How lyrically cool can you folks be ?

[PLFKING 4]

Hi all.
I've got a buddy here at work who heads a pretty good rock-and-roll / blues band, and at his request I've been working on a skydiving song for the last month, and am pretty pleased with the result so far. It's going to start off slow and ballady, build up the pace to the half-way point, recitations for about a minute-and-a-half, then finish strong.
Although I've written poetry off-and-on all my life, this is the first time I've tried to mate it to song, and I'm not sure of all the terminology, so you knowledgeable people out there that I hear snickering in the background -- STOP IT !
Anyway, the "recitations" part will be just "talking" over a bass beat; no singing. I want to put into that section any skydiving-related sayings, mantras, one-liners, etc...that are relative to the sport.......just an example :
playing chicken with the planet,
arch thousand, two thousand, three thousand,
pull, pull at altitude, pull with stability,
pull and flare (from Lisa...if I may ?),
blue ones,
takes the piss...
You see what I mean. I've only been in the sport for 7 months, so I want some help from you long-timers as far as cool things you've heard along this vein. I could really use the help ! You'll get your choice of either "album credit" or "beer".......(something tells me to get out the wallet !)
Throw some cool shit at me ............
The PLF Composer

[Zennie 0]

I think Frank's the man for this. He wrote a great little ditty about a week ago.
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Blue Skies!
Zennie

[PalmettoTiger 1]

I think Billy's "Freemind, freesky, freebeer, freefly" is nifty. Also, our old jump plane had a little sign by the door that said "If you must smoke please step outside." I've always thought that was cool as hell, but it might not translate to the song if you're not seeing it beside a door.
Blues, squares,
PTiger

[Divadiver 0]

Kingie:
Did you hear snickering? I can't imagine who that was, because I was bent double in a belly laugh that they heard all the way down the hall!!
Did you happen to catch Screamer's quote this morning? "Free your mind and your ass will follow." (I love it)
There's one I overheard a JM telling his student. "It's o.K. to hold your breath when you jump because at that altitude you can breath through your skin" I'm sure those JM's have all kinds of cool stuff for you.
Diva

[cyberskydive 0]

Cmon we need Gangsta rap songs!
D.Chisolm C-28534
webmaster@sunraydesigns.com
http://www.sunraydesigns.com

[PLFKING 4]

Yes !!
This is EXACTLY the kind of stuff I'm looking for. I don't want to rip-off established songs or poetry -- just little one-liner zingers dedicated to the sport -- something that will stick in a non-divers head, and make them say "What does THAT mean ?". Like PTiger's two (not bad for a mediocre brain !). Diva's "Free your mind..." is too mainstream -- not exclusive to the sport, but I've heard the "Hold your breath" and that's already in.....
And I'm lucky if I get 15 minutes a day lately to check on you guys, so I missed Frank's contibution -- I did, however, credit Skreamer and MikeD for the "takes the piss", and also got a laugh out of Skreamer's "taking a s*** in the cup on the golf green" from another thread........I still play occasionally, and never even CONSIDERED it until now, but you can bet when I tap in that par putt now, I'm taking a quick glance before I stick my fingers ANYWHERE (which might even be a good idea in a general sense for every aspect of life !).
Keep 'em coming, and THANKS !!
The PLF Potentate

[GeekStreak 0]

LOL!
If you can't hear the ball bounce around in the cup, BEWARE!
Back in the day when I was in the Navy we had some mysterious dude who would crap just past the threshhold of the hatch exitting "officer's country". The first officer to leave in the morning was usually the one who "found" it as he stepped through the hatch. The dude was never caught, but we had a new slogan for the junior officers on the ship.
"The early bird gets the turd." hehe
Geek

[skybytch 273]

Heya Kingie!!
You have my express permission to use "pull and flare" but I gotta say I got it from someone else....
Some more -
The three priorities in a skydivers life - EFS (eat, f*%$, skydive) and... SFE, the way it SHOULD be! (skydive, f&%$, eat) (example - hanging at the dz at the end of the day, I look at a cute guy and say "well I jumped and ate dinner so I've gotten in two of my daily priorities; wanna join me behind the building and help with the third?")
high speed dirt (already used by Megadeth but I like it); meat bomb or meat missile; blue skies, black death;
Door!; Cut!; pray to the weather gods; cardinal puff (an ancient skydiver's drinking game); launched a chunk (off the plane!!! you people are sick... although from what I've heard cardinal puff often results in someone launching chunks ); i love the smell of jet fuel in the morning; my drinking club has a skydiving problem; you did your first what? BEER!
Speaking of beer.... I like Sam Adams
pull and flare,
lisa

