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turtlespeed

Skydiver as President?`

By turtlespeed, in Speakers Corner

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mardigrasbob    0

mardigrasbob
Bob Speaks Out on the Issues

THE NATIONAL DEBT:
I haven't a clue how we're going to pay it off. I say, "Let our grandchildren deal with it". However, in the meantime we should probably transfer all the debt to one of those credit cards with a 'no interest' introductory offer. We can continue moving it from one card to another. At least we'll avoid the interest charges for now.

ENVIRONMENT:
I seem to remember reading that giant sea turtles will eat plastic and other garbage. Great! Let's starting raising sea turtles in captivity then release them into the oceans to clean up the mess. I call this my Man-and-Nature-Working-Together plan.

ENERGY:
The 'Green Peace' folks don't want you to know this but, burning whale oil can be cleaner than many fossil fuels. Remember: whales and the stuff they eat (plankton) are both renewable energy sources. I also propose that American automobile manufactures be required to have 50% of their vehicles running on whale oil by the year 2020.

NASCAR:
Don't change a thing! Ok, maybe this isn't really a campaign issue, but a guy's got to look for support wherever he can. See example.

IRAQ:
Lets quickly put 'hating our enemies' behind us. It's time we spend billions rebuilding their economy so we can start complaining about American jobs lost to yet another country. Sure it sounds crazy but it's what we do.

TAXES:
I say let’s make the tax code even more complicated than it already is. We need to make it so difficult that no one can understand more than a small fraction of the rules. This will stimulate the economy by putting thousands of unemployed Americans back to work as tax preparation experts and CPAs. And remember: "Complicated" always means "Fair and Just".

EDUCATION:
Lets take a lesson from this country’s successful Farm Programs. The time is right to start paying teachers NOT to teach selected subjects. Just as paying farmers 'not to grow certain crops' helps the farmers, paying teachers 'not to teach' will increase their wages. I say, "Happy teachers guarantee a brighter tomorrow".

GUN CONTROL:
The Second Amendment to the Constitution clearly gives the people the right to keep and bear arms, and yet the Founding Fathers are noticeably silent on whether we can own bullets. I feel this issue deserves more thought before deciding which block of voters I want to alienate.

PORK BARREL SPENDING:
I propose creating a new and powerful research committee to study this problem in more detail. I would also suggest that the HQ be built in my home state. A big fountain in front would look nice too.


www.beercanbob.com/pres01.html


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peacefuljeffrey    0

peacefuljeffrey
Quote

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Ok is Bob Kelly or VSG because thats were your link goes too



The link is just present thread :P

How I love the American way of humor. It's just so ...err brilliant ? [:/] :S

:D



Those French comedians keep coming out with hilarious wide-release movies! I can't wait for the next Gerard Depardieu teen comedy! :D

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey
-
-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

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