woman, sometimes partly responsible for rape?

[yamtx73 0]

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Whew....thank god. I thought you insinuated that I might be smoking something there for a minute....

Sorry, that was my bad
My deepest apologies for insinuating such a thing... I think...

The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

[Michele 1]

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back to the discussion of rape

I'm a bit late entering this conversation, but I've got a thought or two I'd like to share.

I *do* believe that when a woman says no, it means no. If she says stop, it means stop. I also believe that men have that right, too. In those areas which are consenting role-playing games, having a safe word other than "stop" or "no" is imperative to doing it safely and enjoyably for all involved.

I further believe that a woman (and again, man) can get themselves into positions where the risk is higher that they will have to use the word "stop" or "no." And yes, while there is freedom of choice, association, travel and so forth, there are certain things a woman/man must be aware of, and accept the risk of. If they still choose to be there, wherever there is, "No" and "stop" still mean no/stop, and any additional activity would then be rape or sexual assault.

In the OP's postulate, he stated that there was heavy petting and so forth going on. Anyone has the right to say No/Stop at any point during intercourse, up to and past the moment of orgasm. When one hears that word, one needs to stop...and if they don't, they must be willing to accept the consequences of their actions.

Does a woman saying stop, as in Mike's two strokes from orgasm, and in HappyThoughts case, mean stop? Yes...and then I'd recommend that the man get as far away from her as possible, as quickly as possible. That's nothing but trouble, and nothing but pain in the future.

If the situation happened to me, where I had said stop and the contact continued, the contact would indeed continue...but with a significant difference; I am a black belt, and have no concern that if it's one on one I can handle the situation...and handle it I would. And frankly, if the roles were reversed and I were the sexual aggressor, I would absolutely expect the same from him.

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[Amazon 7]

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Asking me how the "raghead" season went is not flattering.

Hmmmm ok.. so this is not what you said?
http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=657084#657084

Nice try, but hey, gotta go trainning for towel head season....Nice talking to u...

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=719895#719895

I don't protest, I just want my chance to go after these towel heads.




must not post the other stufff.... must not post the other stuff

That was a VERY enlightening.. and scary thread.


Oh what the hell... since this thread is ACTUALLY about rape.....

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1860306#1860306

what is rape and abuse in one's culture, it can be glorious delighs or taste of the forbidden to others.

[billvon 3,033]

Amazon, Juanesky, cut it out. Last warning.

[dropoutdave 0]

Just thought i'd throw this in for an interesting statistic, make of it what you will but it appears alot of "rape victims" aren't exactly looking after themselves, drinking themselves stupid and then blaming someone for spiking their drink.

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And whilst incidents do occur, the intentional spiking of people's drinks- more commonly known as 'drug rape' - is also extremely rare in Halton and Warrington. And this reflects the national picture highlighted in a recent report by the Forensic Science Service (FSS)*.

DCI Heaton said: "This latest research has shown that of more than 1,000 tested samples 3% were found to contain evidence of date rape drugs such as Rohypnol, but the drug that featured most was alcohol."

From http://www.cheshire.police.uk/showcontent.php?pageid=625

Before someone jumps on me, i'm not saying this is an excuse for rape or anything like that so don't even go there but it would appear that alot of rape victims are getting so drunk that they cant control or remember anything about the night before and then shouting date rape at the top of their voices.

Unfortunately 970 out of every 1000 date rape accusations are false. They way I see it is that if someone believe they were under the influence Rohypnol then you have to be pretty feckin wasted to the point where they had little or no control over their body.
No matter what chemically enhanced state I get into, I still accept full responsibility for my actions. If I got wasted to the point where I had no control over my body, passed out somewhere stupid, to find i'd been bum raped then i'd think "Dave, you fucking idiot!"

Unfortunately society doesn't smell of roses so we have to look after ourselves, I can't help but wonder what the crime stats would look like if people looked after themselves better and didn't put themselves in such vunerable situations.

That's easier said than done mind, i've done plenty of stupid things myself like walking wasted through the worst part of Liverpool in the early hours and someone tried to mug me, luckily I got a cheap shot to his balls and broke his nose, god knows how, I was that wasted I just swung my arms and legs around like a girl and they hit the right spots!

Still, I see that incident as partly my fault for being such a dick and putting myself in that situation.

A similiar thing happened to my housemate on Christmas eve, he was walking home from a night out wasted through a shitty area and some little scrote tried to take his wallet and he beat the living crap out of him and left him on the floor. When he told me all I said to him was "What the fuck did you expect walking through there?" and he agreed, Then I got him a beer for teaching the little shit a lesson.

I dunno, just some brain farts, tear em apart.

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May Contain Nut traces......

[RhondaLea 4]

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I dunno, just some brain farts, tear em apart.

