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Tests have repeatedly shown that an assailant armed with a pie can cover 21 feet before you draw, cock and aim a meringue gun. For close quarters work a pie will beat a meringue gun hands down every time.
For plinking away on the range, sure a scotch egg is your friend, but for urban, or close quarters use, you can't beat a pie.
You are probably too young to recall Benny Hill's hit 'Ernie', he faces an assailant armed with rock cakes and stale pork pies, and loses in a pitched battle.
full lyrics here http://www.tnsf.ca/bennyhill/display.php?filename=ernie_2&type=lyrics
"Now Ernie dragged him from his van and beneath the blazing sun,
They stood there face to face, and Ted went for his bun.
But Ernie was too quick, things didn't go the way Ted planned,
And a strawberry-flavoured yogurt sent it spinning from his hand.
Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart,
As Ernie, he pushed her aside and a rock cake caught him underneath his heart.
And he looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust,
Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust."
Have good weekend folks, I'm off to a traditional highland wedding, expect photos of hairy guys in frocks early next week. And I'll keep an eye on the cake in case any shenanigans occur.

He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson
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May Contain Nut traces......
craddock 0
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also think target shooting, collecting, ect.
Outside of some skydivers I know, nobody I know owns a gun for self defense. The majority of people I know do own several guns however. They are used for hunting , target , sport, collecting ect.
Some people enjoy jumping out of planes, others enjoy shooting/owning firearms.
I have seen several fatalities first hand from skydiving yet never have known anyone that died from a gun.(non self inflicted)
dingley 0
I, too, prefer crumble. If hurled from a tennis racket (with a smooth action, think lacrosse), it can have the effect of a sawn-off shotgun, splattering the murderous, raping junkie terrorist with sharp fruit and pastry pellets. My mum, who regularly burnt food, pioneered the dumb-dumb crumble, which had extra range. Of course, if you simply have to fill some asshole with bread, just top with breadcrumbs.
JohnRich 4
QuoteThis is a poor analogy, a better one would be, several people kill/injure themselves jumping high performance canopies without low experience so you impose a wing load restriction based on jump numbers. No-one is being punished, just being prevented from doing something that is known to be dangerous.
Your analogy is lacking in characterizing the true nature of the gun ban in England. For example, your analogy implies that as jumpers gain more experience, they would be allowed to jump higher wing loadings. No such equivalent exists with the gun ban. It doesn't matter how law-abiding or how well-trained you are, you still can't own a handgun or a semi-auto long gun. Even British Olympic shooters have to go to France to train.
Here is my rendition of your analogy, adopted to the standards of the gun ban:
Too many skydivers are being hurt on high-performance canopies and canopies with high wing-loadings. Therefore, effective immediately, the government is banning 9-cell and eliptical canopies. Those currently owned will be confiscated by police. If you don't turn them in, you will go to prison. We'll reimburse you for your property, but used canopies aren't worth much, so you'll only get a couple of hundred dollars for it. Yeah, we know it will cost you more than a thousand dollars to replace it with a new government-approved canopy, but, sacrifices have to be made for public safety. It's for your own good.
Furthermore, you will be licensed, and your parachute registered, only to jump government approved parachutes at wing-loadings the governent deems suitable for you. This will mean you'll all be jumping giant student Manta canopies. Yeah, I know, swooping competition will no longer exist, but sacrifices have to be made for public safety. It's for your own good. If we catch you jumping a wing loading higher than 1.2, you'll go to prison.
There, that pretty much sums it up.
JohnRich 4
QuoteAs a whole, we don't give a shit about guns in this country, they can take em away from us, wave them in front of us and stick it up their arses. We don't feel like we've been punished and we aren't crying about the right to own a gun taken away from us.
So you don't care about the rights of law-abiding minorities?
Nice.
Most of the law-abiding gun owners did give a shit. Since they weren't bothering anyone, you had no business taking their property. A free democracy should respect the rights of law-abiding minorities.
JohnRich 4
QuoteMost people would not know how to obtain a handgun illegally, therfore they are prevented from being able to do this kind of thing by the law.
Are you really naive enough to believe that just because you passed a law banning handguns, that criminals can no longer acquire them?
Have drug laws prevented people from using illegal drugs?
Did Prohibition prevent people from drinking illegal alcohol?
JohnRich 4
QuoteQuoteLet's see, handguns in the city.
Chicago? Nope.
New York? Nuh uh.
DC? Not a chance.
LA? Not if you don't want to be treated like a King.
ermm so noone in any of these cities owns a handgun....
Chicago and DC ban them outright. New York and LA make ownership and carry very rare and difficult.
Guess what? These four cities are always amongst the top worst places for gun crime every year. Their bans and restrictions haven't done a thing to stop the criminals.
JohnRich 4
Quote
JohnR, shame on you, we've discussed this before and agreed that the situation is not really that simple. To say that the difference in our crime rates and even their rates of change is solely influenced by gun control is somewhat narrow minded.
I have not said that. In fact, I've denied it, after others have presumed it.
Quotethe first person to highlight the relevance of my new avatar to this conversation will receive a free, fine pull-up from my rig bag.
I don't need the pull-up cord, but I know what it is. It's an artwork "tree" metal sculpture made up out of guns turned in by Africans, which I think is on display in England. Phew, I guess that will stop all the mass killings in Africa now!
JohnRich 4
QuoteWhen you say most do you mean more than half of all gun owners in the US primarily have guns for hunting? That seems like one hell of alot of hunting going on over there!
From the 1994 Statistical Abstracts:
Table 401: 31.3 million hunting licenses sold in 1992.
Table 402, with survey data for 1991, lists:
14,063,000 total hunters, made up of
10,745,000 big game hunters
7,642,000 small game hunters
3,009,000 migratory bird hunters
1,411,000 'other animal' hunters.
Table 390: (for 1992): 16,962,000 visitor days; hunting in national forests in states which have Forest Service Recreation Programs.
Table 406: (for 1992): (from a poll of 10,000 households)
17,819,000 persons hunted with firearms (15th rank among selected sports)
12,309,000 persons participated in target shooting (20th rank)
* * * * *
Guns in America: National Survey on Private Ownership and Use ofFirearms, NIJ Research in Brief, May 1997.
Motivations.
The most common motivation for owning firearms was recreation. As shown in exhibit 3, about 35 percent of gun owners (15 million people, 8 percent of the adult public) hunted in 1994, and about an equal percentage engaged in sport shooting other than hunting. Given the substantial overlap between the two groups, about half (23 million) of the Nation's 44 million gun owners participated in a gun sport during 1994. Of those who owned only handguns in 1994, 40 percent used them recreationally, almost entirely for sport shooting other than hunting.
Another reason cited for firearm ownership was self-protection.
Overall, 46 percent of gun owners possessed firearms (usually handguns) primarily for protection against crime (41 percent for males; 67 percent for females). Almost three-quarters of those who owned only handguns kept them primarily for self-protection.
QuoteQuoteQuoteLet's see, handguns in the city.
Chicago? Nope.
New York? Nuh uh.
DC? Not a chance.
LA? Not if you don't want to be treated like a King.
ermm so noone in any of these cities owns a handgun....
Chicago and DC ban them outright. New York and LA make ownership and carry very rare and difficult.
Guess what? These four cities are always amongst the top worst places for gun crime every year. Their bans and restrictions haven't done a thing to stop the criminals.
AFAIK, they aren't banned in any cities in Texas, but it can be an inconvience to carry them in a city. It is illegal to carry in all city/state buildings and anywhere near a school. Most businesses prohibit them on their property as well. Most people I know with a CHL will keep their gun with them at home, and if they take it with them when they go out, they just leave it in the car.
QuoteChicago and DC ban them outright. New York and LA make ownership and carry very rare and difficult.
There is nothing rare or difficult about gun ownership in LA. 10 day waiting period, and a silly safety card required for hand gun purchases, but still easy enough except for those with a sudden need (stalker, ex boyfriend?).
Getting a carry permit, otoh, is pretty hard in LA County. It's a tad easier in Orange Co to the south, at least for people who carry large payrolls at the end of the day.
SkyDekker 1,465
QuoteI don't need the pull-up cord, but I know what it is. It's an artwork "tree" metal sculpture made up out of guns turned in by Africans, which I think is on display in England. Phew, I guess that will stop all the mass killings in Africa now!
It is unfortunate you seem to be only able to see things in extremes, they are either black or white.....or something would solve all crimes...otherwise some of these discussion would actually by good.
Quoteso what do all the people with hand guns that live in the middle of a city hunt??? is it the crocs that live in the sewers???
That cracked me up.
slug 1
Quote
I've been in some tight spots where a pie could well have saved me some grief, and all that was available was a pain au chocolat. This is why I am never too far away from a pie these days.
If you are going to take your patisserie welfare seriously, get a pie. Its good for anyones constitution.
Pain au chocolat in huge quantities is also causing pain on my hips, as jeans are becoming smaller and smaller suddenly..
ROFLMAO
..... straight into our carnival days







