R00tj00se 0 #1 September 10, 2001 Little something to beat the Monday blues:A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her> >nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss> >Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Pattie Looks>at> >the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is>Kermit> >Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger,and that it's okay, he knows the bank> >manager. Pattie explains that he will need to secure the loan with some> >collateral. The frog says "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny> >porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly> >formed. Very confused, Pattie explains that she'll have to consult with> >the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the>manager> >and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to>know> >you> >and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.">She> >holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"> >> >> >> >> >(you're gonna love this)> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >(its a real treat)> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >(masterpiece)> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >(wait for it)> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >The bank manager looks back at her and says...> >"It's a knick-knack, Pattie Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's>a> >Rolling Stone." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nimbus 0 #2 September 10, 2001 that's great! especially the suspenseful buildup! just needed a laugh when I looked at the clock, realised it was 12.48am and I would need to be up at 5am to finish my uni essay that was due in last week!thanks for that... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PalmettoTiger 1 #3 September 10, 2001 ********Disclaimer - I do not necessarily share Henry Ford's opinion of women. ********Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates, St. Peter greets Ford and tells him, "Well, you've been such a good guy, and your invention... the Assembly line for the automobile... changed the world. As a reward, you can hang uut with anyone in Heaven you want." Ford thinks about it, and says, "I want to hang out with God Himself." So the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room, and introduces him to God. Ford asks God, "When you invented Woman, what were you thinking?" God asks, "What do you mean?" "Well," says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your invention: 1. There's too much front-end protrusion. 2. It chatters way too much at high speeds. 3. Maintenance is extremely high. 4. It constantly needs repainting and refinishing. 5. Every 28 days it leaks fluid and is rendered out of service. 6. The rear end wobbles too much. 7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust. 8. The headlights are usually too small. 9. Fuel consumption is outrageous.""Hummmm," replies God, "hold on a minute." God goes over to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. In no time, the computer prints out a report and God reads it. God then turns to Ford, and says, "It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #4 September 10, 2001 Whats wrong with Henry's assesment? It seems to be right on!"Jesus Blessed me with his future...and I protect it with fire!"-R.A.T.M.Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
