Friday Joke

[ScottishJohn 25]

A man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, I've got
a problem, but if you're going to treat it, first you've
got to promise not to laugh."
"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional.
>> >In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," the man said, and proceeded to drop his
trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor has ever
seen. Unable to control himself, the doctor fell laughing to
the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet
and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," he said. I don't know what came over
me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it
won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen."
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I can smell your noodles !
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[skreamer 1]

Is your winkie OK now John?
"Look before you jump, don't die until you're dead"

[jtval 0]

john, I hope the dr. didnt hurt your feelings. ther's nothing you can do about it...except hang a 5 pound weight from it.
(or is it a 12 kilo weight from it)
Life's a bitch, and I'm her Pimp!
JT
http://community.webshots.com/user/jtval100

[ScottishJohn 25]

Three leprechauns, Mick, Sean and Kevin, are sitting in the pub getting
quietly pissed when Mick shouts out,
"Jaysus, I'm bored wid bein' a feckin' nobody. I'm tinkin' I'll take
meself down to de Guinness Book of Records office and get meself entered in de book".

"What de hell are ye talkin' about, ye eejit. You've dun nuttin' to get in
de book for", says Sean.

"Well, it's me hands, Sean", Mick says waving them around, "I tink dey
are de smallest in de world and I'm gonna get meself entered into de book and I'll be world famous". The other two agree that they are quite small and they all carry on drinking heartily.

A little while later Kevin pipes up, "Ya know Mick, if ye can get into de
Guinness Book of Records for yer small hands, so can I" The other two
smirk at each other and Mick says, "How can ye have de smallest hands in the world if I've got dem, ya bloody fool"?
Kevin replies, "It's not me hands, Mick, it's me feet", and he takes off
his boots to show them. "I tink dat dey are de smallest feet in de world
and I'm gonna get meself entered into de Guinness Book of Records too".
The other two agree that they are quite small and with that they all go
back to their drinking.Some time later Sean chimes in, "Well,if youse two
can get into de Guinness Book of Records, I can too".
The others fall about laughing. "What de feck have you got dats so feckin' interesting?", cries Sean.
It's me dick, Sean", he says and pulls down his breeches to show them.
They both howl with laughter as Sean pulls out his little willy.

"Jaysus, ye've got the best chance of us all, Sean", says Kevin, "dat's
the smallest feckin' dick I ever saw" and with that they all go back to
their drinking.
Later on, full to the gills, they are heading home when, out of the corner of his eye, Mick spots the Guinness Book of Records office further down the street.

"Jaysus", he says "I'm gonna go into dat office and I'm gonna get me hands measured" and off he staggers.

Ten minutes later he comes out with a big smile on his face waving his
hands in the air. "I did it. I did it", he says. "I'm in de Guinness Book
of Records for de smallest hands in the world. Nobody's got smaller hands dan me", he says and with that he pushes Kevin forward.

"Go on ye eejit. See if ye have de smallest feet in de world. Go on".
"Feck it. I will", says Kevin and off he staggers. Ten minutes later, he
too comes out with a big smile on his face, kicking his feet in the air.
"Jaysus, I'm famous", he says. "I've got de smallest feet in de world. I'm
famous, I'm famous".

With that Sean staggers to the office door. "I'm gonna get me dick
measured", he says, "I won't be long". The other two are waiting anxiously for Sean to return, but time slips by. Ten minutes turns into twenty and twenty into thirty. No sign of Sean. Forty minutes go by and the office door opens. Sean slouches out looking disconsolate,
"Who de feckin hell is Skreamer? he says
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I can smell your noodles !
=================================

[skreamer 1]

Hey, JT, maybe thats how it got swollen in the first place.....
"Look before you jump, don't die until you're dead"

[Geoff 0]

POP NEWS JUST IN...
Craig David has just announced that he is to retire from the music business. He is training with the British Olympic Archery team as their bow selector.

[jtval 0]

I guess it coulda gotten that way from the weights
Life's a bitch, and I'm her Pimp!
JT
http://community.webshots.com/user/jtval100

[jfields 0]

Thanks ScottishJohn for the hearty laugh at Skreamer's expense!
Justin