Pie

Now your talking


R.I.P.
QuoteQuote
I've been in some tight spots where a pie could well have saved me some grief, and all that was available was a pain au chocolat. This is why I am never too far away from a pie these days.
If you are going to take your patisserie welfare seriously, get a pie. Its good for anyones constitution.
Pain au chocolat in huge quantities is also causing pain on my hips, as jeans are becoming smaller and smaller suddenly..
ROFLMAO
..... straight into our carnival days![]()
Pie

Now your talking


R.I.P.
What? No pie? Oh, Lord, what a lousy understanding of English language do I have...

Ca, m'est égal, anyhow: Too much pie, chocolate, crème brule, call it, whatever you like, brings pain to me. To my money, if clothes do not fit any longer,



BTW: Now, in our carnival times, we have a very special weapon: It's called the field-kitchen... Impressive, I tell you....


dudeist skydiver # 3105
sfc 1
QuoteQuoteMost people would not know how to obtain a handgun illegally, therfore they are prevented from being able to do this kind of thing by the law.
Are you really naive enough to believe that just because you passed a law banning handguns, that criminals can no longer acquire them?
Have drug laws prevented people from using illegal drugs?
Did Prohibition prevent people from drinking illegal alcohol?
Re-read my post with care, I said most people not most criminals. Most people are not criminals.
Jimbo 0
QuoteI said most people not most criminals. Most people are not criminals.
So what's the problem with law abiding citizens ("not criminals") owning a gun?
-
Jim
Good bye, my friends. You are missed.
Seen Bugsy Malone? Their Thompson machine guns definitely fired something more akin to meringue. You can always out run a pie, but can you out run meringue?
Of course if you want the ultimate stopping power you go for crème brule. The creamy base makes it perfect for the meringue application as in BM, and the tough caramelled sugar topping is going to take down a purp like nothing else.
For ballistic purity and ultimate range I’d have to plump for the humble Scotch Egg. While only normally available as a savory dish, you just know there’d be no outrunning a Scotch Egg where properly employed.
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