Sad day

[billvon 2,991]

About a month ago a friend of mine had his daughter kidnapped. A bunch of us went looking for her around San Diego and in the desert, but after two weeks we had almost given up hope. Then, last week, they found her body. They arrested one of his neighbors after finding her blood in his RV (among other things.)
Now there's a pre-trial hearing going on, and the suspect's attorney is trying his best to make my friend and his wife sound like irresponsible alcoholic drug addicts who probably killed their own daugther. I almost got into a fight at a gas station today when the guy in front of me in line said "They're all guilty, if you ask me." This from someone who gets all his info from a radio talk show.
I have to think there's a special place in hell for people who would hear about someone's daughter getting kidnapped and murdered - and then gossip about it, blame the parents, decide that the reason it happened was that they were bad, it could certainly never happen to _me_. Perhaps even worse than that would to someday have your own child be kidnapped - and then have to listen as the media speculated on whether your drinking or irresponsible parenting was to blame for someone else taking your child.
-bill von

[ChromeBoy 0]

I saw that on Americas Most Wanted. Sad story.
Flying in a Blue Dream

[Muenkel 0]

You're friends with the Van Dam's?
This is truly a heartbreaking story that I could not even listen when her body was found. I was the victim of a crime once and you get victimized twice. First the actual crime and second the system tries to blame you. It's brutal.
My prayers are with your friend and his family.
Skydivers...they're just plain cool!
Chris

[Viking 0]

wow bill i didn't even know. I hope they hang that sick bastard by his balls!
I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver

[skybytch 273]

Quote

Perhaps even worse than that would to someday have your own child be kidnapped - and then have to listen as the media speculated on whether your drinking or irresponsible parenting was to blame for someone else taking your child.

I agree wholeheartedly. I can't even imagine what they are going through losing their daughter period, much less in such a horrible way, and then having to deal with character assassination on top of all of that. I hope there's a special place reserved in hell for defense attorneys and certain members of the media too...
pull and flare,
lisa
--
I'll be in the bar... you'll find me...

[freaksister 0]

Bill, I am so sorry to hear about this. I don't watch TV much so I hadn't heard. What a horrible crime. It really hits home when it happens to someone you know. I'm freaked. My sympathy and prayers to your friends, and to you as well.
Hugs,
Sis
Can you Trip like I do?

[airdrew20012001 0]

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I hope they hang that sick bastard by his balls!

I hate to be the one to have to say this, and I am sure I will be heavily lambasted for it but here goes: in our legal system merely being charged does not make one guilty. Neither does being tried. It is only once you plead guilty or are found guilty that you are guilty. Until then, your are innocent. Don't get me wrong, I am trying to find a job at a prosecutors office as we speak, i am not a defense attorney. The o so very slight amount of evidence that it takes to charge a person makes one who is familiar with it leary of pumping up the lynch mob. The truth of the matter is that DA's and grand juries get it wrong sometimes.
That being said, I hope they figure out whomever did it and hang that person by whatever part of their body that is most sensitive and, at the same time, most likely to tear off when hung from. Slowly. Very, very, very slowly.
Drewfus McDoofus

[MarkM 0]

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decide that the reason it happened was that they were bad, it could certainly never happen to _me_.

That's just why people do it. People can't handle not being able to control stuff in their life, so they make it controllable. We all do this. Try not to be so hard on them, it's human nature and they aren't getting the whole story like you are.
My condolences to your friends. I've lost a parent and a sibling. If I had a child I wouldn't want to outlive him or her

[Pammi 0]

I'm so sorry Bill. I'd been watching the story and it's very, very sad and scary. It's really sad that victims end up having to defend themselves as much as the criminals do. It's the case in so many things, like rape and this. All we can do is pray that God helps them through this. I'm sure having friends like you, Bill, will be some relief to them.
Something new!

[airdrew20012001 0]

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It's really sad that victims end up having to defend themselves as much as the criminals do.

Amen to that. You don't know how many times I have had to listen to defense attorney's tell the judge I work for that "the little vixen (like, 8 yo daughter of defendant) came on to my client".
Drewfus McDoofus

[Albatross 0]

Bill,
I am so sorry that anyone has to deal with this type of loss compounded by the media but I am especially saddened that someone that I know as sch a kind person as you has to deal with it. Good luck and God Bless
God bless us and God Bless America
Albatross

[Zennie 0]

Yet another reason I got out of law.
It ain't a justice system, folks, it's a *legal* system. It doesn't matter whether the position taken is right or wrong, just whether it meets the requirements of law.
And if you don't have a legit defense, blame the victim. An especially convenient tactic when the victim isn't around to defend him/herself.
My condolences, and best of luck to your friends.
"Zero Tolerance: the politically correct term for zero thought, zero common sense."

[hooked 0]

I am so sorry. I cannot understand why some 'sicko' would harm a child and it makes it so much worse when the media and public start voicing their opinion without even knowing what happened. There is a "special place in hell" for the gossipers. Well, at least we can hope there is!
God Bless you and the family.
J

[Pammi 0]

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the little vixen (like, 8 yo daughter of defendant) came on to my client

Heard the same about my daughter...when she was five. It's ridiculous to put it mildly.
Something new!

[Whiskeychick 0]

Hi Bill,
I didn't know you were friends with the parents. My parents live down the street from them, and last time I visited, the neighborhood had made a beautiful memorial for Danielle. The really sick thing is that my parents were acquaintences with the kidnapper/murderer, and had the bastard over at their house a few times! They always thought he was such a nice guy... I guess you never can tell. Anyways, best wishes for your friends.

