Code Monkeys

[Zennie 0]

With Apologies to any project managers out there...
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have an AutoCAD monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000."
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can draw in AutoCAD, - very fast, clear layout, no mistakes, well worth the money." The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive. $10,000 -- what does it do?"
Oh, that one's a Design monkey; it can design systems, layout projects, mark-up drawings, write specifications, even some calculations. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a project manager.
"Zero Tolerance: the politically correct term for zero thought, zero common sense."

[ChromeBoy 0]

You don't have to do anything. The other monkeys are more productive because they know the head monkey is around. However, when people purchase the other monkeys and take them home they will lose their productivity because they do not have supervision.
The pet store owner needs to hire a Consultant to come in and implement the self directed work team philosophy so the monkeys will stay motivated on their own and they will not need the Project Manager around. It might cost a little up front but they will not have to spend $50,000 on the Head Monkey. They will have satisfied owners of the monkeys because not only will they complete their assigned tasks on time but they will be open for cross training into other areas as well.

[R00tj00se 0]

People like you are the reason I hate working in an office!
:)

[pop 0]

FUNNY AND TRUE!!!!!!
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"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he doesn't exist!"

[GrumpySmurf 0]

Or simply assign the monkeys a wad of stock options and let them know that if they succeed, they will be turned into millionaire monkeys - costs nothing up front and you only pay out if the company succeeds. No need for project managers or consultants.

[Nick 0]

But they all work in telecoms and the whole market slumps before they get a chance to sell their options.