lazerq3 0 #1 July 25, 2001 Forgot to add this in the last post but I got to the packing hanger and started to pack my chute. While I was counting out the cellsI got to the center cell and saw some loose thread on the canopy upon further inspection I saw a big hole (or rip as I saw it) not thinking I threw my chute down and said "F%ck...God D$mn it!!!!!" One of the J/Ms came over to see what was wrong. I told him the chute was ripped, when the hell did that happen it wasnt there when I opened!!! (I was pissed). I then showed him the hole and he looked up and laughed....Thats your crossport... all of you cells have them... see and then he proceeded to show me......DOH!!!!!! I didnt even think of it (dumbass)so there you have it... I won the IDIOT AWARD for the weekend!jason Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ClayFowler 0 #2 July 25, 2001 and then admitted it to the entire world on DZ.com. That may count for two!.....LOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #3 July 25, 2001 dont' feel so bad. I did this too, and more recently than I'm willing to admit to!!! no question is a dumb question. =c)Stacyhttp://astro.temple.edu/~sweeks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zelda 0 #4 July 25, 2001 LOL!! If it makes you feel any better, I was once so nervous about a jump that I put my helmet on backward just before jumprun. My J/M nearly pissed himself laughing. If you're going to make an ass of yourself, do it right and make sure there are lots of people around to see it!! -zelda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #5 July 25, 2001 Not wishing to look foolish, I won't ask "whatinheck is a crossport...." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lazerq3 0 #6 July 26, 2001 First to Zelda and stacy...CHEERS QuoteNot wishing to look foolish, I won't ask "whatinheck is a crossport...."Crossports are holes in the cells about 7-8in dia that allows air to flow through each cell. I believe it is to reduce the chance of the chute collapsing in turbulance! Someone wanna double check me?jasonP.s hey michele, keep asking those questions. Your Only a fool if you think you know it all. Of coarse I was the fool this time (stupid crossports tricking me like that!!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ClayFowler 0 #7 July 26, 2001 OK....Cross Port- A whole in the rib of the parachute. Ensures (or tries to) that all cells are evenly pressurized during canopy flight.Rib- Verticle (when inflated of course) portion of fabric that seperates each cell. Has holes in it!!!!!!! LOLTop Skin/Bottom Skin- Hopefully self explanatory....No holes...I hope Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #8 July 26, 2001 Thank you both!!! Appreciated information and adds to my education!ciel bleu-Michele Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ClayFowler 0 #9 July 26, 2001 Lazer: It is not so much for turbulence as it is for turns. The inside cells have even less "relative airspeed" in a turn than in level flight while the cells toward the outside are going much faster(more air) The ports help to evenly distribute the pressure and keeps them inflated. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lazerq3 0 #10 July 26, 2001 AHHHH...that makes more sence!! thanxs. So is it airlocks that keep it inflated and stable in turbulance!jason Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymedic 0 #11 July 26, 2001 QuoteSo is it airlocks that keep it inflated and stable in turbulance!you got it!!MarcA-38578 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dove 0 #12 July 26, 2001 Oh, I think I can top this one!!!! When I was taking some skydive U lessons, I was at 12,000 feet when I suddenly "realized" that my altimeter wasn't working!!! *@#$%@$@%!!! It was still at ZERO!!!! Oh, never mind, it is always at zero at 12,000!!!! LOL!!!!!Elisa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #13 July 26, 2001 Here's a good one....one of the jm's at XKeys told me about a guy that chopped on his first AFF. They were watching him and couldn't figure out why he chopped. He did everything good, opened his reserve and landed safely. They asked him why he cut away, and he said because the slider slid down all the way. He thought that was a malfunction and cut away!! Guess that's better than not recognizing a mal and not cutting away though.cielos azules y cerveza fría-Kevin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ClayFowler 0 #14 July 26, 2001 PhillyKev: Thats why some people should just stick with golf or bowling....LMAO. Although it sounds like putting clubs in this guys hands could be dangerous. I used to make new guys that did things like this in the military say this 3 times real fast...."I'm a danger to myself and everyone around me!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #15 July 26, 2001 PhillyKev, here's a better one...An IAD student on his second or third jump (forgot which) chopped a good main about five months back at my DZ. When he landed he told us why: The sound of the slider flapping was too loud, louder than on his last jumps, so he chopped it thinking it was bad.Heh, kids these days...Kris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
froggie 0 #16 July 26, 2001 I put my helmet on backward just before jumprun.why does this remind me of one of stacys AFF levels? :) ROFdid you also wave off, pull your hacky and precide to wave your pilot chute at the nearest instructor? wait.. thats just more of stacys vids :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aviatrr 0 #17 July 26, 2001 Quote Here's a good one....one of the jm's at XKeys told me about a guy that chopped on his first AFF. They were watching him and couldn't figure out why he chopped. He did everything good, opened his reserve and landed safely. They asked him why he cut away, and he said because the slider slid down all the way. He thought that was a malfunction and cut away!! Guess that's better than not recognizing a mal and not cutting away though. Even better.. A girl at my old DZ cut away a perfectly good main on AFF1.. Nice reserve deployment, good landing.. When asked why she cut it away, she replied...."The canopy was too close - the lines weren't extended all the way".. When they asked if the reserve looked any better - she realized what she did.. "Ummm, no, I guess not"Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #19 July 26, 2001 Every time I read a new post in this thread I think of the ever present, always remember, honorable Homer J. Simpson. In his immortal words:"DOH!" Quickly followed by:"mmmm...BEER...AGHGHAHGHAHGHAGH"See, he IS a skydiver. Seriously, though, you've got to wonder how some of these people made it out of their childhood, much less why they're trying to become skydivers. Next time one of those jumpers is on your load, tell him that the plane is climbing poorly and the pilot asked you to tell him to get out and push, that'll keep you a little safer.AggieDave '02-------------Blue Skies and Gig'em Ags!BTHO t.u. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #20 July 26, 2001 KELLY!!!wait till you get some good vids. nothing will be sacred. =c) ANd the pilot chute- I wanted the instructor to see me pull!!! heehee.... Stacyhttp://astro.temple.edu/~sweeks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skreamer 1 #21 July 26, 2001 Hell, when I was doing AFF, I was watching a rigger repack a reserve. I asked him why it didn't have a 3-ring system just like the main.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RemiAndKaren 0 #22 July 26, 2001 Quotesear the frays with a lighter.Anyone want to guess what happens next?Reminds me of a joke... how do you get a cat to bark like a dog? Dip it in gasoline, and put a match to it... WOOOOOOOF......Sorry if I offended any cat lovers... but here goes one that should balance things out...How do you make a dog meow like a cat?Put it in a freezer fro a couple of days, and then take the chain saw out... MEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWhehehe Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grogs 0 #23 July 26, 2001 QuoteKELLY!!!wait till you get some good vids. nothing will be sacred. =c) ANd the pilot chute- I wanted the instructor to see me pull!!! heehee.... And let's not forget when you knocked your 2 JM's heads together. My most embarassing moment is still when I put the wrong rig on and jumped it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ClayFowler 0 #24 July 26, 2001 Grogs: I just hope you didnt cut away cause it wasnt your normal looking main!!! "Hey, that doesnt look like my parachute!!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zelda 0 #25 July 26, 2001 QuoteWhen I was taking some skydive U lessons, I was at 12,000 feet when I suddenly "realized" that my altimeter wasn't working!!! *@#$%@$@%!!! It was still at ZERO!!!! Oh, never mind, it is always at zero at 12,000!!!! ROFLMAO!!! THAT'S CLASSIC!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
