a bit of poetry

[Deleted 0]

on occasion i dabble a bit into the realm of poetry and have one that i am thinking about entering in a contest.. i wanted to see if you all think it sucks or is worth doing.. be honest, as i'll check to see what ya'll think :) here it goes:
We sit in the plane, all huddled together
We've prayed all week long, for this beautiful weather.
The sky is all blue, no clouds are in sight
and we all hope that the winds remain light.
The moment arrives, it is our time to soar.
My heart becomes heave as I scoot to the door.
A lot of excitement, a little bit scared,
there is no time to think, "am I really prepared?"
Finally the leap into magical flight,
and suddenly i know; everything is alright.
I perform some manuevers, while having some fun
then check the altimeter, my freefall is done.
I pull out my ripcord, my chute opens wide.
There is nothing that compares with this magnificent ride.
Time for me to land, so I chose my spot,
Then I flare! flare! flare! and land on the dot.
On top of the world; that's where I am sitting.
It never occurred to me; that idea of quitting.
Some people may ask, "why do you do it?"
I cannot explain; they have never been through it.
Others drift through life, just barely alive,
While my life is the best, because I chose to skydive.
That's it, any comments or suggestions are appreciated..
Thanks
Austin

[Austin 0]

whoops!!! i wasn't logged in.
that's my poem
Austin

[MC208B 0]

you're not that guy playing bongos on last years Lost Prairie boogie tape are you? lol!!!

[airann 1]

Austin!
That has a wonderful piece of imaginary (vs) the way it is flavor to it and I really like it alot.
I am copying it, I will let you know where I put it. Hey, if you dont like it in the living room, bam, straight to the kitchen.
Clear Blue and Extra Alt,
AirAnn
http://www.AirAnn.com

[BPO 0]

Nice!
Printed & stuck on the whiteboard...
Let us know how the contest turns out..

[Austin 0]

Thanks for the comments. I'll probably try and get it typed up for that contest in a couple of days.. I'm glad you liked it.
Austin

[Austin 0]

now that there's a whole bunch of people on line (yes, i did look ), i thought i'd bump this up and see if anyone else has any suggestions/comments..
Austin

[Zennie 0]

Very nice! Good job.
I'm gonna have to post some haiku one of these days.
------------
Blue Skies!
Zennie

[PalmettoTiger 1]

Quote

I'm gonna have to post some haiku one of these days.

My main malfunctions.
I chop, but my reserve fails.
Shit shit shit shit shit!
Blues, squares,
PTiger
*insert witty sig here*

[TBone 0]

I should be working
Yet I read dropzone.com
They should fire my ass

[GeekStreak 0]

I love it, man! My only suggestion is that you SEND IT IN AND WIN!!!
Cheers,
Geek