[Zennie 0]

He corked on us again.
What a great head down!
We did a cool horny gorilla.
Man, he biffed that landing.
Low turns kill.
He bounced.
She burned in.
Don't funnel the exit.
Fly your slot.
Don't go low on the formation.
We exited in a meeker.
I did a great 4-way with John, Jim and Kim!
Airspeed turned 39 points! (they did, watch the video)
Don't pull low unless you are.
You follow me, you die. (A fave of one of our DZ regulars)
He loves to pull in Cypres territory.
If you see bugs in freefall, PULL!
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Blue Skies!
Zennie

[PLFKING 4]

Thanks, all, for the help -- I am mucho apprecianado.....I got several suggestions that I can use (and some were actually "printable" !)
Lisa --
Can you explain the rules to "cardinal puff" ? I'm always interested in learning a new drinking game....and concerning SFE -- just tell me which dropzone, and which particular building, and I am SO THERE ! And thanks for your "express permission" -- I won't abuse the privilege.
Zennie --
"He loves to pull in Cypress territory"...I've never heard that, but I definitely like it ! And what does "exited in a meeker" mean, O Mighty Zen-Master (your name isn't Phil Jackson, is it ?)
Geekstreak--
After your story, I have to share this.....this has always been one of my mom's favorite stories -- I know I heard it a million times growing up.
My dad joined the Navy at the start of his service career (sadly, the Red Cross helicopter he was piloting was shot down in 'Nam) and a friend of his was on latrine duty one week. His CO would always ream him during inspection, so one day, as a joke, he scrubbed the toilet until it was spotless, then put a dab of peanut butter under the water, right at the outlet. The CO comes in for inspection, sees it, goes ballistic, and shouts "What the hell is this, sailor ?" Dad's friend studies it for a moment with a baffled look on his face, reaches in and gets it out, then rolls it around between his fingers to feel the consistency, then puts it IN HIS MOUTH, grimaces, then looks at his CO, and with a straight face says, "Tastes like shit, Sir !"
The CO's aide starts laughing, but the CO never blinked. He just looked at the guy and said "Good call, sailor -- and since you are so good at identifying waste, you now have latrine duty for two months. Carry on." He then saluted, and walked out !

I always chuckle when I think of this.....
And the beer's in the mail !
The PLF Admiral
Edited by PLFKING on 5/25/01 09:51 AM.

[PalmettoTiger 1]

Quote

"The early bird gets the turd."

My favorite variation of the early bird saying is "The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
Blues, squares,
PTiger

[jtval 0]

i play guitar and sing too. ive written some skydiving songs. unfortunately NOBODY jumps in my local area so they wouldn't understand. (i've taken 26 tandems but only one got certified and still jumps with me)but i wrote some lryics thatwhuffos could easily misinterpret. a bluesy(not crying in my beer blues but like sitting around a bon-fire blues) song about being held back by a whuffo girl.
i just gotta be free...
wont you let me go...
dont you mock me for the thing that i do
iv'e always told you the truth
i'm still freefalling for you...
(that type of stuff.)
dont ever tell me i cant...go down
dont ever try to keep me.. on the ground
dont' you ever tell me i cant get high
dont tell me i cant leap into the sky.
of course there more meat to the song but you get the idea.
that was the most recent stuff i wrote so that i whuffo can hear it and think that im talking about sex,woman and drugs...when in fact im talking about sex, woman and skydiving(which to me is a drug)
i have some better lyrics but i haven't finished the music for them yet.
i do like the saying"nascar is for pu$$ies, i can do 300 standing on my head"
hope you find what you're looking for
have fun, live free, SKYDIVE!!!
JT
Edited by jtval on 5/25/01 12:33 PM.

[Brokeneagle 0]

And let's not forget the ever-popular, 'when in doubt, whip it out' or that oldie but goodie, 'arch, fart, pull' ; I'm sure there are several hundred more floating around.....

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[skybytch 273]

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Can you explain the rules to "cardinal puff" ? I'm always interested in learning a new drinking game....

Weellll.... I don't actually know the entire ritual, I only saw it performed once, but I hear it goes back to the 60's, was popular (started?) in So. Cal. and you can get cool "ranks" like Cardinal and Pope. If you know any jumpers who've been around for 20 years or so they'll probably know what it is... ask around!

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...and concerning SFE -- just tell me which dropzone, and which particular building, and I am SO THERE !

*giggle*
pull and flare,
lisa