Best Skydiving "Diseases"?

[chaz1234 0]

Okay, since I've started skydiving, I've been inflicted with stomach flu, measles, mumps, malaria, and leprosy. I think work is getting worried about my well-being, especially since I seem to only get sick on clear, cloudless days... What else can I come down with?

[harro 0]

Tell them your Bum is sick and they dont ask any questions after that!
Freemind, freesky, freebeer, freefly

[Shark 0]

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What else can I come down with?

What about STDs? (Skydiver Transmitted Diseases)

[mouth 0]

Tell them you need to go for an adjustment.
An ALTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

[DBTECH 0]

Less believable---E Bola virus!
More believable---Meningitis
db

[Grogs 0]

Well... you don't actually even have to be sick believe it or not. Just tell them your car is broken down. It's hard for them to argue about it since there's no way you can make it to work without a car, plus you've got an automatic alibi if they call your house while you're out skydiving (at the mechanic). You just have to make sure you don't hurt yourself skydiving because that sort of blows your cover.

[Iflyme 0]

What about "canopyitis", or "riser-burn", or maybe even "low altitude sickness". You could just say you've had a malfunction...

[freaksister 0]

Well, I *used* to work at a shelter for battered women, and after a nasty landing on the tarmac, I came to work all bandaged up...everyone asked me if I had been abused! Workers, clients, etc.! I told them, "No, this was self-induced." They all looked at me in horror, and I just walked away, thinking...uh, right! I should have just called in and said I was in a car wreck! It would have been totally kosher since I really did look like it. I would go to the grocery to get bandages and such, and the workers would ask me if I had been in a car wreck or some such. Of course, I don't recommend hurting yourself, especially seeing as how you wouldn't be able to jump anyway!! But I thought the story was funny to share with ya'll, just considering "skydiving diseases" or "injuries which cause you to miss work."
Right, OK then...I'm out.
Sis
The road to hell is paved with good intentions-but sometimes,good intentions are all we humans have.

[PalmettoTiger 1]

Severe Ground Poisoning usually requires an immediate dose of altitude. Blues, squares,
PTiger
*insert witty sig here*

[wildblue 7]

call in with "Explosive Diarrhea" ... they usually don't want to know any more.

[riggerrob 643]

It's amazing how many of my skydiving buddies have sprained their ankles during baseball tournaments. At least that is what they told their bosses Monday morning!

[SpeedRacer 1]

Quote

Well, I *used* to work at a shelter for battered women, and after a nasty landing on the tarmac, I came to work all bandaged up...everyone asked me if I had been abused! Workers, clients, etc.! I told them, "No, this was self-induced." They all looked at me in horror, and I just walked away, thinking...uh, right! I should have just called in and said I was in a car wreck! It would have been totally kosher since I really did look like it. I would go to the grocery to get bandages and such, and the workers would ask me if I had been in a car wreck or some such. Of course, I don't recommend hurting yourself, especially seeing as how you wouldn't be able to jump anyway!! But I thought the story was funny to share with ya'll, just considering "skydiving diseases" or "injuries which cause you to miss work."

This is really funny. Last year a friend of my mother's was out at a fancy restaurant with her husband. She had been in a car accident a few days earlier & had gotten a black eye when the side of her face struck the steering wheel (no other injuries though). So they're sitting in the nice restaurant getting all these really WEIRD looks from the waiters/other customers & couldn't figure out why. Finally she remembered she had a black eye & realized what everyone was thinking :"Oh, that awful man beat up his wife and now he's trying to make it up to her by taking her out to this fancy restaurant!"
It's amazing what people conjure up in their own minds from just a few clues.
Speed Racer
"De plaene!! De plaene!!"