Skystorm 0 #76 March 13, 2002 Scratch,I considered hitting him with a baseball bat in his sleep. But reconsidered because it would've made my bed all messy and bloody. Maar dankie. Ek weet dis net ek wat iets aan die saak kan doen. Ek het net ondersteuning nodig.Sorry Medic, had to do that!!! LOLMel, praat later met jou.Oeps, Sorry Medic, I did it again. Hang onto Heaven, when hell is on your back Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crazymel 0 #77 March 13, 2002 Yo Medic - maybe you should get ur ass back to SA again....can't show u the BOOBIES till u speak "the" language!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #78 March 13, 2002 Boere taal boVan ondersteuning gepraat. As dit is wat jy benodig dan sal jy volop op heirdie forum kry.En los die bofbal kolf af. Jy sal nooooit daai vlekke van die dak en die gordyne af kry nie.Sorry Medic and Michele I know it is rudeTo translateJammer Medic en Michele Ek weet dat dit onbeskof is. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #79 March 13, 2002 Quote back to SA againMedic has been to SA?????? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crazymel 0 #80 March 13, 2002 Ja - as ek reg onthou. In Kaapstad gewerk in 'n hospitaal vir 'n paar maande ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GravityPirate 0 #81 March 13, 2002 I'll give you my advice - take it or leave it, up to you!! This is coming from a blokes point of view - from what you wrote, i reckon you should leave him now! It sounds like you have tried to make it work and tried to talk to him about how you feel and he just doesn't give a sh*t! There's plenty more fish in the sea, as the saying goes, so grab a rod and start fishing!! I sure as hell wouldn't stand for being treated like a piece of shit, no matter how much i liked/loved someone. Plus, how can you love and be happy with a person that makes you miserable? Life is too short to be unhappy and i always thought that the idea of being with someone was to make you happy and feel good about yourself etc. Maybe thats just me?! In short then, cutaway and get on your reserve!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #82 March 13, 2002 Ag shame and the C.T. girls are so stuck up.<> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #83 March 13, 2002 Cut away... Cut away asap...Just do it...Just be glad there aren't any children in the picture.. That REALLY makes things hard.. If I were in your shoes and unhappy with no children to worry about leaving would be SOOOOO easy. Life is to short to sweat the small shit. Establish a game plan as to how you are going to cut away and follow the plan. Stick to your guns..Or just kick him in the balls and push him out the front door?? lolRhinoBlue Skies and Smooth Rides!! http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scottbre 0 #84 March 13, 2002 Quote Even in the best relationships you'll have your share of fights.[stoking the fire] My parents have never had a fight. They have had disagreements at times, but it has never been so bad that they got into an argument or fight about it. [/stoking the fire]20 million bathtubs can't be wrong. . . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skystorm 0 #85 March 13, 2002 Ok, so this is what I decided.I've invited him for drinks at a local bar tonight. I'll sit him down and ask him straight and last what his case are.Carefully screening his answer, the way he acts, little stuff that I know about him, I'll cut away. In the last few days since Monday Night, we haven't spoken a word. So I think he knows what's coming.Yet again, I'll have to inform you in the morning.Scratch/Mel, doen ek die regte ding? Die algemene opvatting van SA/Namibiese mans is dat hulle maar moeilik hulle gevoelens wys?Wish me luck.Hang onto Heaven, when hell is on your back Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #86 March 13, 2002 Om te se " Ek het jou lief" is nie gevoelens wys nie. Daai is net woorde in baaie gevalle.Liefde onder mees SA mans is met daade gewys. In hierdie verhouding van joune smaak dit vir my dat daar 'n tekort van alby is, woord an daad.Sny....die grond kom al hoe naader. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Magistr8 0 #87 March 13, 2002 I'm really late posting to this thread but the general concensus seems to be to get rid of the fool since that what he is. I have found that people like him are often doing what he does to you because you havn't come down hard on him yet. You can tell him to shape up or get out and he will start to get his act together if he knows what's good for him.2) every guy no matter who he is tells his buddies about his GF. These guys of his are probably wondering in their heads why on earth you havn't done some thing yet. You may genueinly care about this sorry excuse for a man but if you really love him then you should let him go.Who ever said comming down from a high was bad obviously never tried this.Magistr8 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crazymel 0 #88 March 13, 2002 Maklik gaan dit nie wees nie - maar ek dink dis die regte ding. Ek glo aan "moenie se hoe jy voel nie...wys my". Daar is stunning ouens daarbuite (en veral in Namibia) - wat jou sal treat soos wat jy verdien!!! Moenie "settle" vir tweede beste nie!! Soos wat my JM my geleer het...kyk, handles, regs, links en ARCH!!!! Jy doen die regte ding..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #89 March 13, 2002 Quote I've invited him for drinks at a local bar tonight. I'll sit him down and ask him straight and last what his case are. Carefully screening his answer, the way he acts, little stuff that I know about him, I'll cut away. If he said "I really do love you", and had the body language, met your eyes, etc., would that change how he treats you?If he said "I'll change the way I treat you", would you believe him?If he said "let's get married", would you say yes?Are you giving him "one last chance"? How many last chances have you given him already? (When will it be time for your chance? Your happiness? Your life?) Why are you not trusting yourself with this decision, hard and painful as it is? Why are you not listening to yourself? You already know the truth. This is your life we're talking about. You trust yourself enough to jump out of planes, why not trust yourself to jump out of the relationship?You are worth the love a good man gives. Trust in yourself to find it. And Sky, it is not with him.I guess what I am getting at is you're setting yourself up for a problem. If he has already treated you that poorly, (and he has - you deserve far better than that) it will not - NOT - get better. You have seen true colors, and you're asking him to change them. It isn't going to happen, Sky. The first time I saw my ex's temper (as the coffee table went flying past my ear), I should have trusted myself that it was not going to get better. Instead, after years of bruises, finally it took 4 broken ribs and a trip through the plate glass window to convince me. It does not get better.To use your analogy, you look up and see a ball of crap over your head. You know it is not going to open. Do you wait to see what happens? Invite it to drinks to discuss the reason it won't open? Discuss the reason that one line wanted to be in the wrong place that day? Discuss why the slider pulled a no-show today, as you spin wildly out of control....Or do you look, reach, grab and pull as if your life depends on it, because it does?I gave my ex "one more chance", too, many times. He made all the promises, did all the right things, and I believed him. My ex truly believed what he said to me. It just wasn't the truth, and actions do speak louder than words. But I heard the words I wanted to hear, and saw a little of the "action" I wanted to see. But is was not sustainable. It did not work. It wasn't his "color", so to speak. Sky, do it now, let him go, and come back to yoruself, for yourself, and with yourself. Are you waiting for "proof"? It's in the pudding, as they say. And the pudding has already been made. I know it's hard. And it is not going to be easier later. Believe in yourself, and trust yourself. And if that is too hard right now, trust someone who has been there (lots on this board), and make the change. You deserve happiness. Why settle for less?Ciels and Pinks-MicheleIf you really want to, you can seize the day; if you really want to, you can fly away...~enya~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
indyz 1 #90 March 13, 2002 Quote In Kaapstad gewerk in 'n hospitaal vir 'n paar maandeWork in a hospital in Capetown for/with a couple of ????Highschool German once again almost pays off, but doesn't get me all the way there.--BrianHomepageAIM: suprmath Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zennie 0 #91 March 13, 2002 Very well put Michelle.He may say he's sorry. He may say he'll change. He may even try to change for a while. But sooner or later he'll go back to being his normal self. In psychology circles they call it the "Cycle of Abuse"."Zero Tolerance: the politically correct term for zero thought, zero common sense." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jceman 1 #92 March 13, 2002 Well put also, Zennie.I have been where you (the original poster) are, but from _his_ viewpoint. The big difference is that I KNEW I was an asshole. Wanted to change, for myself as much as hers, and went and got the help I needed. Did it on my own volition and without her asking.Guess that's why I was able to reform enough to be able to stand myself and stayed in her good graces.Don't let my statements mislead you, if he hasn't made the same decision on his own by now, with all the flags you've raised, he never will. Cutaway now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymedic 0 #93 March 13, 2002 Very good brian...very good......marcBSBD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skystorm 0 #94 March 14, 2002 Ok, so since Monday night I didn't sleep a wink nor ate anything. I was constantly thinking about what choice to make. I posted on here, asking advice. Almost every single reply told me to cut.Some suggest I get a dog. LOLSOMEONE suggested I could fly to Marylands, USA. I've been asked to post video, sorry to dissapoint you guys, theres no video... I Think... I've printed this thread and studied it. It's full of red pen markings. I've taken a long hard look at myself, decided what I wanted, and why I've posted on here. And I haven't been brutally honest. Sorry. I'm ashamed of myself.I haven't told you about the time we fought and in the heat of the moment he told me he loved me. I haven't told you about the times we're with friends or in a bar and he pulls me nearer to him. I haven't told you that there was definitely an improvement since we've started dating. I haven't told you about a lot of things, because I was only thinking of my own anger and hurt when starting this thread. I hang my head in shame, I was trying to put him into a bad light, making me feel better.Still the things in the original post did happen.Last night we went to dinner in the town's most posh hotel (LOL). We started chatting about the weather, student skydivers for the upcoming weekend, and a whole lot of other stuff. And it was awkward as hell. I caught him a few times staring at me, trying to say something. For the first time I saw the dark circles under his eyes, the long beard, the uncombed hair.After dining I told him:"Ok, so this is what you're been doing and it hurts me and I won't stand for it. I deserve much better. Get your act together or get out."He was totally in disbelief, he never knew. Because before last night he never wanted to listen. He told me that's the way he is. If something doesn't concern him or touch his feelings, it's not worth doing anything about it.And I told him if that's the way he wants it, then he had to get out. He apologised and told me he doesn't want out. He asked me if I haven't noticed that he tried to change. I did notice, but for me he didn't try hard enough and I told him so. Told him that I'm not going to wait another year for him to treat me with love and respect. He told me it would not take another year.I told him that I didn't expect him to ask me to marry him, I don't want to get married, not now in any case. But I told him straight out: "One more misstep and you're out."I also told him about this thread and all the replies. He asked if he's really been such a jerk and I told him he was.I know that you all told me to cut and I read all the advice and taken it to heart. Thanx for all the support and love you've posted. Now you can flame me for not cutting, not listening, but I have to go with my gut feeling.Ok, I'm waiting.... Scratch/Mel, julle mag my maar uitkak in afrikaans. Mens doen dit anyway veel beter in jou moedertaal.Hang onto Heaven, when hell is on your back Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymedic 0 #95 March 14, 2002 Just remember there is always help here......and good luck sis....marcBSBD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skystorm 0 #96 March 14, 2002 Thanks Medic. Hang onto Heaven, when hell is on your back Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #97 March 14, 2002 Wat Skymedic gese het Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #98 March 14, 2002 Hey Medic what is this about you and Cape Town? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skystorm 0 #99 March 14, 2002 Dankie Scratch Was die bangste vir jou!!!Dankie vir die ondersteuning. Nou wag ek net om te hoor wat sê Crazymel?Hang onto Heaven, when hell is on your back Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #100 March 14, 2002 Hoekom bang?Ek leef dan myle van jou af.Ek het ook 'n groot vrees vir skietgoedNee wat sussie dis jou lewe en jou besluite. Jy moet doen wat jou eie siel tegerus stel.Onthou net wat of hierdie forum geskryf is as dinge begin 'gly'Die mense wie hier uithang mag miskien vol kak wees maar hulle is glad nie dom nie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
