zclubber1 0 #1 August 9, 2001 Hi, my name is Clubber, and I'm an altiholic. It all started with my childhood dreams of flying. I knew about skydiving, but I had never tried it. Then one day a friend of mine talked me into trying a skydive just once. He said things like, "One jump won't hurt you." and "You can walk away at any time." Well, as we all know, one is never enough and 2 is too many.I guess it started off OK. It was the standard AFF deal. I figured I would do a level or 2 each month, you know, just to stay current. 2 levels a month turned out to be 2 levels per day. But I had it under control. "Only jump on the weekends and I'll be alright". Well, one day per weekend turned into all weekend. Still, I was sure I didn't have a problem. I thought, "I'll just sleep in the tent. As long as I make home by Sunday night, I can make it to work on Monday, and I'll be alright." Soon after that, I graduate from the AFF to solo's. I was convinced that even though it was a better high, I still had it "under control". I wasn't gonna turn out like everyone else. I was different. I was stronger. I guess was a functioning addict at the time. Still paying rent, still going to work. So what if I push the phone bill back a little. It's not like they're threatening to turn it off. Besides, jumps are only $18 now. Yeah, right, $18. But now, instead of saving money, I just started jumping more. And more and more.I wish I could have seen myself like other people saw me, hair all blown out, film of dirt covering my face, slapping down my credit card for everything from jump tickets to gear rentals. "Oh yeah, put a rush on that jumpsuit order. I'll pay the extra $40. I gotta have it!" I didn't even know who I was anymore. And forget about looking at myself in the mirror. That just didn't happen anymore.Let me fast forward a little. I know you all want have another cigarette and get a fill-up on your coffee and this meetings only a hour. It wasn't long before I started ducking out of work early to make a couple loads before sunset. I never thought they would fire me. They said something about job abandonment. No big deal. I didn't want to be there anyway. Now I had more time to jump! Great, right? Yeah, well, sure enough, the first of the month rolls around, and I didn't have the rent. What little money I had left was now gone and with no income, bills just weren't an option. I wasn't even home when the sheriff threw my shit in the street. I was at....that's right, the dropzone. When I finally dragged my filthy, dirty, sweaty, tired ass back home, I realized I had nowhere to even store my things until I got back on my feet. My whuffo friends had deserted me a long time ago and all my new "friends" were still down at the dz. It actually seemed like a good plan at the time. It's funny how the addiction starts controlling you. You don't even realize when it happens. I end up selling everything I owned at the pawn shop. Clothes, tv's, stereo's, jewelry. Even my car. The only thing I kept was my rig, tent, and the rest of my gear. It was pretty hot at the dz, so I didn't even need my sleeping bag. I hitched a ride back down and set up my new home in tent city. I still didn't think I had a problem. All I had to do was pack enough early in the day, then I'd have enough for a sandwich and some jump tickets. As long as I could get my fix, I'd be happy.And that's all I do now, pack and jump, pack and jump. "But at least I'm skydiving!", I thought. Well, that's my story. Thanks for listening. I gotten over the first hump. I admit that I am powerless over the sky.......Wait a minute, what am I saying. I'm happier now than I ever was with a house and a job. You guys are on your own. I'm gonna go make a skydive. See ya!!! -can't you trip like I do-Clubber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zclubber1 0 #2 August 9, 2001 P.S. I stole the altiholics idea from BenW. Sorry, man. But at least I'm giving you credit here.-can't you trip like I do-Clubber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tee 0 #3 August 9, 2001 ROFLMAO!!!!!!!WAAAY too funny!Tee Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #4 August 9, 2001 oh my god!!!! I'm one too!!!!! still in the early stages though, i can still stop it if i want....but i don't....so i'll be there with you soon...until then make a jump for me cielos azules y cerveza fría-Kevin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #5 August 9, 2001 I dont have a problem......it's under control. I can stop whenever I want. I havent sold any organs, of my own anyway, for jump tickets."I.....am Powdered Toast Man!"-Ren & StimpyClay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phastasphuk 0 #6 August 9, 2001 "whats in the bag?? - My life....."No problem doing the big Cut Away, you can always start being a drugrunner or something else illegal as all skydivers do!!!....or was that just in the movies.....chris"but hunny, I'll be away from my chute 5 weeks too..." -chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #7 August 9, 2001 you can always start being a drugrunner or something else illegal as all skydivers do!!!SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.......They'll be on to us now........"I.....am Powdered Toast Man!"-Ren & StimpyClay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hottamaly 1 #8 August 9, 2001 OK, I admit it too, I Linda, am a altiholic also. There, happy now?This has got to be one of the best and funniest post I've seen to date. LOLI think I'll print it and frame it.SKYDIVING GAVE ME A REASON TO LIVE.