Nothing to tear apart.

I would like to know, however, where you got the 970/1000 statistic.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[dropoutdave 0]

Only 3% out of a 1000 samples of the drinks claimed to have Rohypnol in actually had it in.

3% of 1000 is 30, therefore 30 out of every 1000 tested positve and 970 out of 1000 had nothing in so that 970 were basically wasted on booze alone.

Is that right? My brain isn't working too good today!

Edited to add, when I said the date rape accusations were false I didn't mean the rape accusation was false, just the accusation that the date rape drug had been used.

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May Contain Nut traces......

[artistcalledian 0]

Rohypnol is SOOOOO yesterday darlings..... its GHB thats so 2006

________________________________________
drive it like you stole it and f*ck the police

[RhondaLea 4]

This was not what I wanted to wake up to.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[yamtx73 0]

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This was not what I wanted to wake up to.

rl

I wanted to wake up to a clear head and warm, blue skies.
Well, I got the blue skies... lol

The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

[Vallerina 2]

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Unfortunately 970 out of every 1000 date rape accusations are false.

Uhhh....NO! While most reports of rape do not end with a conviction, it does not mean it was false. It's hard to get a conviction without a rape kit, and a rape kit is a very invasive procedure, one which many women don't want to go through after having been invaded.

The percentage of false reports of rape is typically no more than false reports of any other felony....1-3%.

Having the false assumption that most women lie about rape and attaching such a stigma to reporting a rape is why I've had so many friends NOT report it when they've been acquaintance raped. I, personally, don't have any friends that have falsely reported getting raped or been falsely accused of rape. I have MANY friends that have been raped and not reported it.

What a silly thread. This is like saying, "If someone goes to the wrong part of town and gets killed, are they responsible for murder?" No, they may not have made the best choices, but the only one who is responsible is the one who pulled the trigger. Most of us have put ourselves in sticky situations at one time or another. It doesn't mean we should be violated because of it.

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[happythoughts 0]

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Most of us have put ourselves in sticky situations at one time or another. It doesn't mean we should be violated because of it.

I knew if I waited long enough, someone would say something clear, concise, and sensible.

[AlexCrowley 0]

Weren't you on an eleventysix week ban?

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[Scoop 0]

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The percentage of false reports of rape are typically no more than false reports of any other felony....1-3%

Im sorry but that figure is ridiculous. A much higher percentage of reported offences are malicious or incorrect than 1-3%. I would even go so far as to say where rape is concerned that percentage would be higher than other offences. Quite a lot of people report an incident as rape because they regret an action, they panic about an experience or as a malicious prank

[AlexCrowley 0]

time, it seems, is the answer to everything.

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[RhondaLea 4]

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Unfortunately 970 out of every 1000 date rape accusations are false.

Uhhh....NO! While most reports of rape do not end with a conviction, it does not mean it was false.

That was just a mistyped statement.

He was talking about date rape drugs and tainted drinks, not about rape reports.

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The percentage of false reports of rape are typically no more than false reports of any other felony....1-3%.

That's more like it.

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I have MANY friends that have been raped and not reported it.

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What a silly thread. This is like saying, "If someone goes to the wrong part of town and gets killed, are they responsible for murder?" No, they may not have made the best choices, but the only one who is responsible is the one who pulled the trigger. Most of us have put ourselves in sticky situations at one time or another. It doesn't mean we should be violated because of it.

This has been the most frustrating part of the thread for me. The idea that one justifies the other is crazy.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[Vallerina 2]

You may be confusing sexual harassment with rape. The false reports of sexual harassment is a greater percentage than for rape. Most women do not go through with prosecuting the rapist because (especially with acquaintance rape) it becomes "he said/she said," and her character gets put up for judgment. Many women stop the process because of numerous reasons, and then many of those women get blamed for "crying rape." It's sad. What I find most sad, though, is that there are so many people out there who are terrified to report a rape, and it's because of beliefs shown in this thread. After being raped by someone that you knew and thought was a decent person, I think one of the last things anyone wants to hear is that they were "slutty" or "dressed like a slut." Rape is such a serious problem, but still, instead of people addressing the needs of victims who are afraid to come forward, they attack "those bitches that cry rape."

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[Scoop 0]

Im talking from my experience of having to guard a so called crime scene for 12 hours only to later find out that she wasnt actually raped, she just got scared because didnt know what to do. Thanks for wasting our time. Ive done that 4 times and everytime it turned out wasnt actually rape.

[Vallerina 2]

Yes, and I know women who reported rape, and then later called it off saying that it didn't happen because they couldn't deal with how they were being treated.

