Letters

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

The last two are good.
..........



> These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils
> and Housing associations throughout the UK:
>
> 1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
> burnt my knob off.
>
> 2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly
> when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
>
> 3. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
> against my fence.
>
> 4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside
> toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that
> blew them off.
>
> 5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from
> the wall.
>
> 6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife
> tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?
>
> 7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50%
> of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest
> are plain filthy.
>
> 8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it
> is cleared.
>
> 9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny
> colour and not fit to drink.
>
> 10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
> pieces.
>
> 11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every
> morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too
> much for me.
>
> 12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which
> is unsightly and dangerous.
>
> 13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and
> would like a third so please send someone round to do something
> about it.
>
> 14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
> please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top
> of me every night.
>
> 15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and
> satisfy my wife.
>
> 16. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times
> but I still have had no satisfaction.
>
> 17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back
> passage has fungus in it.
>
> 18. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I
> just can't take it any more.

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[fasterfaller 0]

Thanks for the laugh .

[moodyskydiver 0]

LMAO!!! Where did you find these?

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

My mother sends me loads all the time. I would post a lot more of them but I'm very restricted at the moment on how much time I get on the net.

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[freeflir29 0]

Silly Brits!!!!