[Magistr8 0]

Bill:
Thank god that I have not been tainted by the media coverage on this sad event by condolences go out to you and the family's of the victum. Although we are all very upset we must understand that the media gets its ratings by selective stereotypes and overexaggerations. You are correct, it is sad when you hear the media blow things about of proportion and the gaps in the story speculated and filled in by those furthest from the incident. It is tragic that a lesson like this is reminded to so many daily and we do not hear about it. Again my depest condolences.
Peter
Who ever said comming down from a high was bad obviously never tried this.
Magistr8

[skydiver51 0]

Very sorry to hear this Bill. Well wishes to your friend from my wife and I.
Blue Skies, Sad Heart.
Idiocy = Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

[divejunky 0]

I'm so very sorry. Some people should keep their opinions to themselves, especially the media!

[billvon 2,991]

Thanks everyone for the support.
Before this happened I wasn't very close friends with Damon - we work together, saw each other at meetings and the occasional lunch or barbeque. I was shocked when I got back to work after a business trip and heard someone mention it. My first reaction was "that's the same Damon?" I hadn't even linked the guy I knew to the news stories I heard.
Since then I've found myself getting incredibly mad at the media and people in general. I've seen it on tabloid headlines - "What the Van Dams are hiding!" - and in the uninformed opinions of DJ's and news commentators. I mean, I don't know what happened, but I at least know him a little. And yet these people are making up theories, accusing them of things - and they've never even met them!
At the same time, it's been really heartwarming to see the thousands of people who turned out to support the family. I showed up one Sunday at 8 am in the Anza Borrego Desert (about 2 hours east of San Diego) - and the place was packed with volunteers ready to join the search. From 20 year old college guys to 50 year old made-up women, they were all out there traipsing across the desert, getting stuck with cholla, tripping over rocks, all for a little girl most of them didn't know.
It really brought home to me the power of the media, both for good and bad. Most of the volunteers didn't know the Van Dams, and had turned up because they'd heard about it on TV. At the same time it fueled this blind judgement that got me so mad. It's also made me think about how I judge other people, and how often people make judgements based on missing, secondhand or incomplete information.
Someone mentioned how vilifying them is a defense mechanism, and I think that's true. It's the same attitude you sometimes see after someone goes in. "Well, he was an idiot, you gotta expect to go in when you hook turn like he did (or whatever.)" The unspoken end to that thought is " . . . and since I'm not an idiot, I'm not going to die." No one wants to think bad things can happen to them, and they make up reasons that they are immune. The problem with that is that you're not. People who never hook turn sometimes turn too low and seriously injure themselves (or worse.) People who take good care of their kids sometimes lose them to kidnappers and murderers. Thank god it doesn't happen very often, but it does happen with depressing regularity. If people truly think that they're different, that it can't happen to them, that can be a very dangerous thing to believe. I hope most people are smarter than that.
-bill von

[GroundZero 0]

I was saddened deeply when I first heard about this... (She was close to my own daughter's age). I did notice a few weeks back you were out looking for her in the desert. I'm sure the family greatly appreciates your help. Continue to support your friends. They need you.
Blues,
Chris

[FreeflyGoat 0]

Alot of people talk out of there ass without thinking about it.
About 6 years ago I had a friend murdered in the Video store where he worked that was right across from the music store I was working at the same night. Well about a month ago I was in that video store renting a video with Deva and while we were at the counter there was another man who was pissed cuz the teller was too slow and didnt get something right. He blurts out "That's why the people who work here asked to get shot and killed" or something like that.
That dumb MF didnt even realize who he was saying that around. If he would have said that a few years ago before I changed my ways he would have has his ass whooped in the parking lot. He heard the coment that I made and stormed out. He wouldnt even look me in the eyes as I passed him.
Goat
Goat aka Dereck aka SuperFreak
AD A#292

[AggieDave 6]

I hear you man, I'm very sorry to hear about your friends, I watch almost no TV so I missed that one. My thoughts and prayers are out to you and your friends.
Similar with me when people who have no fucking clue pop off about Bonfire. More then a couple times I almost kicked the living shit out of someone for stupid comments. People who have no fucking clue except what a "talking head" told them popping off with stupid comments.
"Give me one ping and one ping only..."

[Strynx 0]

Send my best wishes to them and tell them to hang on. There's a god willing to help them. Hope the guilty gets locked up in a real hard open prison (e.g. not locked up for 23/24 hours)so he can get a little bit of his medecine. DO NOT HURT A CHILD. F**&^K that kinda shit pisses me off.
P.L.U.R.

[SkyDekker 1,465]

I am sorry bill, please convey my condolences to your friends....
SkyDekker
"We cannot do great things, only small things with great love" Mother Theresa

[skybytch 273]

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e.g. not locked up for 23/24 hours

He won't be safe even if he is in "administrative segregation." I learned while sitting on a death penalty jury last year that the "normal" criminals can and will take out the "deviants" (ie child molesters, child murders, rapists) in any way possible. The defendant in the case I was on was locked up like that. There was a rapist on the same cell block, sharing the same day room, breathing the same air. The defendant figured out a way to not go back to his cell one day when the rapist was out on a lawyer visit. When the rapist came back into the day room (where the inmates spent their one hour per day out of their cells), the defendant stabbed the shit out of him, cut his throat and left the homemade knife embedded in the rapist's spine. The rapist was very, very lucky to survive that attack.
pull and flare,
lisa
--
I'll be in the bar... you'll find me...