I had been a practicing attorney for about 5 years. I had reached a point in my career where I had pretty good understandiong about how the legal system really worked. I knew that if I was going to get any further I was going to have to become a political hack (I was working for the Indiana state government at the time) or join a law firm. I'm not the political hack type and I saw the hours law firm attorneys had to work and the positions they had to take. I wasn't really feeling too good about that either.
About that time I was really into computers. And programming was a pretty high-demand field.
So the choice I was faced with was staing in the security of my current career, even if it may be stagnant or crazy, depending on which path I took. Or taking a chance, going to school and doing odd-jobs to at least have some income coming in until i got the skills I needed to get a programming job.
I decided to make the jump. It was very scary, but fortunately my wife supported me in this.
It was a lot of hard work, but now I make a pretty decent living and I'm much happier than I would have been if I stayed in law.
These types of things aren't easy. I just decided I was going to take a chance rather than waking up one morning 30 years down the road and wondering "What if I had...."
Good luck! The best advice I can give is to follow your instincts and do what makes you happy, not what makes you the most money. If you do what you enjoy you'll do it well. If you do well, the money will naturally follow.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[FliegendeWolf 0]

Quade,
I agree with you here.

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So, when asking about life and being at a crossroads, it might not be too bad of an idea to seek the wisdom of people that have been there and seen where things can lead.
Maybe the military isn't the right place for him to go. Fine. No problem. All I was suggesting was that at his age he certainly has many, many opportunities to look at.
For instance, if I was 23 again, I might consider simply hiking across the country for a year or maybe just becoming a DZ bum for a year and live out of a tent. At my age and with the commitments I have, that's a nearly impossible task, but for him, it's still a very real possibility.

It may or may not be that the military is right for Jason. If it is, I certainly wouldn't argue against him joining. I hope that he does find the right path for himself. The only thing I wonder is if he was asking for people's advice with his post or if he just needed to vent. His final sentence:
***
Thanks for listening, I just needed to get that out into the open.

---

Steve

A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All

[Spy38W 0]

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For instance, if I was 23 again, I might consider simply hiking across the country for a year or maybe just becoming a DZ bum for a year and live out of a tent. At my age and with the commitments I have, that's a nearly impossible task, but for him, it's still a very real possibility.

I can really relate to this thread.
I remember back in college a friend of mine spent a whole summer driving across the country with 3 friends and no money. I was always impressed by that, and wish it was something I could do, but I just can't picture it working for me. I'm too shy of a person to be able to make it.

I've thought about becoming a DZ bum, because I love to skydive, and think it would be a great life expierience, but I keep having thoughts go through my mind.. "What will I do with my furniture, my apartment, my bills, my stuff. How will I make money to eat, skydive, live somewhere?"

Sorry, just some (inane?) rambling and thinking publicly...

--
Hook high, flare on time

[bbarnhouse 0]

You friggen crack me up! Why MUST you do anything? Why Must anyone be stuck in a job they hate? I still haven't decided what I want to do or be when I grow up.........but I have had some really interesting careers on my journey.
I will say, the one thing that I wish I would have done was to have joined the Navy and taken the ride at Annapolis........man what a way to see the world and explore all of the possibilities. I chose to swim with dolphin, train other people in health/ fitness,paramedicine, sport medicine, and now a trolly dolly so that I can spend more time skydiving. In the end.....the only limits are the ones that you set for yourself. OH and if you look up on the tool bar you may notice a little red messege!!! LOL

[Deuce 1]

I have a diary entry from when I was 21 that reads like that post.

Get your fricken degree. Get your Master's too. It sucks *ss, it's boring, it does not matter what it's in. It will open doors for you like mad for the rest of your life.

If your record is clear, you can pass a psych and a med screening, you can be a cop in California RIGHT NOW. Forget the crap you see on TV. Being a cop is being a real life hero every day. Yes there are exceptions, and some cops are *ssholes, some priests are pedophiles, and some skydivers are suicidal.

Tough love: Suck it up. It never gets easier, you just get used to it.

If I were your age and single: Join the reserves (any service, Navy for food, Air Force for bases, Army for a black beret, Marines for a cool tattoo)

That will help your desperate directionlessness, and then if you want a cool job where wierd sh*t happens every day be a cop. The pay is real good in Cali, 60-100K with overtime.

Watch Parenthood, the movie with Jason Robards and Steve Martin.

You're in the boat, it's in the water, the water is moving, you might as well paddle and steer, even though you don't know where you'll end up.

I got married when I was your age. That has been the only constant in my life the last 16 years. EVERYTHING else has changed.

Beware of slacking. It's addictive and self perpetuating, but I do know some really happy slackers. It just took them some time to adjust to not having stuff in a consumer society.

I would not be 23 again for anything. (Well, almost anything, but Quade voluteered anyhow)

[moodyskydiver 0]

I understand where you are coming from. Recently I was lost and had nothing going for me. My fiance, whom I loved dearly, hurt me terribly and left me.I quit college not once, but twice. I struggled through a sea of debt and lost my job.

You can ask any of these guys on here how screwed up I was. But I finally decided to stop the "poor little me" crap and do something about my directionless life. I am now going back to college as a Criminal Justice major and will eventually persue my BA. I have now paid off two of the numerous credit cards, with hopes of paying off most of my other debts by the end of this year. And now it looks as if I may be getting a job offer from the sheriff's dept.As soon as I get some cash flowing..I'm going to start AFF again so I can eventually get my USPA.

Only you can live your life, so choose for you,not others.Do what makes you happy. Without happiness,you arent truely living. You are just going through the motions.

This is just my humble opinon. Good luck in all you endeavors!

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[Zennie 0]

Hey Amber, sorry I didn't get back to you.

I'm so glad that things are looking up for you and you're in better spirits.
Always feel free to PM me.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[Scoby 0]

I don't know, I thought my early twenties were the best part of my life (so far). I'm 26 now and I feel like I have to be so focused and responsible. I wish I had started a 401(k) back then and laid off on the credit cards a bit, but I'm now getting my finances in order. If feels great, but it's sad in way, too. I finally feel like an adult. I'm cutting away from the things that are giving me stress (such as my fiance). I'm getting my spending in order (I actually have a skydiving budget, for chrissakes). I'm paying things off. I'm buying a house. I feel like I couldn't just decide to backpack around europe or join the army. I rarely go to clubs anymore. I'm bored with drugs. Jumping out of planes is the one thing keeping me sane.

[CanuckInUSA 0]

Finding oneself at a crossroad in life is normal, so don't beat yourself up over it. At some point you will decided what road to take, but in the meantime there's nothing wrong with taking some time off to collect yourself.
In November of 1989 at the age of 26, I was working for a small struggling startup computer software company who could hardly pay my salary and at the same time I was getting over a failed relationship. I was also a weekend volunteer ski patroller and low and behold there was one opening for a full-time pro ski patroller at the resort I worked at. For a few minutes I went through the usual thoughts of "I'm a software developer, not a ski bum". But luckily, I took a chance and accepted ski patrollers job (which paid crap compared to the computer job). But that turned out to be the best winter of my life and to this day I can still remember riding the chairlifts thinking to myself, "I could be stuck behind some desk right now, but instead I'm basking in the sun trying to decide what run to ski next".
Wow ... what a winter that was. It was also the year that I became a real skier (it's hard not to get better when you ski seven days a week for five months). But more importantly it taught me to have a little fun yet still be accountable for some responsibilities and it did wonders for my mind and soul. I went into the winter as someone trying to struggle for an identity and I came out of it with an experience of a life time.
Now if only I could cutaway from my current life and hang at a drop zone all day long.

Try not to worry about the things you have no control over