I don't believe in many gender differences, but here I do. Most women after being raped seem to turn to their girlfriends. Here is the scenario I heard too many times in college: I went to my really good guy friend's frat. He said I could stay in his room, and he'd give me the key for it and everything. He said his roommates are decent guys and will give me my privacy. Heck, their female friends were there, too! So, I got drunk, and I passed out on his couch. I woke up to his roommate on top of me.

Maybe it's my perception of having worked at a crisis center and getting many calls of women who were raped but not sure what to do. Many of them wanted to prosecute, but the only way my state would pay for it is if you did a full rape kit...once again, an invasive procedure. So, some of them started the process of prosecuting, couldn't afford it, and just dropped the whole thing.

Yes, some women will falsely accuse men of rape. How many of these women do you think really put a guy behind bars because of it? It's already difficult enough for guilty rapists to be prosecuted. Many many many more women either are too scared to go and report rape because of cops thinking, "Oh great....here we go again," being judged by their friends, not having enough evidence, etc.

Acquaintance rape is by far the most common form of rape, and instead of trying to address the issue of it, people still hold their stereotypes.

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[artistcalledian 0]

i think women who claim rape and it turns out to be false, should be prosecuted with the full weight of the law

falsely accusing of rape is as bad as rape itself

it disgusts me that when a woman falsely accuses a man of rape, either because she gets scared after having consentual sex what her husband might say...or any shit along those lines.... just gets let off due to the fact the law wants to let women who have genuinly ben raped be able to come forward

IF you've been raped, then you've been raped, come forward and prosecute, BUT if you haven't..then you better be fully aware that you're going to be fucked over good and proper by the law for destroying a mans life by your silly actions

if a woman is raped, destroy the man's life who did it
if a woman is NOT raped and claims to be, destroy the womans life who makes the false claim

________________________________________
drive it like you stole it and f*ck the police

[artistcalledian 0]

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Weren't you on an eleventysix week ban?

my ban in here has now finished, but i've got another 2 weeks to serve in that shit hold called The Bonfire...

________________________________________
drive it like you stole it and f*ck the police

[Vallerina 2]

I agree. Anyone who falsely accuses anyone of a felony should be prosecuted.

Though, I would much rather be falsely accused of something than be raped.

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[RhondaLea 4]

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Im talking from my experience of having to guard a so called crime scene for 12 hours only to later find out that she wasnt actually raped, she just got scared because didnt know what to do. Thanks for wasting our time. Ive done that 4 times and everytime it turned out wasnt actually rape.

So are you saying the woman made the call and then recanted or that the guy was charged and she recanted?

Scoop, without laying out my entire life story, I was raped at 13 and at 17. I didn't report either one. If I had reported either one, I don't know what would have happened afterward, because they were not "stranger" rapes. I wasn't drunk either time, btw, and the first incident was at the tail end of a party attended only by people I knew. I shouldn't have been in danger the second time either, but it turned out that I had misjudged the situation I was in. Nonetheless, it was not the sort of situation we have talked about here as "putting oneself in danger."

You have no way to understand the emotional state of a woman who has been sexually assaulted or even one who has been treated badly during a sexual encounter (I'm not talking about BDSM here--that's different). There are guys out there who are real assholes about sex, and the psychic assault delivered by them is beyond your comprehension.

It is heinous to make a false report, but how often does it happen that a crime turns out not to be a crime after all, but a misunderstanding or an angry/upset moment? It's not just about rape, but about those times when emotions are running high. And if, as soon as someone calms down, that person says, "Wait, no...it's not really like that..." well, okay, it's wasted your time, but you waste your time on other things, so why would you single out a frightened, distraught woman as the focus of your annoyance?

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[Scoop 0]

Well then its frustrating that someone who initially reports a rape withdraws for whatever reason. This needs to be addressed and we have great victim support and sexual offences liasion officers who can guide victims and support them. Id say a great deal of offences arent reported with the 'what can they do attitude' but rape has that added phschological effect that must be difficult to come to terms with. Unfortunately the best time to gather evidence and pursue the investigation is as soon as possible so the victim doesnt have much of an oppurtunity to get their head together and think clearly about what they want to do. Its difficult and its certainly not a role id volunteer for

[RhondaLea 4]

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Well then its frustrating that someone who initially reports a rape withdraws for whatever reason. This needs to be addressed and we have great victim support and sexual offences liasion officers who can guide victims and support them.

It's better than it was 30 years ago, but you have to understand something.

I would rather be beaten within an inch of my life than be raped, and I'm guessing that most women probably feel something close to the same.

Forced sex. There's nothing like it. And to ask a woman to get her head together afterward...well, it's asking too much. Someone who is in the mental and emotional fetal position is not capable of accepting support. Especially if they've first had to deal with the tender mercies of the patrolmen with bad attitudes who answered the 911 call.

http://www.rainn.org/statistics/

58% of rapes go unreported. There are good reasons for this.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb