Standing Rib Roast (or "How I went head down")

[Michele 1]

Skybytch and I hook up - she has promised me that she will spend some time with me in the air, teaching me and playing with me. I am ready - this will be the last for a bit, and I want to make some good memories so I can dream about things as I heal...first jump will be a simple 2 way, practicing proximity and redocking, open high and play a bit. ECVZZ hooks up with a person to jump with, Nick by name, and they are working on something as well. Good to go, get geared up, and walk through the exit. All's well, and we hop aboard Shark, and get ready. All the typical fear sets in, but Lisa is there to distract me, and I do really want to fly through the morning sky......the spot is long, so we turn around...there is only one other jumper behind me and Lisa, and she reminds him to let us have lots of time, because there are no uppers. He agrees, and we get ready to leave. I climb out, look down at Lisa crouched in the door. Her tongue is sticking out at me, making me giggle, so I give the count...Ready, set, GO...
I let go of the plane, and immediately see it flying away from me. I am watching it, and gently arch, and slide off the hill, and there is Lisa, smiling and docking. I smile back, and we play tag through the gentle morning sky, the promise of the day's heat just beginning to show. We dance through the air, and while we did not get all the re-docks we wanted to do, it is fun, and it is so amazing to see a friend in the air with me after all this time. I am startled - I check my alti about a million times, but we have lots of time, and so we play. Tag, turn, bump, all good. Time to turn and track, and so I do...and now slow down, check airspace, reach and tug...and somehow end up laying on my right side, staring at the sun over my left shoulder. I automatically release the pilot chute as I am rolling onto my right side. Fuck, I think, something will wrap around something...I feel the bag release as I drop over to my belly...well, more like legs-high-head-low..."this is really gonna hurt"...and am gently pulled to my feet. "Well, at least line twists...and I crane my head back, watching the opening, and nothing. Nothing. Not a darned problem in sight. Good deal, I know how lucky I am, but I have to fly back now...and I do. No winds, north to south landing pattern set by other jumpers, so I hang out over the hanger til about 300, and then just start to cruise in, following the lead of the landed jumpers. At about 75 feet, I have seen the spot where I will land, but here comes this other canopy, heading straight at me. I waggle my legs at him, and nothing. He's looking the other way, looking to where he is going to land. He is near me, above to the left and in front by about 25 feet, but turning now...left, fuck he's right there turning into me goddamn NO... bellowing like a stuck bull now "TOM, TOM WATCH OUT TOOOOOOOMMMM" as I frantically jig to the right, trying to avoid a collision...and do avoid it, although now I am not sure where I am landing, or how to get there, and now I have to flare, and I am a tad wigged at this point, and there is no wind, so I try to step it out but I am still moving too fast for my short little legs to move, and I end up PLFing and rolling it out. Onto my feet, I am shaking, and I say to Tom "That was a fucking bit close, don't you think?" to which he replies "How'd you get behind me"...I am daisy chaining my lines, thinking all the things I would like to say, but instead I say I wasn't behind you, you turned in front of me. He asks me if I am sure, and I smile and nod. I don't think I should say anything else to him, because I am really frightened. I ask Lisa how close she thought it was and she said "Close, but hey, not to worry, it's a large dz, get used to that", and we go back and debrief and I learn about rear risers and how to use them to stop my descent and get more room in case that happens again. ECVZZ (Greg) has noticed that I am not finishing my flare - that I am planing out beautifully, but that my hands didn't go below my ribs...which could be a problem. I don't recall that, and think perhaps it was because of the near collision. No matter, I am down, and it's all good.
I meet VectorBoy and Lisa introduces me to IronMike and now it's time to get in the air again. Next jump comes along, and it's simply a 90 degree turn jump. 90 this way, back to Lisa, 90 the other, and back. Not gonna be hard - easy, light, nothing to really worry about. We get back on Shark, and Tom is there again. We give each other grief about canopy control and landing, but I think he gets the message...and now it's time to fly again. Same exit, except this time I am not looking at the plane as I leave, but at Lisa, and sort of flinch when I see her push out as I let go. I drift to the side, and hard arch, because I am not sure where she went...and now she's flying to me, and we match fall rates. I am getting better at that, and we are staying level. I turn, come back, turn again, no backsliding or sidesliding, just sweet, sharp turns on axis. We goof a little bit, grinning at each other and sticking out our tongues (which is really odd in freefall) and now it's 5K. Time to turn and track, so I do, but am chipping madly...it's 4 k, time to pull, and I am still chipping, but I pull anyway. The canopy opens as sweetly and gently as before, but as it opens, there is a slight turn to the right. No issue, pop the toggles, and check it out. My goggles have moved up my face, and are now resting right on a tender spot, and they are fogging up. Deciding to leave my goggles on, I dance, sashay across the floor of the desert, dancing in the bright sunshine, floating free of the earth for a few more moments, looking around. I play, chasing my shadow, following the day across the brown landscape, and remember the joy and laughter - the pure exuberence of a jump gone well, and a cruising canopy. I look into the distance, into the mountains, and oh how I will miss this...the world stretching before me, the magnitude of the landscape, the intensity which is life at 1500, the distance you can see up there even though you can't believe it exists when you are stuck on the ground, nose in a file, working day to day. The hugeness and splendor of the sky engulfs me, reminds me that there is far more to this world than I can see, or even begin to understand. The wonder and the awe of flying grips me, sears itself into my mind, and implants itself in my heart, threatening to be bigger - more - somehow than I can handle, and I lose myself in the blue...which is why I screw up the landing and slide in on my belly. I have forgotton to finish the flare, it seems, Greg was right, and my right elbow hurts a bit. Not bad, just enough to remind me that a broken arm right now is not something which I want. I vow to land the next one on my feet, because this really hurt my boobies, too...Lisa and I debrief, and it seems that she thinks I did as well as I thought I did. We discuss this flare thing, and I am not actually finishing it whatsoever. Lisa decides that all I need to do is add a third stage...finish it. I think, well, o.k., I can do that. She and I think maybe we will add Greg to a jump later; we decide that adding one person at a time is better than just going from a 2way to a 4way.
The winds get a bit odd right after lunch, and although Lisa and I have manifested and are thinking of a tracking dive, I decide the winds were too much, and we come off the load. Soon thereafter, Nick and Greg do the same thing, and within 20 minutes, the students are put on hold. We watch some of the tandems come straight down, some other canopies having a hard time penetrating the wind, and we are satisfied that we made the right choice.
And now things get, um, challenging. Linda H (our very own HotTamaly) comes sauntering over. It seems she and Lisa have been talking about me, and have decided that we should try something out. Linda sits on the grass, talking to me about my skydiving, about how I feel in the air, and that she's heard good things from Lisa...and that she wants to do a 5 way. Me, her, Lisa, Greg, and Nick. A five way. Four more people and me. In the air. At the same time. Holding hands or something. Maybe swinging my ass around the sky, for all I know. I know everyone is watching me, and I say "not bloody likely".
Lisa laughs, and the cajoling begins. I finally agree, because it was Lisa and Linda and Nick, and Greg seems o.k. with it, too. I have never done anything like this. But o.k., if they think I can handle it, then perhaps I can. I grab a little of their faith in me, and begin to learn how to do this thing. We are going to go in the skyvan, and I am to face Nick, hold his gripper with my left hand and his chest strap in my right. We will exit, and spread out into a star. This is the handholding part. I've seen pictures of it, I know what it should look like, so I am not worried too much about this. Then Linda tells me we are going to do some thing called a rotating Spider. Excuse me? I kill all spiders I find. I am scared of those buggers....ugh. Well, I have agreed, might as well try to do this. Besides, maybe the winds won't let up today. Oh, my god, what the hell am I going to do????
We dirt dive for over an hour, Linda talking and teaching the whole time. She manifests us, and we go to the roll-y things, and lay on our bellies scooting around for a while. I know I am not gonna be able to do this. I will crash everything out, I will get lost, my brain will lock up. Who knows? I am listening to Linda, trying to quell the heart pounding, the sweat dripping. We stand up, it's time to get gear on. I get the suit on, and struggle with the rig. I feel like a turtle putting on it's shell, and I am shaking so badly I can't get my arms through the straps. I am dripping with sweat. I can't do this. I get everything together, and we get to the mock-up. We approach it, and for the first time, despite practicing it forever, I actually realize that I will have to back up to the skyvan's open floor and jump off backwards. Backwards. Oh fuck me now. Backwards. Without looking. Bottom first. Aw, man, I can't do that. No, please, kids, can we wait, can we change this? How about another two way, Lisa? I'll buy the jump, o.k.? Please? My palms are sweaty, and my knees are literally knocking together.
Time to load. Well, I'll get in the plane. I may not get out, but I will get in. I crawl in, and sit down between Lisa and Greg. We take off, and as the wheels leave the runway, my heart threatens to get out and play on the floor. Or maybe my lunch will reappear. The entire ride to altitude I am trying to figure out an excuse. I can't breathe, I am nearly in tears, I simply am Airweenie, and I can't do this. Any excuse. I realize that I can't chicken out. I'll get pulled out the door like a sack of potatoes, but I can't back out. I trust Lisa and Linda, and I know Nick is a good jumper. Greg, having the same number of jumps as me, is on the other side of the formation. I don't think I could kill him, and the others can protect themselves (and Greg) from me. I hope. Shit, the door is open. 12.5K. Out goes the 15 way, and we take our positions. I look at Nick, take my grips, watch my knuckles turn white, and start backing to the door. Relax. Breathe. Look at Linda, and try to smile, although it is more like a rictus grin than a smile. Ready breathe set ohmygod go hop out....
And we are upside down. Now sideways. I have bumped crotches with several people now. Upside down, the world goes whirling around like a gyroscope. I can't tell what's happening, although I know we are all linked and headdown, 10 legs waving in the air like a standing rib roast. And now right side up, now on our side...a great big cluster of flailing appendages, and flying bodies. I am getting whacked around, and this is not the fun Linda promised. I am terrified. Linda lets go of me, and now I clutch Nick - and it's just me and him. I don't know where anyone else is. I am staring at him - eye contact being very important, says Linda. Nick gets his hand on my other gripper, and now I switch my clutch from his chest strap to his gripper. I have a hold on him - phew, o.k., I'm safe...until I see his eyes. They are flicking back and forth, rolled as far as they can go up...and then he looks at me, and immediately looks back up, and side to side. I figure he's spotted someone, so I look up, too, to see what he sees....who moved the ground? Why is it brown over my head? Where's the blue? Oh, shit, where is the goddam sky??????? As the knowledge dawns on me that I AM HEAD DOWN!!!!, Nick throws his hips back and I arch, hard. Really hard. As hard as I can. And we somehow come rightside up, stable, and in a two-way. And I am still clutching him like he can save me or something. I check my altimeter, and we are at 8. The plan was that if it all went to hell, Lisa was to find me, Linda was to find Greg, and Nick was to hang out and come in when he could. I am not letting go of Nick, though, so they will have to find me and him.
I finally see Lisa, cruising over, and as she appears over my shoulder, she grabs Nicks arm, and wrenches my hand off his gripper. I start sinking on them, so correct the problem. We are now level, and Lisa mouths "relax" at me. I try to smile, and breathe, but I am thinking "relax? Aw shit, did you see me headdown????". I am watching the alti, because I still don't know where Greg and Linda are. Finally I see them approaching us from underneath at 5.5, and I flap my hands at them - shoo, go away, it's time to break off, shoo, don't come up, I'll kick someone or something! 5, and now Nick and Lisa let go of me. 180 turn which I overdo. I look to see where Nick is, and I am not at right angles to him...instead of 90 degrees, I am more like 65...so I correct, and then track away, shorter than I had planned, but I couldn't see anyone, so as I slow down I reach and pull. I get the canopy over my head, it's diving and going to the right, so I get the toggles in my hand and do like 4 controlability checks, because that was weird. I turn to the dz - we are really far away, so I start to trek back. I see the truck on it's way, hauling ass, and I realize he's coming for me. Which means I am really way off. So I see where I am going to land, and it looks like I will be about 10 feet shy of the berm, give or take about 10 feet...I understand that I really need to stop this canopy quickly, because I don't feel like crashing again, and I get ready, and wait, flare smooth, gently, no planing, and all the way down, all the way down...and set it down on my toes, no steps. I am about 5 feet away from a 6 foot berm. The truck comes pulling up, and I say to Tim "a perfect landing, and no-one to see it", and he says "I saw it. Nicely done. How come you don't land like that at the DZ?"...
We pick Lisa up, and as she climbs in, I say "O.K., now I know what a funnelled exit is." She asks how I liked it, and I said "I'm mad. I want to go and do it right. But somehow, it was fun, too. Isn't that weird?"..."No, Michele, that's skydiving" and laughs her laugh, and we get back. She knows I am through for the day, and knows that I am through for the next few months. But I have learned so much from her, and Linda, and Nick and Greg. This was, likely, the best day for me on the DZ since I graduated AFF (and yes, the beer was bought and paid).
I can accept the temporary darkness upcoming more easily now - for I have the memories of today dancing through my mind; memories of friends, laughter, moving through fear and finding freedom on the other side. I have memories of grass fights, water fights, and quiet moments; of hurtling through the blue, finding myself whole and perfect, if only in that special single moment; of a sunsplashed path laid out before me, beckoning me onward under a brilliant blue sky. The enormity that is my playground will wait, and I will return. And I will fly soon.
Ciels and Pinks-
Michele
Life is what you make it; always was, always will be.
~Grandma Moses~

[skycat 0]

That does it I need to come out to Perris and see if Lisa will mom me. Maybe that's all I need to get my spirit back.
Lisa, I swear I cost less than your son.....I can even by my own beer

[bbarnhouse 0]

(((((Michelle)))))))Take care of you.
Cheers
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but rather by the moments that take our breath away.

[skybytch 273]

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That does it I need to come out to Perris and see if Lisa will mom me.

Do come visit, Kelli! I'm always up for a day or weekend of jumping with a friend
Michele, I had so much fun flying with you! Hang in there for the next six weeks and then we'll go do it again.
Something she didn't mention that made us all laugh - Linda insists during dirt dives that she won't key the next point if everyone in the group isn't smiling. So we're climbing to altitude in the Van and Michele is visualizing the jump with her eyes closed, arms doing the RW taichi. Her hands take a grip, then she dirt dove a smile!! Too funny....
pull & flare,
lisa
"Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda sez

[bbarnhouse 0]

Well hummmmmmm I wanna come see toooooooooooo!!
If you learn not to expect anything, you don't leave room for disappointment.

[freeflir29 0]

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then she dirt dove a smile!!

Thats awesome!!! I don't think I have ever seen anyone do that but it's a darn good idea!! "Here I come to save the BOOBIES!"

[jceman 1]

...and you say you're not a writer?
HA!
I say again, HAH!
Good job by all, and a wonderful recounting of it. We'll b e awaiting your return to the sky, but don't make us miss you while you're down.

[skymama 37]

Now, you have to admit....headdown is pretty damn cool, isn't it? Come back to the darkside when you get back in the air, Michele! Andrea
I'm high as a kite
I just might
Stop and check you out.

[ECVZZ 0]

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dirt dove a smile!!

LMFAO!!!! Don't know how I missed that one! Next time Michele, you sit across from me .
G. Jones
"The Mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains..."

[SkyDekker 1,465]

Michele, I love reading your stories. I will miss reading them in the next 6 weeks. Good luck, I am sure it will all work out perfectly.
If all goes well I will be able to make it to Perris this September......
SkyDekker
"We cannot do great things, only small things with great love" Mother Theresa

[Lindsey 0]

Great story! Thanks.....what a great time!
Peace~
Lindsey
Ya' know Smack-water Jack he bought a shotgun
'cause he was in the mood for a little con-fron-ta-tion

[Michele 1]

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So we're climbing to altitude in the Van and Michele is visualizing the jump with her eyes closed, arms doing the RW taichi. Her hands take a grip, then she dirt dove a smile!! Too funny....

Lisa, I had no idea I did that. I was so intent on doing everything exactly like Linda wanted it, I guess it got through! LOL...did I ever smile during the whole jump?
Greg, no, you may not sit across from me. You were busy holding my hand and patting my knee.
Skycat - yes, come to Perris. Lisa will be happy to pal around with you, and there are some gorgeous guys there, too. And if Lisa thinks I won't kill you in freefall, I'll jump with you, too!
All y'all are really cool! I think all I need is some time in the air with other people, and I will be able to tame this wild fear thing.
And as Nick stated in the plane: "Michele, you can't be Air Weenie unless you get into the air. If you don't, you're just Weenie". Ciels and Pinks-
Michele
Life is what you make it; always was, always will be.
~Grandma Moses~

[ltdiver 3]

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And as Nick stated in the plane: "Michele, you can't be Air Weenie unless you get into the air. If you don't, you're just Weenie".

LMAO! Thanks for the ltdiver
____________________________________________
LightDiverCam

[quade 4]

Nice write ups.
Good luck on Tuesday. We'll be sending good thoughts your way.
quade
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