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viking 0 #9 August 9, 2001 ok i will be the dumbshit that asks. Did you really loose your job and all that shit??? cool story by the way you must have picked up some of Michele's skills Remember when Sex was safe and skydiving was Dangerous? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zclubber1 0 #10 August 9, 2001 Funny?!?!? I have a serious problem and I need help! I expected support from this group, not mocking laughter. -can't you trip like I do-Clubber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zclubber1 0 #11 August 9, 2001 Viking,, -can't you trip like I do-Clubber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chronistin 0 #12 August 9, 2001 Me too. no time for meetings, gotta find that plane Andrea*************************************http://www.wortwerkstatt.at/skydiving Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflyer49 0 #13 August 9, 2001 This may sound like fun and games til you get A.I.D.S.Altitude Induced Divorce Syndrome.....Then 1/2 your jumps gotta go to the Wuffo wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #14 August 9, 2001 "Then 1/2 your jumps gotta go to the Wuffo wife"It's cheaper to shoot them in the long run....."I.....am Powdered Toast Man!"-Ren & StimpyClay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dar 0 #15 August 9, 2001 You're not the only one that's an altiholic.... anybody got any info on how to become a drug runner to support my habit??? Let's be serious though. My name is Dar, and I'm an altiholic. It all started when I decided to date a skydiver. I was hooked before I even jumped. I spent hours watching skydiving videos and reading books and mags about skydiving. I couldn't afford to support my habit... and myself. Now I live with my parents... you guessed it... so I can have $$ to skydive. I am also in the middle of a bankruptcy... I wonder why. I would just go live in a tent at the dz, but I live in Minnesota, so I would be an icicle here in a couple of months. Anybody got tent space in a WARM state??? My parents were hoping that I'd give up skydiving when I gave up the skydiving boyfriend.... well, actually... they think I gave up skydiving too... what they don't know.... You know that you're an altiholic when...Your #1 prerequesite to date a man is that he be a skydiver.Am I sick, or WHAT???I am only attracted to altiholics... is there a medication for that?LOLBlues!Dar"If God had meant us to stay on the ground, he would have given us roots." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zclubber1 0 #16 August 9, 2001 I can't get a wife since I can't afford a wedding. All my money was spent on skydiving.That gives me an idea! Maybe I can start the Skydivers' Ministry. Tax exempt and cheap skydiver weddings right at the dz. I figure a couple of jump tickets should cover the ceremony. Hmmmm.....what was that "start your own ministry" URL, again?-can't you trip like I do-Clubber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #17 August 9, 2001 "Your #1 prerequesite to date a man is that he be a skydiver"-DarUmmm....got a pic...it is a prereq......"I.....am Powdered Toast Man!"-Ren & StimpyClay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dar 0 #18 August 9, 2001 I must have left it in my other computer.... LOL.How about a description??... I'll scan my face later.5'9" 140 blond/greenMaybe we could support our habit by starting a dating service for altiholics???Blues!Dar"There's no such thing as a perfectly good airplane."(I should know, I'm a reformed aircraft mechanic... LOL) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #19 August 9, 2001 OK....Sounds like I can fit you in. It's first come hottie first serve..........Georgia stays pretty warm in winter. "I.....am Powdered Toast Man!"-Ren & StimpyClay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zclubber1 0 #20 August 9, 2001 Not as warm as LA. And tent city at Perris is the cadillac of tent cities. Dar could run the dating service, and I could marry the happy couples. Perfect.-can't you trip like I do-Clubber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #21 August 9, 2001 Dar? Is Heidi Fleiss your idol by any chance? What a good girl....LMAO"I.....am Powdered Toast Man!"-Ren & StimpyClay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dar 0 #22 August 9, 2001 Okay... I'm in... SoCal is the place for me... when do I start??? If we're gonna do the weddings, too... do I have to help with those too??? Always the bridesmaid... never the bride...Blues!Dar Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dar 0 #23 August 9, 2001 SSSSHHHHHH!!!!! I AM Heidi Fleiss.Blues!Dar Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zclubber1 0 #24 August 9, 2001 Of course you'll help with the weddings. Why do you think the ceremony fee is TWO jump tickets! And don't worry about the never the bride thing. Our wedding will be the first I perform. Actually, are you allowed to marry yourself.I kind of like the sound of it. Reverand and Mrs. Clubber of the Southern Californian Skydivers' Ministry. I'll even let you decorate the tent any way you want. Everyone kept telling me that as soon as I could admit to myself that I was in fact an altiholic, everything else would fall into place and I could start rebulding my life again. Married, tax free, 2 new businesses, AND I still get to skydive!! Perfect! -can't you trip like I do-Clubber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #25 August 9, 2001 "Actually, are you allowed to marry yourself"Only if you are Schitzophrenic and live in San Francisco."I.....am Powdered Toast Man!"-Ren & StimpyClay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
